


Stellar Drift

by d8rkmessngr



Series: Their Celestial Sphere [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Doing What Disney Won't, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Poe Dameron/Finn, M/M, Minor Rey/Rose Tico, Misunderstandings, Multi, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Slash, Protectiveness, Rey Needs A Hug, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 62,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22944022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d8rkmessngr/pseuds/d8rkmessngr
Summary: Rey left for Tatooine. Then, she came back as a Jedi, as Rey Skywalker.Things have changed since her time away, but not necessarily for the better. No one would tell Rey why, though. But Rey knew they needed to fix whatever it was before it's too late for all of them.The war was over, but there were still battles to be won.Post 'The Rise of Skywalker'
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey & Rose Tico
Series: Their Celestial Sphere [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648942
Comments: 86
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please note this story is complete. I'm just trying to convert parts up to AO3 when I can.  
> \----------------------------  
> Post 'Rise of Skywalker'

_Hold on…_

+++

_"Approaching starcraft, please state your business."_

Rey's eyebrow rose. She absently pulled an errant brown strand of hair behind her ear as she contemplated the viewport. She glanced back at BeeBee Ate.

The droid rolled up to the pilot seat and booped.

"I don't recognize her either," Rey murmured. She flipped open a port cover and gestured to BeeBee Ate.

BeeBee Ate extended a thin rod and slotted it into the data port. With a quick spin, the code was transferred.

A brief pause.

_"...signal code not recognized, prepare for approach and inspection."_

Rey blinked. "Excuse me?"

_"Unidentified craft, you are in Resistance airspace of Ajan Kloss, recognized by the coalition of the New Republic. Prepare to be—"_

Stars, what is this nonsense? 

It's only been three months. Surely her code was still valid? They would have told her. …Right—yes, of course, they would have said something. Except now, there was a cannon scarred A-wing blocking her light freighter from making its descent.

Rey initiated her comm system in case her headset was fussing up the signal. "I am requesting permission to land. My landing code is Alpha three nine—"

_"Your code is not recognized by the—"_

BeeBee Ate chirped angrily.

"I know, I know," Rey huffed to the droid. She took a deep breath and stretched out her feelings. Her brow knitted together. Where are—ah, there.

Finn and Poe's presences were beacons among others in the Force; she relied on their lights more than any star chart. They occupied the brightest within her personal plane of constellations. 

Except...

_Hold on…_

"This is Rey Skywalker," Rey said, sharper. "Let me speak to General Dameron or General Finn."

_"Rey Sky..."_ The voice gulped. _"The J-Jedi? Uh, er, do you have any proof?"_

What?

Another communication broke through before Rey could reply.

_"Rey? Is this Rey?"_

"Hello, Finn," Rey laughed. Behind her, BeeBee squawked.

_"I know, BeeBee Ate,"_ Finn exasperated, _"We made some security changes. R2D2 was supposed to send you the updated entry codes, but we got bu—no, no, no."_ Finn huffed to someone out of earshot. _"She's fine. We don't need—She's cleared to land, let her through."_

_"Sending landing coordinates now. You're cleared for landing bay three,"_ the A-wing pilot said. In a meek voice, the pilot added, _"Sorry, Master Skywalker."_

"That's all right," Rey said with a wince. It still sounded strange hearing it. She kept wanting to turn around, but she hasn't seen Luke since Tatooine.

Rey cleared her throat and her mind.

"Coordinates received," Rey reported. She grimaced when she heard her brusque tone. She mentally chided herself.

The A-wing pilot in front of Rey's ship pulsed with other new points of light on Ajan Kloss. It was a change from three months ago. The remaining souls of the Resistance were loud with their grief. Rey woke up every morning, needing a moment to remember how to breathe. She woke up every morning needing time to remember who she was: a Jedi and the very last one.

Rey steered her craft towards the coordinates BeeBee Ate received. Next to her, BeeBee Ate cooed, jittering excitedly in place.

In front of Rey, Ajan Kloss's green sphere filled the viewport. 

Around Rey, the Force rang like it wanted to scream with the many presences below. 

Rey curled her hands tighter around the controls. She fought the urge to turn her ship around. 

Next to Rey, BeeBee Ate trilled happily.

"Yes," Rey murmured. Her throat felt as dry as the sands of Jakku. "It's good to be back."

+++

"Rey!"

Finn collided with Rey as soon as she disembarked. She grinned and let Finn crush her into his broad shoulder.

"Thought you were still looking for Jedi temples after Tatooine." 

Rey gave Finn a final squeeze before stepping back from the embrace. Her eyebrow arched high when she noted the people still gathered around her ship. 

Finn shot a frown over his shoulder and they scattered.

"Sorry." Finn shrugged as he nodded to the astromech rolling down the landing ramp. "Hey, BeeBee Ate."

The droid chirped back a greeting and then squealed a series of unflattering notes after it.

Rey smirked at Finn's perplexed expression. 

"We didn't appreciate the blasters pointed at our ship when we landed." She almost used the Force to convince the new faces around her not to fire, but it didn't feel like something a Jedi should do to an ally.

Rey wished she wore something more suitable than her desert attire, something with sleeves, or one with a deeper hood. She should've worn something that didn't look like half of Tatooine's sand hung off her tunic, something more Jedi-like. 

"New security measures. Not everyone here saw your holo-image yet." Finn shooed a few stragglers away from her ship. "You didn't mention you were stopping by. Otherwise, I would have debriefed everybody."

Rey didn't think she needed to notify Finn and Poe beforehand of her impending visit. She pushed back the lump forming in her throat. 

"I thought we would stop by." Rey lightly tapped BeeBee Ate's thin antenna with a finger.

"Someone misses Poe dearly."

BeeBee Ate whistled rapidly and bumped into Finn's knee.

Finn ran a knuckle across the domed head. "Sorry. I know he skipped a few comms."

"A few?" Rey rolled her eyes. "It's been two weeks. BeeBee Ate stopped receiving updates from R2 as well. If it weren't for the occasional recruitment broadcasts I caught between stops, I wouldn't know you two were still at it."

Finn's eyebrow quirked. "Not even with your—" He wiggled his fingers in the air.

It was such a Poe thing to do. Rey smiled at Finn as he circled her craft. He folded his arms in front of him as he considered the freighter. 

"Huh." Finn shook his head. "Where did you find this junk heap?"

Rey pretended to swing her staff at Finn. Finn hopped back with a chuckle.

"This junk heap," Rey grumbled, "was all I could salvage from those Jawas after someone said they were too busy for me." She clamped her mouth shut, but too late, Finn's cheer evaporated. 

"Rey," Finn sighed. He rubbed his neck. "It's not that...I mean—"

"Rey!"

Rose's sparkling aura teased the edges of Rey's awareness, warning Rey of the joyful petite missile on a collision course.

Rey laughed and spun around to catch her. Stars, it was wonderful to see another familiar face.

Rose bounced questions from Rey and BeeBee Ate and back. Where has she been? Did she hear about the new X-wing they were developing? What did BeeBee Ate thought about the new encryption subroutines? Did she hear the Cet-Lane asteroid races were back on?

Finn walked beside them, his hands in his pockets. He looked different. His gait was measured when it used to be energetic like he was always in a hurry. He wore the top half of a general's uniform without its belt, a black shirt peeking out of the dark brown jacket. His trousers, however, were still the blue ones with the many pockets. 

Rey bit back a smile. Finn always started out with empty pockets. By the end of the day, Finn gathered enough for things to spill over. Poe once joked they never needed a tracking fob on Finn; just follow the trinkets spilling out of his pockets.

It was nice to see some things haven't changed.

Finn glanced over Rose's head to Rey. He shook his head, chuckling under his breath, as Rey shared a story about BeeBee Ate. 

The astromech, inspired by Poe's recruitment broadcasts, attempted to recruit Tusken Raiders to the peacekeeping cause. 

Finn shot Rey a grin as she finished up the story amidst BeeBee Ate's indignant beeps. For whatever reason, Finn's expression looked a fraction off.

At Rey's curious look, Finn smiled faintly.

"Funny." Finn nodded towards Rey's staff. "Hey, that's new."

"I used my old one to make my lightsaber." Rey started to reach for it, but it felt like a hundred eyes tracked her. She gestured feebly towards her belt instead. 

Finn studied the wooden hilt swaying against her hip. 

"Suits you," Finn offered and fell silent.

Up ahead, BeeBee Ate whistled to Rose about a subroutine from last month. The two chatted—binary to Basic—with an ease Rey wished she was sharing with Finn right now. It was awkward, stilted, although Rey supposed she couldn't fault Finn. She was the one who left. 

Everyone around Rey was new. And so young. A majority appeared to have only turned legal this year after the war ended. And too many openly stared at her with awe, bordering on rude. Some gaped at her lightsaber, swinging from her thin belt. Others stared, trying to figure out who the newcomer with the staff and lightsaber was.

_…is that her?_

_…what's happening? Why is a Jedi here?_

_Is that a real lightsaber?_

_Can she hear my thoughts?_

Her belly clenched. A buzzing thrummed in her nape; she should have worn her hair down. Her neck felt itchy, exposed, as she walked past another person she did not know. 

Rey's eyes drifted back to Finn, and Rose and her unease settled. She tucked her elbows in, kept her staff close, and fixed her eyes on the two she knew. 

Finn scoffed at whatever the astromech told Rose.

"Glad you kept BeeBee Ate in one piece. Poe would have been upset."

"Speaking of which," Rey scanned the area again. "Was the great General Dameron too busy to welcome me? After pestering me for weeks when I went to Tatooine?"

Rey caught the look Finn and Rose shared.

"What?"

"Nothing. We've changed a few things around the base," Rose jumped in. "At least until we move."

"Move?" Rey repeated numbly. She stopped in her tracks. "You're moving?" Her other hand drifted to her lightsaber.

"Is it the First Order? Why wasn't I informed—"

"We decided a permanent base was needed," Finn cut in. "Something the Republic can go to once the Senate's finalized."

"Oh." Rey inwardly flinched at the word "we." 

Finn looked discomfited with his hands deep in his pockets, his shoulders held stiff and unnatural. 

The squirming feeling in Rey's belly returned.

"What?" Rey pulled in her staff closer until the tip of her nose brushed against it. She shook her head. 

"It's fine. I didn't realize you and Poe were leaving Ajan Kloss."

Finn's brow knitted. "Rey—"

"General. There is another transmission—Why, hello, Master Skywalker, how lovely to see you! It is I, Cee—"

"Hello, Threepio," Rey cut in before the golden protocol droid continued his lengthy introductions. "How are you?"

"I am quite well, Master Sky—"

"Rey." There were times Rey feared the title would attach to Palpatine instead.

"Of course, Master Rey. I am well despite recent events. Why my circuits are still recovering from all the ex—"

"Threepio," Finn interrupted. Rey blinked at Finn's terse tone. "You said there was a transmission?"

"Yes, from the temporary Republic inner chamber. Newly elect Senator Regas insists she must speak with General Dameron at once."

Finn sighed. "All right, I'll be there." He made a face as he turned around to Rey.

"Lunch?" Finn checked the pink stained skies. 

"Make that dinner. Regas likes to hear herself speak."

"I'll take Rey to her quarters," Rose offered. "Do you want Neelsy there?"

It was an unfamiliar name to Rey, but Finn knew whoever it was. He hesitated before he shook his head.

"Not today. Let him be." 

Rey was struck at how tired Finn look. She lightly touched Finn's elbow.

"Dinner, then?" Rey asked softly. She was tempted to reach out and let the Force tell her why her friend looked like their conversation depleted him. 

Finn took a step back. His brown eyes averted.

Rey's throat worked. She pretended she didn't see that. 

"Dinner sounds good." Finn's mouth twisted to what was supposed to be a smile. "I...I gotta go,"

Finn abruptly hopped forward and crushed Rey to him again. His large hand cupped the back of her head.

"It really is good to see you," Finn mumbled into her hair. His finger tugged at a loose strand of her hair before he stepped back.

Threepio struggled to catch up. "Sir, if I may. Perhaps it would be best if we alerted—"

"No," Finn said shortly, "It wouldn't be best. Come on, Threepio."

Finn trotted off; Threepio followed as best he could in that stiff jointed walk of his.

BeeBee Ate rolled forward, stopped, and turned back to Rey and Rose. A whistle rose, ending into a puzzled chirp.

"Yes, I agree," Rey said as she tracked Finn. He disappeared into the thick greens of the forest, most likely to one of the caverns carved out of the mountains she spotted on her approach.

"Very strange indeed," Rey murmured as she studied her surroundings. 

Even the landing area changed. The thick foliage the Resistance relied on for camouflage only bordered the flat area now. There were more starfighters lined up than she'd ever seen.

"Everything looks so different," Rey said before she could stop herself. She shielded her eyes with a hand. There was a boxy light transport craft in the distance. It looked like it was either being pieced back together or torn apart.

Rose cleared her throat. 

"You changed your hair," Rose noted hesitantly. "I like it."

Rey's hand drifted towards the thick braid coiled around a single bun on the top of her head.

"More practical," Rey explained. Not really, Tatooine's sand got into every strand. She tried to copy Leia's style, but Leia never had a chance to show her. 

The result came out all wrong, but it made Rey look different, a different Rey. Maybe even a Rey Skywalker. It was fitting, so she continued wearing the impractical style.

"You kept yours," Rey offered in exchange. Rose's black hair was in check with two messy knots in the back. There was an odd bolt stuck in one, but Rey wasn't sure how welcomed it would be to float it out to show Rose. 

Rose mumbled something about it being practical as well. Her answer was more truthful, which made Rey unable to look at Rose in the eye for too long.

BeeBee Ate whined by Rey's feet.

"I think someone needs a recharge." Rey patted the droid. 

"I set up a portable short volume charging station in your tent. Good for three full charges." 

Rey smiled. "Thank you." It was nice to know she could keep BeeBee Ate close, at least until the droid reunites with Poe.

Rose fidgeted, edging a few steps towards where Finn disappeared to. 

"We moved living quarters this way. Come on, I'll show you."

+++

The green-gray tent was set apart from the central cluster of tents. Unlike the other living quarters, this tent was slit open on both ends with fasteners to close the flaps for privacy.

The back slit opened to an unobscured view of the river and the waterfall currently powering their generators. The splashes always returned to mists in the sky. It meant rainbows every morning.

"Finn said you never saw the water before you left Jakku," Rose explained. "They thought you might like this if you ever came back here."

_If._ Rey felt a twinge in her chest. 

Rose fidgeted. She shot Rey a grimace.

"We would have crossed paths again," Rey assured Rose even as her throat tightened. She reached over and clasped Rose's hand. Absently, she was surprised Rose's hand was unexpectedly soft. 

"You were always in my thoughts. All of you."

Rose grinned. "Poe said you would be back because he was unforgettable."

"General Dameron thinks highly of himself," Rey snorted. 

At Rose's dimming smile, Rey gave Rose's hand a squeeze.

"What is it?"

Rose exhaled. Like Finn, she abruptly gave Rey one more hug before taking a step back. 

Before Rey left for Tatooine, she told Poe to make sure everyone knew she would never invade their minds. The step back was to remind both sides of it.

At the time, Rey hoped her promise would lift some of the shadows Poe couldn't hide. She hoped they would fade enough at some point to give him better sleep. 

Deep down, Rey knew it was also to remind herself to stop before she was tempted to take things a step too far and fall. There was no one left to keep her disciplined; it was up to her to ensure she stayed true to the way of the Jedi.

"I'm glad you're here," Rose murmured. She stroked the top of BeeBee's dome with both hands. "You too, BeeBee Ate."

BeeBee Ate cheerfully warbled back. 

Rey stood by the flaps of her tent and watched Rose leave. That little bolt was still in Rose's hair. It winked at Rey as Rose went deeper into the base. As Rose walked by, she greeted more faces Rey didn't know.

So many new faces. Rey sensed their curiosity about the Jedi in the lone tent by the water. Some projected fear, wondering what her presence meant. Others glowed relief a Jedi was here.

Rey took a deep breath. And another. 

The Force unfurled before Rey. A rush of feeling and thought and emotion crashed over her.

_…is that the Jedi?_

_I heard she was the one…_

_…she was the only one who lived…_

With a sharp inhale, Rey pushed the fragments into a mental box. The Force quieted. Its muted whispers lingered in the back of Rey's mind like the itchiness in the back of her neck. 

Rey ducked into the tent and left the jungle and the curiosity outside. She closed her eyes. She smelled the new fabric used for the shelter and the dewy musk of things that were left too long in the moist air.

There was a rug set in front of the tent back opening that faced the waterfall. Rey smiled at the patch of color that stood out from the endless green-gray that stretched over the ground. She could meditate in front of the rainbows. 

A sturdy cot was set up to one side of the tent, the charging station Rose mentioned was at the foot of the bed. On the opposite side, a crate stamped with old Alliance emblems served as a table. 

On top of the crate was a woven basket half the size of BeeBee's domed head. It was filled with a collection of dried meats and fruits of various shapes and sizes. It looked like it was delivered while Rose gave a perfunctory tour of the base.

_'Figured a snack was in order.'_

Poe's scratched out words was on a torn piece of flimsiplast in the bottom of the basket. Rey recognized his mechanical handwriting, straight like on schematics. He explained what each treat was and its origins. Below was Finn's scrawling script, commenting on which was good and which tasted like bantha crap.

The rug was vibrant; its colorful hues matched the basket. It reminded Rey of the kites on Pasaana. She took off her shoes and wiggled her toes into the thick weave. 

Ajan Kloss chittered around Rey with a tune Rey thought should have been familiar, but the lights around her were arranged all wrong. Her constellations changed and glowed in a way that made her insides churn. 

Nevertheless, Rey sat down, cross-legged on the rug to meditate. She stretched out her mind further into the Force, calling, listening, hoping.

_Be with me…_

BeeBee Ate stayed outside to alert Rey whenever Finn and Poe arrive for dinner.

No one came.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Kri—Are you kidding me with this?"_

_He looked up from his datapad, relieved at the interruption. Beaumont wrote painfully long reports. He understood the need to provide every detail; failure to do so meant a demerit or worse in the eyes of one's captain._

_However, he was still reading about the origins of the nomadic tribe Beaumont visited. Force, he hasn't even reached the part about meeting the informant yet._

_The smooth plating of an X-wing elevated on a repair ramp filled his view. He must have wandered into the landing field again while reading. It was lucky he didn't bump into anything._

_Well, luck or something else; he wasn't ready to think about that 'something else' yet._

_Another muttered curse drifted down. He shielded his eyes and cast them up to the popped canopy of the cockpit._

_Not again._

_"Rose?" he called out. He set aside his datapad on a nearby toolbox. After a check around him, he reluctantly undid his blaster's holster as well._

_"All right," he sighed. He spread his arms wide. "Come on."_

_But instead of Rose, Poe's grease smudged face peered over the cockpit._

_"Uh…" Poe's eyebrows disappeared into the unruly curls of his black hair. He grinned._

_"Hey, buddy. What's up—oh wait, that would be me."_

_He lowered his arms. He glared at Poe._

_"If Rose catches you tinkering without her again, I'm never going to hear—wait…Are you wearing your flight suit?"_

_Sure enough, when Poe stood up, the orange outfit emerged, the top half unzipped and tied around Poe's waist. His white tank clung to his torso with sweat and what looked like oil._

_He folded his arms, his insides flipped at the attire. It always has. It didn't help Poe looked good in anything or nothing—_

_His face and parts of him went hot. No, no, no, don't think about that._

_"You're out of uniform, General." He checked his left and right. He scowled._

_"And without your escort?" Now his blaster felt too far away._

_Poe rolled his eyes. "Finn, I don't need a chaperone to come with me to repair my fighter."_

_"Rose would disagree." He snickered at Poe's scowl. His humor faded when he studied Poe's flight suit._

_"You're not planning on taking a flight, are you?" His stomach clenched. "Poe?"_

_Poe frowned down at him. "And what if I was?"_

_He stepped closer to the X-wing. Ladder or no ladder, he was going up there to get the idiot down._

_"Poe, you know what Beaumont said—"_

_Poe held up his hands. "I promise. I wasn't planning to." He shrugged._

_"Just felt like wearing it again." Poe's mouth was twisted. "Wanted to see if it still fits."_

_"Exegol wasn't that long ago," he pointed out._

_"Are you sure?" Poe dropped out of sight when he slumped into the cockpit. "There are days when it felt like lifetimes ago."_

_His chest ached at Poe's heavy voice._

_"Some things change." He pressed a hand on the slope of the starfighter's nose. Someone painted it black and started etching in where the stripes would go. "But some things are still the same." Like how his body flushed all over whenever he saw Poe._

_"True." Poe's boots dangled over the edge of the cockpit. "The T-70s are still hard to upgrade past the fifth gear. Took me months to get Black One to hit eight cycles under ten seconds."_

_"Get down from there." Luckily no one was here to witness him smiling up goofily at Poe's boots swinging idly in the air._

_"Nope." Poe popped the last half of the word._

_Setting his jaw, he rapped on the plating._

_Sure enough, Poe yelped. His boots kicked wildly as he straightened out of his sprawl._

_"Watch the paint job!" Poe leaned over the cockpit. "Took me all night!"_

_That explained Poe's empty bed this morning and the new smudges under Poe's eyes._

_"Couldn't sleep again?"_

_Poe's eyes shuttered._

_"Like you said, Exegol's wasn't that long ago." Poe exhaled sharply. "Or Crait. Or—"_

_He tapped harder on the sleek surface._

_The shadows creeping up on Poe fled._

_"Stop that." Poe glowered. He was hanging halfway out of the cockpit now. The necklace and ring Poe wore around his neck dangled off the strong column of his neck like a pull string._

_One tug and he could bring Poe's mouth that much closer…_

_He cleared his throat._

_"Make me." He patted his front pocket. "I have a stylus and I'm not afraid to use it."_

_Poe narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't."_

_"Oh," he singsong as he knocked on the fighter, "Was that paint that flaked off?"_

_Poe groaned. "All right, all right. Help me down then. Someone took the ladder while I was up here."_

_"Probably one of Rose's baby techs again." He held up his hands to give Poe a foothold._

_Poe swung a leg out and over far too fast for his liking._

_"Careful."_

_"Actually, I think I can jump down from here." Poe hung off the edge of the cockpit by his hands, knees bending to ready for a leap far too high for safety._

_"Watch it!" He straightened arms, raising his hands higher…_

_…and clamped them over Poe's ass._

_"Kriff!"_

_It wasn't clear who yelped. His hands automatically twitched._

_Unfortunately, they were still on Poe's—stars, it was firm, wait, what was he doing, catch him!_

_Poe choked a sound, most likely not expecting to be grabbed er, there. He flailed and lost his grip._

_"Kriff!"_

_This time, he knew he was the one who said it. He tried to grab something other than Poe's butt to break his fall. They landed on the ground._

_Dust flew up in their wake._

_A valve dropped and bounced off his forehead._

_"I hope that wasn't anything crucial," Poe groaned. Poe was muffled with his face buried on his chest. Poe was held there by a death grip around his shoulders._

_He was aware of Poe's weight on him, one knee digging into his side, the other precariously close to the uncomfortable heat growing between his legs._

_"Poe, you okay?" he wheezed. "Because you're really heavy."_

_Poe wiggled—Force, don't think about that—as he sat up._

_His arms flopped out to his sides. He stared up at Poe straddling his hips._

_It felt he was on fire in all the inappropriate places._

_"I should be asking you…" Poe paused. He glanced down with an arched eyebrow._

_"It's my blaster," he said desperately. "I swear."_

_Poe's eyes drifted over to the toolbox where his datapad and holster lay._

_"Uh…" Poe's tongue swiped his lower lip. Poe flushed. "Uh…"_

_He managed a sound; it didn't sound dignified, though. It didn't help that Poe was astride his hips; it was tempting to surge up for some friction._

_"Big blaster," Poe managed. His mouth crooked, flattened, and curved again._

_Poe looked unsure if he wanted to smile. In fact, Poe appeared scared to._

_Carefully, he moved his hands to palm the back of Poe's thighs._

_"Maybe," he said breathlessly. "Maybe that's not my blaster?"_

_Poe's eyes widened a fraction. He ducked his head._

_"Oh," Poe murmured, his lips ticking up at the corners. Poe suddenly looked shy._

_He suddenly wanted to bite Poe's lower lip._

_"Oh," Poe repeated. The flush spread to his ears._

_Poe gazed down at him, his eyes darkening._

_Then, Poe shook his head._

_"No. Finn, we…we shouldn't." Poe pressed his lips together to prevent himself from saying anything more. Poe looked crushed._

_He kneaded the back of Poe's thighs, his hands digging into muscle. Poe exhaled sharply._

_"Finn," Poe said, strained. Poe's legs flexed under his touch._

_"I know we agreed we shouldn't," he murmured. "Yet. But if we can make us as generals work, don't you think we can try to make something else work?"_

_Poe's face contorted._

_"Finn. I…We…" Poe's eyes slid shut. Poe rocked back into his hands._

_Poe exhaled shakily._

_"I want to make this work. We can make this work, Poe." His hands moved up to Poe's hips. He smoothed a possessive hand over the curve of Poe's ass._

_"Can we?" Poe murmured, a little dazed, a lot hungry. "Finn."_

_It was a burst of energy in his chest, his own personal jump into hyperspace. He found himself crooking a finger on Poe's tank, pulling him down._

_Poe's ring spun by his chin. He smelled the bitter caf in Poe's exhales._

_"This…" Poe breathed. "This is a terrible idea, Finn."_

_"Terrible," he echoed. He pushed his shoulders off the ground with his elbows. Poe leaned in…_

_"Oh, this is awful!"_

_"Not really," Poe murmured, his breath tickling his upper lip. The voice registered. Poe jerked back._

_His head dropped to the ground. It didn't hurt as much as the ache when Poe climbed off._

_"Cee Threepio," he growled. He sat up to glare at the droid. "You have the worst—" He stopped short._

_Connix and Kin stood behind Threepio. Beaumont's nostrils flared, his fists curling and uncurling against his sides. Kaydel hugged a datapad to her chest. She looked like she was about to cry._

_"We intercepted some transmissions," Beaumont bit out. "Generals, you need to see this."_

+++

_…Where are you?_

Rey fell asleep, waiting. 

The Force sang in her mind, reeling in the thoughts and dreams around her like before. When she woke, she caught herself smiling for once, even as parts of Finn's dream faded. But when she glanced over to BeeBee Ate, humming and powered down in the station parallel to her cot, it didn't look like she received any incoming messages.

The rare pleasant feeling from the dream fled.

A few stretches shook off the rest of Rey's grogginess. But hunger gnawed in her belly. 

Rey was too accustomed to regular meals ever since she met Finn and Poe. She always found extra ration bars stuffed in pockets and sacks ever since she told Poe how someone tried to buy BeeBee Ate for sixty portions. She admitted she was tempted but only briefly. 

Poe nearly tackled Rey with his grateful hug. 

Ever since then, there was always food rifled away in the oddest places for her. Even Finn took to cramming his pockets with bits of food.

The basket Rey found yesterday was half-empty by the time Rose poked her head through the flaps. She grinned when Rey looked up sheepishly, her cheeks stuffed with sugared dates from the Bin-je markets.

"Sorry." Rey swallowed hastily. She was suddenly aware of how her braid and bun was lopsided, her sleeveless tunic horribly wrinkled. Rose was in her usual tan Maintenance uniform, but she looked pressed and poised compared to Rey.

"No. You made the right decision. You do not want what's in the Mess this morning," Rose explained with a face. "We're in between supply runs."

Rey shrugged. The eating area wasn't part of the tour yesterday. And the thought of wading through all those wide-eyed expressions staring at the Jedi…she'd rather go hungry.

"Special delivery." Rose handed over a basket. 

_'Sorry,'_ the note read in crooked loops and lopsided lines, _'Comm went late. Didn't want to wake you.'_

The curl of flimsi was tucked in another woven basket. This one was overflowing with blue plums. 

"What's that?" Rey nodded to what Rose held in her other hand. 

"Schematics for the new X-wing I told you about," Rose explained. "Faster. If we need to respond to another attack, we'll get there much quicker."

Rey scanned the side view of a wing. Her brow rose. "It's lighter."

"Faster," Rose repeated. "Burns less fuel, too. This time we can get there in time."

"In time for what?" Rey noted space was carved out under the copilot's seat. "What's this for?"

Rose stared long and hard at where Rey pointed.

"Medkit," Rose said, subdued. "With a remote surgical uplink and a plasma circulator."

Rey blinked. "Are you planning to provide medical relief as well?" She reviewed the plans. "Something as small as a BB unit would allow for such a kit, but with an R2 unit or an M3, it would take up too much space. A medpac would be better."

Rose shrugged. "There were concerns about overheating since we'd lose the gap space the X-wings rely on for cooling."

With a medkit that size, there was no room for air to circulate between an astromech droid and the circuitry in the copilot section.

"It's a fire risk," Rey told Rose. She frowned. She heard enough about fires in space to know she never wants to entertain the possibility. "Is this change necessary?"

"Yes," Rose said with surprising vehemence. "Yes, it is." Something flickered across Rose's face. She fidgeted back.

Rey pressed her lips together. She didn't ask again. Instead, she offered Rose a plum.

+++

Rey wasn't on Resistance bases long enough to know if what was going on around her was normal. There were so many people; strangers outnumbered familiar faces.

It turned out Rose oversaw their expanded Mech group. She went from a team of three when they attacked Exegol to a crew of twenty who only heard about Exegol in a HoloNet. 

Rey met up with Rose for lunch later that day. Rose complained over a lunch of meat rolls and sour root juice her technicians didn't know the difference between a fuel injector and an overflow coil. Rey listened as best she could. She tried to not think about how her message to Finn and Poe's datapads went unanswered.

"I mean," Rose said, tearing into a roll with her teeth, "One makes the speeder go, the other makes the speeder go boom. You'd think they would know the difference,"

Rey smiled, distracted, as she surveyed the small Mess—a tarp roof stretched between two half-shells of a light carrier to form the area. 

The scorched marks on the plating gave Rey an uneasy feeling. This was a ship used for war. Yet Rey sensed the people around her were more interested in how she once took down a TIE with a lightsaber. She caught two younglings talking about it in the queue for food. 

Rose abruptly offered to get both their meals if Rey could find them a table. Rey gratefully escaped before she heard enough of the recount to know if it was accurate or not.

As they ate, a few eyes lifted towards Rey and Rose. They dropped the moment Rey glanced over.

Their minds, however…

_…I don't believe it! It's really her._

_…-der if she'd turn on her lightsaber if I ask?_

_She doesn't look like a Jedi…_

Rey was acutely aware of her lightsaber hanging off her belt. She wished she took her staff instead, but the wooden staff marked her as a scavenger, not a Jedi.

"You're famous," Rose murmured, her face apologetic. She shifted over, eclipsing some of the stares.

"It's fine." Rey pinched a meat roll between her fingers. It felt like everyone was watching to see if she'll eat it or float it up to her mouth first.

"It's rude," Rose said bluntly. And loud enough, eyes whipped back to his or her food. "Word got around the Jedi Rey returned."

Rey rolled a morsel of food around her plate. She stiffened her spine against the curiosity pressing down on her. She wished she knew what they were looking for; what kind of Jedi they were expecting.

"Sorry," Rose said all the sudden. When Rey looked her way, Rose squirmed. "Finn and Poe…they wanted to have lunch with you, but everybody has constantly been demanding their attention."

"They're both generals now," Rey said. "I understand." She made a face. "But all I kept hearing is 'General Dameron' this and 'General Dameron' that."

"It's because you hear General Dameron a lot more on the HoloNet."

Rey scoffed. "Maybe if he didn't do so many recruitment broadcasts."

"Saw those, huh?" Rose snickered. "Finn said they argued about it for days when Maz first suggested it. Finn thought it was a great idea until Maz said it must be them both. Poe threatened to do the broadcasts in the nude unless Finn did them with him."

Root juice burned when swallowed the wrong way. Rey sputtered at Rose's grin.

"He did not. I definitely would have seen that." Rey shook her head. "Finn did the broadcasts? I must have missed them."

"No, Poe balked when Maz told him that actually wasn't such a bad idea."

Oh Force. 

Rey clamped a hand over her mouth before she laughed too hard and destroy whatever idea these fresh faces around the base have of a proper Jedi. She cleared her throat and offered Rose a quirked eyebrow.

Rose shared no such misgivings. She beamed back; her eyebrows rose high in challenge.

"You can't tell me you disagree."

Rey smirked. Rose laughed in an open way Rey haven't heard in a while.

"Where is Maz?"

"She comes and goes." Rose gestured to the Mess. "She's using her connections to spread the word about the end of the First Order. She was here last week." She snickered. "And ran a Sabacc tournament in the Mess."

"Finn and Poe didn't stop it?"

"Said it was good for morale." Rose grinned. "Although Finn suspected Poe wanted to make up for the fiasco with the Red survey team. Took them all day to clear out that foam." She cleared her throat at Rey's blank look. "It's uh…it's a funny story." 

Rey smiled, shrugging as her eyes lowered. She pretended to contemplate the various tiny meat rolls left on her plate as the awkward silence stretched between them. Finn and Poe sent her off to Tatooine with crates of different nutritional portions, but there was something about freshly made food in their shapes and sizes that fascinated her.

"Try those." Rose pointed to the fat golden rolls speckled with seeds. "Poe asked Mess to make these. He said you would find them interesting. Spice biscuits, but not, you know, that kind of spice."

They were interesting. They were gritty; the seeds burst into random blooms of bitter, sweet, and tangy on her tongue.

Rey popped the last morsel in her mouth. She'd have to remember getting these later if there were any left. Her eyes cast about, but only two were familiar faces. None were the ones she sought.

"You'd think they would have time for a cup of caf," Rey muttered. 

"Another transmission." Rose rolled her eyes. "This one was the furthest we received from the colonies. Everyone's scrambling to have a seat in the reformed Galactic Senate. And they all have reasons why others shouldn't." 

"This one nearly blew out our only satellite until a few droids hooked up into the command center to boost the signal." Rose made a face. "Insisted they needed to speak to 'General Dameron' right now."

Rey ignored the twist in her belly. She'd hoped Finn would have at least stopped by. She wasn't sure where BeeBee Ate went either. The droid was missing this morning.

"Maybe dinner?" Rose suggested. Her face, however, suggested it was unlikely, though.

"Maybe," Rey murmured. She tamped down the urge to stretch out her senses. There was an odd gap, a weakening echo, at the edges of her mind. Muted, existing out of sheer stubbornness. She wanted to poke at it and see how it flare in the Force.

But it might not flare. It might quiet further, slipping away silent despite her pleas to _be with me_.

"You okay?" Rose asked tentatively. She inquired behind her mug of root juice, her gaze worried and unsure as it lingered on Rey.

"Of course." Rey offered Rose a faint smile as she plucked a somewhat lumpy, orange square of meat. She took a bite. Her eyes widened.

Rose winced. "Poe kept insisting Mess make them. I don't know why. Finn's the only one who likes them."


	3. Chapter 3

_The blaster's shot whizzed past his ear. The hair on his right temple smoked._

_"Kriff!"_

_Finn went from blank-faced, holding his blaster to a look of horror in the time it took to register the shot's whine._

_"Morning?" he hedged from his sprawl on the floor by Finn's cot. He cupped the side of his head. He grimaced._

_"Poe!"_

_Finn's blaster dropped. Finn leaped out of his cot and crouched by him._

_Their tent was breezy now, thanks to the new hole in the tarp. At least it soothed the heat Finn's probing fingers felt as they explored his hair._

_"You said I needed a haircut," he tried to joke, but Finn abruptly pushed his head down to his knees to check the back of his neck. He found himself staring at Finn's bare feet. Okay, this is awkward now._

_"I'm sorry, I thought, I mean, I thought—Force, Poe, if you hadn't duck…"_

_He didn't. He froze at the blaster to his face, remembering too late their unspoken rule: a quiet voice and an even softer touch to wake each other._

_At the last moment, Finn's blaster jerked to the side. The shot sizzled past him and through their tent instead._

_Finn's hands all over him were both pleasant and torture. Sadly, he can intimately tell the difference._

_"It's fine," he tried. Finn suddenly has too many hands. Why was Finn checking behind his ears now? "I forgot. I went to wake you and forgot—Finn, Finn, I'm fine, I didn't get hit."_

_Finn finally relented._

_"I…" Finn rocked back on his heels. His hand wiped over the sweat on his upper lip. "I almost…"_

_"Hey," he said to Finn. "This makes us even, all right?" The smile felt weird on his face. Judging the pained look Finn gave him, he wasn't convincing either._

_"Two days ago, I almost broke your jaw when you tried to wake me." He couldn't remember the nightmare. But whatever Finn overheard in the next tent must have been bad. The next night, Finn dragged his cot into his tent and declared he was moving in._

_Finn stared blearily at him._

_"You barely bruised me. I shot at you. By my math, I owe you five more punches."_

_"Make it three, and you've got yourself a deal."_

_"Poe."_

_He shook his head. "We've talked about this. Remember? The fighting may have stopped, but the war isn't over in here."_

_He reached over and settled a hand over Finn's racing heart. Finn's shirt was damp with sweat._

_Finn covered his hand with his own._

_"Thank Force, you throw weak punches, and I'm a bad shot," Finn rasped._

_He snorted. He didn't pull his hand away. The heat from Finn's body and hand sandwiched his own hand with a warmth that flowed into the rest of his body._

_"Terrible shot," he murmured. "But maybe stop sleeping with that blaster under your pillow, too?" He felt Finn's hand twitch._

_"It was a dream, Finn. A reoccurring one because you lack the imagination to think up another one."_

_Finn shot him a half-hearted scowl. "Dreaming I was too late to save Rey or you," Finn's hand curled painfully tight over his on his chest, "I don't need to imagine more ways I could fail."_

_He exhaled. "You didn't fail. I'm here. Our scrawny Jedi is making sand dune houses on Tatooine with my droid."_

_"I know it's only been a few days, but I miss her." Finn pulled his hand to tuck against his stomach. His breathing calmed._

_"Me too," he murmured. "I told you it's okay if you wanted to go with Rey, Finn. I would've understood."_

_"Trying to get rid of me, General?" Finn joked weakly. "That was quick. You didn't even let me buy you dinner first."_

_He rolled his eyes, but he couldn't stop himself from flushing because now he was very aware of the fact they were in their sleep clothes. Finn wore his old shirt from his Navy days. Not that it fitted Finn better. The worn gray fabric stretched across his chest, his nipples straining against the material because even though Ajan Kloss was a jungle planet, it's bitter cold in the mornings._

_"You," he stammered. He forced himself to stare at Finn's face instead. Kriff, it didn't help the problem between his legs either. Why did Finn have to look good in everything?_

_"You already bought me dinner."_

_Finn scowled. "Last night at the Mess doesn't count, especially since you didn't finish it."_

_It was the closest they would talk about their sleepless nights, Finn's personal patrols around their base before he could sleep or how food sometimes tasted like death._

_He dropped a hand on Finn's tensed shoulder. He felt it relax._

_He kneaded Finn's shoulder, the one where the end of a lightsaber scar curled resentfully on the joint. Finn sighed and sat down on the tent floor, his back to him now._

_He obliged by digging hard into the knots on both shoulders._

_"That's good," Finn exhaled. "Force, keep doing that and forget dinner, I'll promote you to Admiral, Poe."_

_He snorted as he rotated his elbow into the crook of Finn's neck. He was rewarded with Finn's guttural groan that pooled into silken heat in the pit of his stomach._

_He chuckled nervously, his voice a little too high-pitched to be anything but obvious._

_"You know that's not how ranks work, buddy."_

_"Another back rub like the one you gave me last time, I'll go down on one knee and propose."_

_The chain around his neck was suddenly heavier and lighter at the same time. Finn was joking, of course. He sounded sleepy. Good, Finn needed more sleep, everyone did, but nevertheless, he blurted out the first thing in his mind._

_"Not unless I propose first."_

_Finn stilled under his hands. He turned around, deliberately, his eyes automatically found his._

_"Poe," Finn murmured. His gaze drifted from his face to his throat, his mouth curving into a smile and they said they wouldn't do this, not yet, but Finn moved a warm palm into the open slit of his neckline, caressing his collarbone, his finger stroking the chain around his neck._

_"Poe, Poe, Poe," Finn murmured as if he was saying, "Mine, mine, mine."_

_Finn's touch sank into his skin and he couldn't stop himself from arching his neck, exposing the vulnerable jugular to Finn. He heard Finn sucked in his breath._

_Eager fingers traced his throat. He uttered a sound, a word, or maybe it was a plea. Or protest. Or…_

_Finn pulled him in closer and he fell forward, unresisting. He watched Finn lean into him, his heart hammering, mouth parting, head spinning as he swayed closer to Finn—_

_A flustered Connix stumbled into their tent. Beaumont Kin's tent next door somehow caught on fire._

_Oops._

+++

_'Sorry about dinner last night.'_

Poe's technical print finished sloppily at the last word. It was on a torn piece from an old star chart, a contrast to the clutter of data chips and a datapad in yet another colorful woven basket. It was left outside her tent. 

The gift greeted her good morning, along with a double rainbow outside and a basket of fruit and various breads.

The gift amused Rey. But she was disappointed no one came with these items rather than leave them in front of her tent. The wide, deep furrow in the dirt suggested a droid delivered them, but when Rey called out, BeeBee Ate didn't chirp a reply.

The data chips were burnt at the connectors, but after a cleaning, they sorted out. When Rey tried one chip, it turned out to be a contraband holonovel from the days of the Empire, written by an anonymous author Rey suspected was a Rebel.

The novel was horribly written. Rey could hear Poe narrating it in exaggerated voices with BeeBee Ate, providing high pitched sound effects. 

Poe did that once, in a freighter, inside a dark moon as they waited for an informant. The informant never showed; Poe was in a bad mood after. Later, Finn confessed to Rey he tried to find more novels like the one Poe read; the First Order wasn't interested in what they regarded as 'propaganda fiction.' But they were never the same without Poe's theatrics.

"That one's good."

Rey looked up and grinned.

Finn crouched by her tent's front entrance, one hand on a flap to keep it from hitting his head. He was back in his long-sleeve cream-colored tunic and vest he salvaged from the bloody shreds of one of Poe's old jackets. It was a lost cause after a messy mission to Anout. 

It was good to see Finn dressed as Finn again. Rey's earlier annoyance fled.

"From Poe." Rey lifted the datapad for show. She gestured to the ground at the chips littered about her feet. 

Finn groaned. "I kept telling him some were not worth wasting a power charge to open."

Rey slanted a smirk at Finn. "Read quite a few of these, have you?"

Finn rubbed a hand behind his neck.

"Most of them I got from Poe," Finn mumbled.

Rey scoffed. "General Dameron's a bad influence on you."

A wince crossed Finn's face.

Rey leaned in and took Finn's hand.

Finn smiled wearily at Rey. He turned his hand over to intertwine their fingers.

"How are you?" Rey murmured. She studied Finn, thinking back to the dream. She wanted to ask if he slept well, but the red-rimmed eyes were answers enough.

"I'm fine," Finn said quickly.

"That's a Poe answer," Rey retorted. "Try again."

"Okay then," Finn shot back with unusual bluntness, "How are _you_?"

Rey stilled.

Finn shook his head.

"Sorry. Sorry, last night was…Sorry." 

Finn squeezed Rey's hand as if he was afraid she would pull away. In truth, she was too stunned to.

"Glad you're here," Finn told Rey. "We've missed you." 

Rey wanted to point out if they did miss her, they wouldn't have made themselves scarce. Her words ran around in her mind. She chose the least offensive one.

"I'm fine," Rey answered at last. "I'm…processing. But I'm okay. After all, I'm not busy running a Resistance. Or trying to fix a galaxy."

Finn exhaled. "Are we? Sometimes it doesn't feel like it."

"You two are busy enough to show for it." Rey nodded towards the baskets by the rug. "This is the most I've seen of Poe so far."

A blow slammed Rey, right over her heart— _hold on, hold on_ —but it vanished so quickly after. She thought she imagined it, but the bile taste in the back of her throat contradicted that.

Rey glanced up. She caught Finn looking away.

"You're blocking me." Rey pulled her hand away. Her stomach twisted, but she offered Finn a smile anyway. 

"At least you learned that lesson from me." 

"We've been practicing."

"We?" Rey studied Finn's face. "You and Poe. So, Poe knows you're…"

Finn wiggled his hand in the air once again. He shook his head.

"But I mentioned you were trying to teach me about blocking. He said he wanted to learn."

_Needed_ was left unsaid.

Rey's throat squeezed tight. 

"You and Poe know I would never," Rey rasped.

Finn's eyes widened. This time, he was the one who grabbed her hand with both of his.

"No, no, of course not," Finn said immediately. "It's more for…for just in case…"

"What for? There's no one," Rey said, more bitterly than she should. "I'm the only one."

"That we know of."

Rey glanced up.

Finn's mouth twisted in an attempt of a smile, but he couldn't pull it off. Not really. Not when his normally expressive brown eyes were dull.

"If an ex-Stormtrooper like me can be Force-sensitive, who knows how many more are out there?"

Rey mentally shook her head. What good was it? There was no one left to teach them except the dusty Jedi books she stowed in her light freighter. 

"Better than searching for moldy old Jedi temples by yourself," Finn prodded. 

"I like moldy old temples," Rey grumbled. "And I was with BeeBee Ate." 

Rey narrowed her eyes.

"You sound like you're trying to get rid of me. I just got here," Rey said lightly, but her belly knotted at the thought.

Finn squeezed her hand once more. Rey caught a flicker of that breath-stealing _thump_ again.

_Shouting, helpless, why can't we fix this—_

_Hold on…hold on…_

And just like that, it was gone again.

"What is it?" Rey repeated. She sat up straighter. "Is it you and Poe?" She pressed her mouth together. 

Finn shook his head even as he pulled his hands free.

"Sir?"

A soft-cheeked lieutenant poked his head in. His silver hair was shorn close to his long skull, his overly large yellow eyes suggested only one humanoid parent. However, he was recognizably nervous. 

Irritation lined Finn's brow. He breathed deep but didn't turn around.

"Is it Kan again?" Finn asked over his shoulder.

"No sir, it's adjunct Senator Voyas. He's requesting an audience."

"Requesting," Finn muttered darkly. "So much for lunch." To the lieutenant, he asked, "Is Neelsy there yet?"

"I-I uh offered to get him but was told there was no need."

"He's there? Without Neelsy?" Finn interrupted sharply.

Rey blinked.

"Voyas was insistent he needed to be heard immediately, sir. Even Cee Threepio said he was the most unpleasant man he's ever encountered, but we need him guaranteeing safe passage through his system—"

Finn exhaled slowly. "No, that's with the regent in the Quarsian system. Voyas promised to sign the petition."

"Oh." The lieutenant tapped furiously into his datapad to make the corrections.

"Stars, I miss Connix," Finn muttered under his breath, but Rey heard him. Finn shot Rey an apologetic grimace. His lips pressed thin and shaped into a smile his eyes didn't echo.

"Go." Rey waved him off. "We'll talk later." 

Finn walked hunched out the tent. The slouch didn't go away even after he exited the tent.

"Get Neelsy," Finn ordered. He started walking faster towards the direction of the mountain and the command center. 

"But he said—"

"I don't care what he said. Not after the morning he just had. Go get Neelsy." 

Rey frowned. Finn was unfairly short with the lieutenant. She watched through the flaps of her tent as Finn's stride grew longer and longer. He looked like he was running but trying hard not to appear so.


	4. Chapter 4

_Idiots._

_She sighed, careful not to let her voice modulator pick it up._

_She thought Dameron was dumb before—kriffing brilliant with anything that flies—but it looked like the promotion took a few more smart credits off General Dameron._

_Finn loomed over Poe. His hand hovered a hair's breadth over Poe's shoulder._

_Poe looked like he either wanted to lean into Finn's hand or jump into hyperspace to escape._

_"…should probably arrange to meet with Kan since he was allied with Regas and Hiz the longest."_

_If only Finn would decide if he wanted his hand on Dameron's shoulder or not, they could end this ridiculous space opera._

_She was tempted to trip the ex-Stormtrooper and see how Poe reacts to the guy in his lap. Probably liven up this morning briefing._

_"We have a block of time this afternoon. Right after the Commerce briefing, we have forty-two minutes. Or tomorrow, there's a two-hour block of time after Blue team's survey debriefing." Connix responded without consulting her datapad. Then she dashed off to do whatever Ops and General assistants do._

_Connix's voice must have reminded the two how close they were because they twitched apart. Poe stayed seated whereas Finn casually sat down in a stool. Next to Poe._

_She rolled her eyes within the privacy of her helmet._

_Poe shot her a look. Huh. Maybe Dameron has some of that Force stuff he kept preaching about._

_"Why am I here again?" she complained. "It wasn't for those weird meat squares."_

_She gestured to the plate of squarish looking dumplings. The stuff tasted like day-old jerky peeled off the bottom of a boot._

_Finn glanced down at his plate. It was empty._

_"I like those meat squares," Finn said longingly as he tapped his plate, searching for one that might have slipped past his radar._

_Poe nudged his untouched plate over as he reached for a datapad. Finn studied the offered food. He threw a frown at Poe, who stared at his datapad with unusual intensity._

_"Zorii. You were a smuggler," Finn started, delicately._

_"Spice runner," she corrected because kriff, polite was never profitable. She pointed to Poe, who fidgeted._

_"At least your hair's better now," she told Poe. Finn looked intrigued. Poe looked like he wanted to dissolve into the tent floor. "And I wasn't all that crazy about the earring—"_

_"You have the best run through the Kresbah hyperlane." Poe squirmed, sensing Finn's bemusement boring into the side of his head. Guess Dameron hasn't shared Kijimi yet._

_"So?" she drawled. "The Resistance is legit now. Don't tell me you want me to steal something? Shouldn't all those old Republic buddies be falling over your feet, offering you free stuff?"_

_"I wish," Poe muttered. Finn shot Poe another frown. "They're too busy telling us how things were done before and kriffing fight each other over every suggestion. And they expect us to keep the peace and with Rey gone—"_

_"Everyone's trying to figure things out." Finn poked Poe's plate back to him. Poe ignored it. "It's only been a few weeks. There are parts of the galaxy who think we're still at war."_

_Or should be. There were a few backwater planets she'd rather burn extra fuel to fly around. Better than stay a minute with some of the First Order groupies singing their 'humans only' cleansing garbage._

_"So you want me to do what? Convince people?" she scoffed. She knew it came out harsh through her voice modulator, but whatever. "I'm not in this gig to wave a flag and record a few propaganda holos."_

_"We need you to run through the hyperlanes. Test them, even the ones not on any official chart. Route the best ones, the quickest ones." Poe stared at her in that unnerving, intense way. It was like he could see through her mask._

_She wondered where Dameron learned that. It wasn't with them. Poe was busy learning how to make lightspeed jump calculations in his head. Stars, Deeks got a stiff one every time Dameron did that. Most pilots relied on an astromech, but those droids squawk if it was for lightspeed skipping._

_Her chest clenched. Deeks was on Kijimi when the First Order scum blasted the frozen hunk of ice. She tried to get the aging pilot to leave, but he only shoved Babu Frik to her, told her to take his ship and get off the kriffing planet._

_"Zorii?"_

_Finn seemed to have learned the same creepy, intense stare from Poe. He leaned towards her, brow furrowed, and he looked so earnest, yea, she can see why Poe was so gone on him._

_"Hyperlanes," she said. She gestured at the two. "Thinking of making a break for it?" She chuckled. "Dash off to your honeymoon?"_

_Poe did that same skewering stare thing again._

_She stopped laughing._

_"We're trying to create escape routes. The fastest way to get to anyone who needs us. The fastest way to evacuate anyone."_

_Damn it, Dameron's learned a new skill there; his voice was severe, angry yet not at the same time. She found herself sitting taller from the sound of his voice, believing because he believed._

_"Escape routes?" She wondered if it has anything to do with everybody wearing their blasters everywhere on the base. She wondered if it has anything to do with Kin leaving the generals' tent at all hours._

_"Could have sworn the war's over, boys."_

_Poe uttered a harsh sound deep in his throat._

_"We know," Finn said. "It's in case someone doesn't believe it yet."_

_Finn exchanged a look with Poe. Something passed between them. And Dameron reacted with a grimace and a fury that punched her in the gut to see. It wasn't directed at Finn. Or her. But she doubted the rest of the galaxy was spared, including himself._

_Suddenly, they weren't idiots anymore. And nothing was funny._

_She cleared her throat, once again making sure her modulator didn't mangle the sound. She faced the two men, took off the top part of her mask so they could see her staring back at them. And that she was no longer laughing._

_"Consider it done, Generals."_

+++

There was only so much meditation Rey could do even with the waterfall's rainbows. She's used to BeeBee Ate chirping and beeping by her every day for all these months. The droid's absence hurt.

The tent was comfortable even though it was smaller than the AT-AT wreckage that was her home for so long in Jakku. There was also a leather loop that hung from the roof by the entrance where she could hang her staff. 

Rey unclipped her lightsaber. She glanced outside. 

Lunch was about to be served in the Mess. Maybe Rose would be there. Or Finn and Poe.

Rey straightened her braid and patted her bun on top of her head back into shape. She studied her staff and lightsaber.

The buzzing hummed along the fringes of her awareness. 

In the Landabar system, Rey explored a site that turned out to be a temporary temple hidden from the Empire's eyes, where Jedis could meditate in relative safety.

Buried in volcanic rock, Rey found a plain box carved out of crimson wood, not native to the planet. There were no seams; it opened like a starving flower when she hovered her palm over any side. The box was simple inside as it was outside. 

It hummed under Rey's touch. There was a moment Rey thought the Jedi would materialize to speak with her.

They did not.

Rey kept her lightsaber in the box, only wearing her hilt when she explored, and never in town. To anyone she meets, she was Rey the scavenger and her BB unit. 

Until Finn and Poe's transmissions stopped and she returned as Rey the Jedi.

The gravity on Ajan Kloss was suitable for humanoids, but her lightsaber seemed to drag her towards the planet's crust the longer it hung off her belt. She stored it in its box and buried it at the bottom of the large green basket used to hold her soiled clothing. 

It was a beautiful tent. It was a space built for when and if she'd ever return before they move to wherever permanent base would be.

If.

Rey stroked the knobby bit on her staff that she couldn't whittle off. She missed her old quarterstaff. The remaining pieces she didn't use for her lightsaber were wrapped and tucked into the storage crate with the Jedi texts. Rose offered to help her unpack the containers into her tent.

Except this didn't feel like Rey's tent, no matter how nice it was. She didn't choose the spot by the water. She didn't put the rug down on this spot. She didn't plan where everything went.

This was a tent made for Rey Skywalker, by people who created the space in hopes of her return. The tent was made to be a home for a Jedi.

She was gone for three months. The world changed without her. And she changed out of sync. 

Rey came back when she went too long without a comm. She hoped returning here would remind her why she followed her Jedi path.

Instead, it only reminded her she left.

Her fingernail dug into the knot.

A thin _crack_ rang out. A fissure ran down the length of her staff.

"Oh no," Rey muttered. She examined it; her mouth pursed. 

After a moment, Rey relaxed. A sealant and a bit of pressure courtesy of the Force should fix it. She'll get sealant, food, and return to the relative solitude of the tent. She'll repair her staff like she's done many times before.

With a purpose in mind, Rey unwound from her folded position and left her tent.

+++

Ajan Kloss was exactly as Rey remembered it: lush with so much green, it made her eyes blur. But everything was moved around. The brief time she stayed after Exegol left a map in her mind. Now the map was all wrong.

There were the occasional pops of shuttle gray or clusters of muddy colored tents. Rey elbowed past a thicket of vines and trees only to be startled by patches of cleared space for training the continuous flow of volunteers. 

The base spread out, claiming parts of the thick green and one of the mountains as their central nervous system. The foot of the mossy rock was ringed with caverns, carved out in an orderly pattern that wrapped around the entire circumference. 

Medbay was no longer in the cave located in the back of the primary forest clearing once used as their central gathering. It was now on the foot of the mountain. They also moved the officers' quarters into the smaller caverns carved out of the other side of the mountain they adopted.

Rey wondered if Finn and Poe debated making Ajan Kloss their permanent base after all. It was a prospect that held some appeal. It was familiar enough. 

But no, Rey caught snatches of conversations as she wandered by. Survey teams arrived; others departed in their place. There was a Topography team to study whatever the Survey teams bring back. 

The thought of so many new groups was staggering. Rey remembered a time when the Resistance consisted of Ops, Missions, Command, and Medical. Now there were chains of commands, a hierarchy she was unaccustomed and uncomfortable with.

Rey missed simple. She missed the clear path unfurled before her: train, stay in the Light, save her cherished friends.

Her path was muddled now, in a way that reminded her of the new unmarked trails of the base. Even the road to Finn and Poe's tent was obscured. They moved into one of the larger caverns at the bottom of the mountain. It was next to the medbay and command center. It was much further than she expected. They never mentioned it or explained why. 

At Tatooine, she relied on their flickering presence; place markers in case she ultimately succumbs to her bloodline and loses her way in the Force. It was pleasant background noise like BeeBee Ate cooing and chirping somewhere close by. 

Rey thought their presence would be stronger now that she's returned. Perhaps all this newness disquieted her more than she expected. 

"Look what the Force blew in."

Rey grinned as a statuesque figure clad in red and gold strode through the jungle like the trees didn't exist.

"Zorii Bliss," Rey greeted.

"Hey, Jedi," Zorii returned. "Kill any Sith lately?"

Rey kept the smile on her face. It felt wrong on her face, though. She sensed Zorii suspected because she changed the topic in her usual curt way.

"Heard you and Dameron's droid landed. You here for good?"

Rey grimaced. "Passing through."

Zorii shrugged. "Me too."

"Still charting hyperlanes?" _Stars._ Rey clamped her mouth shut.

Zorii, however, was unfazed. 

"Heard about that, huh?" Zorii lifted her shoulders again. "Nope. All finished. That was a waste of my skills. No, picking up a few things for the Resistance."

Rey canted her head. It sounded like a waste of Zorii's skills as well.

"Zorii!" Rose bade from somewhere in the jungle. "Don't forget the bac—"

"Bacta purifiers, I know, I know," Zorii sighed. "Want to scribe it on my helmet, Tico?"

Rose said something Rey couldn't catch, but Zorii scoffed.

"That's a tall order. I'll see what Babu Frik and I can find."

Zorii turned back to Rey.

"Any requests, Jedi? The black market's going to be iffy once those senators figure out the currency fiasco."

"Black market?" Rey's brow knitted. "Why would we need black markets anymore?"

"Black markets are useful," Zorii said as she walked past. "If you don't want the galaxy to know what you're buying." She gave Rey a jaunty salute.

"Don't be a stranger, Jedi."

"Zorii—" Rose called out. A bush quivered beyond Zorii.

"I know," Zorii exasperated. "Bacta purifiers. Kriff, I know!"

Rey tracked Zorii as she traveled deeper into the jungle, steering for the landing area. She raised a hand farewell to Zorii, but she was already gone.

Zorii's dream lingered warmly in Rey, but it also left a renewed buzzing under her skin. She didn't know Zorii for long, but she felt disappointed Zorii couldn't stay.

Rose popped out of the jungle with a grin. 

"Finished reading all those trashy holonovels already?"

Rey grinned back. "There were so many."

Rose scoffed. "Did you read the one about the amnesiac space pirate and the princess yet?"

Rey blinked. "Uh, no?"

"Don't. Finn's the only one who liked it. Well, him and Co—" Rose shook her head. There was no bolt poking out of her knots of hair today. 

Rey glanced around. With a pang, it occurred to her she never noticed the ops officer wasn't around. She remembered Connix after Exegol, limping around while everyone celebrated.

"Is Connix all right?" Rey recalled Finn's unintentional comment. 

"She's fine," Rose said hurriedly, but her eyes were overly bright when she said it. Rey wasn't sure if she wanted to interpret what it could possibly mean. 

The jungle's natural symphony returned as they fell into silence. Rey heard Rose's charges tinkering away behind them. A few heads popped up, eyed Rey curiously, gaping when recognition sank in.

"H-hey," one of them sputtered, "Aren't you…?"

Rose's wide smile turned into a scowl. She looked over her shoulder at a cluster of brown vested techs behind her.

"Why do I smell burning?" Rose demanded.

A young voice stammered in reply.

Rey's staff bumped against her hip. The sealant didn't sound like a good idea anymore.

But Rey's a Jedi. She should carry her lightsaber, not hide it in a basket of clothes. Should she have worn robes as well? She bought a set of robes in a market on the third planet she visited. The Jedi temple proved to be not a temple at all. She purchased the robes, so the trip wasn't a complete waste. 

Rey tried it on and stared at her reflection on a lake. The hood hid her face, the fabric fluttered down to her boots. She looked like a Jedi, a proper Jedi, and yet, the robes felt wrong. She shoved them at the bottom of her travel satchel and haven't clapped her eyes on them since.

"So ah…" Rose began. The grass crunched under Rose's boots when she shifted her weight from left to right. "I was going to drop by for breakfast, but _someone_ here decided he knew how to fix an F34 land speeder with the wrong bonding tape."

Behind Rose, a voice mumbled an apology.

"I was coming to see if you have sealant." Rey wanted to yank her tunic's hood over her head. She extended the staff clutched in her hand. 

"Wow." Rose grimaced after a cursive examination of the damage. "I don't think sealant or bonding tape will do the job."

"I was also going to …" Rey wiggled a hand towards her staff. "Maybe."

"You were going…to what? Going to dance with it?"

Rey was startled into a giggle. She glanced up. 

Rose smirked. She shrugged.

A vise eased around Rey's chest. She met Rose's amused eyes.

"Something like that," Rey murmured.

"The sealant?" Rose prompted. "I could come by later with something that might work if you want."

"It's fine. I can fix this." Rey shrugged. "I don't have anything better to do."

Rose's smile wavered. "Oh. Sure." She kicked the ground under her. 

"Saw Zorii Bliss. Pity Zorii couldn't stay." Rey glanced at Rose curiously. "Why do you need her to buy bacta tank parts in the black market?"

Rose fidgeted. "Trying to build one, but it's harder than we thought. Medical devices are proprietary; blueprints aren't common."

"Wouldn't it be easier just to buy one?" 

Rose darkened. "You would think."

Rey glanced over her shoulder to the direction Zorii left. Her brow knitted.

"Rose," Rey said slowly, "Why do you need Zorii to buy things in the black markets? What's going on?"

A wave of unease reached Rey. She narrowed her eyes, but before she could explore it, an image of a thick wall of duraplast slammed down.

The ill ripple smoothed out into nothing.

"You're blocking me." Rey threw Rose a hurt look. "I wasn't going to pry. Not like that. That's not what Jed—that's not what I would do."

"I wasn't…" Rose appeared distressed. "Sorry, they told us we needed to shield ourselves—"

"Who's 'they?' You mean Finn and Poe?" Rey's stomach clenched. "Why did they tell you to block me? I would never—" 

Rose did an odd dance in place. She made a sound between her teeth.

"No, no, it's not that," Rose stammered, "Finn and Poe were worried that—"

"Worried?" Rey felt a pang in her chest. "Worried about what?"

Rose dug fingers into her hair. A coil unraveled and unfurled like an ebony ribbon on her left shoulder.

"Maybe you should talk to them," Rose said finally.

Behind Rose, something sparked. A thin column of smoke billowed out from the trees. Someone yelped.

"I better…" Rose gave Rey a grimace.

"Go." Rey smiled tightly. "It's fine."

"Rey." Rose stared at her, her eyes pleading.

The smile on Rey's face felt like it cracked her skin, but she kept it on. 

Rose still stared at Rey with those huge eyes, though.

"I'll talk to them. It's…it's fine." 

Rose gazed at Rey. She sighed and nodded before she turned back to her fledging crew.

"Yes," Rose said tightly. It was a miracle she wasn't shouting. "Keep doing it exactly that way. You don't need all your fingers."

Rey left as the crew around Rose stuttered apologies over each other.

+++

"Master, I mean, Jedi Master Skywalker. Or is it Master Jedi? Sorry to bother you…"

"Jedi is fine. And it's all right. You're not bothering me," Rey said for what felt like the tenth time. 

The Abednedo youngling stared up at Rey with his round black eyes, nostril slits flapping rapidly in nerves. He wore the orange jumpsuit of a pilot.

"Jedi Rey," the pilot corrected himself, not noticing Rey's flinch. "We were wondering…"

We?

Rey glanced behind the Abednedo. She inwardly cringed. There was a cluster of pilots, human and not, all staring over with the same open-mouthed, wide-eyed awe that made her detour twice to avoid. Unfortunately, her revised path led her straight into what appeared to be a makeshift training ground for one of the X-wing squadrons.

The Abednedo continued in faltering Basic. Rey was distantly aware the pilot was asking questions about the _Millennium Falcon_. She replied, choosing her words carefully because every response made the Abednedo's eyes widen more than his biology should make it possible.

"…so do you fly with the controls, or do you, um, do your Jedi thing?"

Apparently, Rey's willingness to answer the Abednedo emboldened the others. A humanoid with gray eyes and a shock of white hair squeezed past the crowd surrounding Rey.

"My Jedi thing?" Rey repeated blankly. She pasted a smile on her face. It felt ill-fitting, but hopefully appropriate. 

"That's not how the Force works," Rey said lamely. _Please don't ask me to explain._

It appeared to be enough, though. The crowd nodded solemnly and Force, they accepted her words as gospel, enthralled like an emperor to his subjects—

"I mean," Rey tried to say, but the pilots already enthusiastically thanked her and fled. 

Rey stared after them, dismayed, her stomach sinking. Should she have said something else? Something more solemn? Did she sound dismissive?

"Tell me," Rey murmured. _Be with me…_ She cast her eyes about. 

No flicker or glow. No ghost. Rey was left alone by the dead and the living.

Swallowing hard, Rey continued her way. Rey paused at the narrow footpath that forked into three directions. She knew the training track Leia created remained to her left. She caught a few newcomers eye the trail that led to the obstacle with fascination. No one ventured into it, though. 

A collection of voices floated to Rey from the right.

Rey abruptly pivoted on her heels and marched to the left. She told herself she wasn't running.


	5. Chapter 5

_"No. No kriffing way."_

_Finn shared a look with Beaumont Kin when they thought he wasn't looking._

_"Poe," Beaumont tried._

_He wanted to start pacing. But that wouldn't be very general-like. Besides, their tent didn't offer room for pacing. He'll end up tripping over Finn's cot. That wouldn't be general-like either. Definitely not._

_"How sure are we about this?" he asked. When Finn glanced at the crate and the bounty pucks stacked up like casino credits, he held up his hand. "Never mind."_

_Finn's mouth set in that beautiful, stubborn way he gets. Everyone else would be in the drolls, but no, when Finn got this way, no one could convince him otherwise._

_It was what he needed in a co-General._

_Here? Not so much._

_He pointed at Finn, then Kin._

_"No." Maybe if he repeated it enough times, it'd sink into their thick skulls. "Absolutely not."_

_"Poe." Finn crouched down in front of Poe. Oh, oh no, Finn was giving him that look. The one that convinced him to send Finn and Rose off to Canto Bight._

_"Beaumont's intel has never been wrong," Finn said firmly. " I think we should do this."_

_"Don't I have a say?" he said. Inside, he winced. It sounded too plaintive, too hopeless._

_Finn's eyes softened. Finn grabbed his right hand and held it tight._

_"Finn…" He sucked in his breath because they shouldn't, he can't. He flicked a look past Finn. Beaumont Kin was suspiciously…not there._

_"Let me do this," Finn murmured. Finn held hands like the way he tackled his reclaimed life; it was hard to shake off such a hold._

_It never bothered him before how Finn got like this; it was a sight to behold whenever Finn stuck to his optimistic beliefs. Stars, it ignited a reaction core deep in him every time Finn got it in his head something needed to be done and can be done._

_He shook his head even though he felt himself giving in. Because they were right. It was the best option other than him crawling into the most bottomless hole in the furthest asteroid._

_"Poe." Finn squeezed their hands together like he was catching him before a drop. The lurch of a sudden stop, the jolt of a free fall interrupted. It wrenched a stitch in his chest. Because he wanted this, wanted Finn to catch him, but he. Can't. Do. This._

_"Good thing you made me co-General, huh?" Finn joked._

_A heat hot as a solar flare burst in his chest. Abrupt and painful like a blaster shot._

_He yanked his hands out of Finn's grip even if it left his entire body cold._

_"No. Finn, that's not why I—you know what? Forget it. No. We're not doing this. You're not doing this!"_

_"Poe—"_

_"Kriff, let it happen. They know where to find me. This wouldn't be the first time I—"_

_Finn's stool tipped back and clattered to the floor when Finn pulled him close._

_His words petered to a choked syllable._

_"I know it's not the first time," Finn whispered. He wrapped his arms around his head like the headlocks Finn insisted he needed to learn because 'you won't always have an X-wing around, Poe.'_

_"It's not the first time but let me make sure it's the last time." Finn dropped his face into the top of his hair and breathed._

_"Poe, let me do this. You know this is the best move we can do with what we have right now."_

_He curled a hand on Finn's shirt, then let go because it would be too easy to hold on for too long._

_"Don't make me regret it." He fidgeted away from Finn and the heat of his body. The core of him froze immediately after moving away. He almost tugged Finn back to him to thaw. Almost._

_"Too late," Finn murmured. He crooked a weary smile. "You look like you already do."_

+++

She finished the training course in record time.

Done, Rey sat down on a moss-covered tree trunk that served as a bridge across the chasm. It was part of the final leg of the training course. 

Last time Rey was here, she didn't complete it and lied to Leia that it was because she was tired. She lied to Leia before she left. She lied and now she could never take it back because she hasn't seen Leia since Tatooine.

Something sharp lodged in Rey's throat. When she sucked in a breath, the sound was loud, too loud, and unfamiliar on her ears.

_Calm. Balance._

_Hold on…_

The meditation that generally followed the course's completion only succeeded in making the buzzing under her skin louder. When she roused, she still tasted the sourness in the back of her throat. If she ate lunch, it wouldn't have stayed.

There were fragments of dreams from others she vaguely recognized, thoughts that flitted too fast for her to pinpoint; nothing as vivid as Poe's, though. She came back to herself, shocked to find herself on the log bridge, not in the tent. Another steadying breath and the taint of ill-boding faded into something briefer than a memory.

But Poe's frustration lingered. And oh, Rey understood the feeling. Hers coiled with thorns inside.

Rey's face screwed up. She wanted to do something, perhaps tear down the ancient tree across the crevice, toss it into the churning water below. Maybe the old Jedis would hear that. Maybe then, they'll return even if only to lecture her.

But that's not what a Jedi does.

Rey sighed. She scanned her surroundings again. 

_Are you here?_

Still no shimmer from the Force. 

After Exegol and the celebrations had faded, grief returned. The survivors' sorrow invaded Rey's meditation every night. They intruded as she stretched out a call to the ancient Jedi again. 

Everyone was sad. Everyone remembered those who died. They grieved for Leia, for so many who weren't there. But no one seemed to mourn for him. 

Rey escaped to the tree bridge after nights of endless thoughts and emotions that were not her own. She sat down with the target drone deactivated in her lap. 

She wanted to do something then as well. She wanted to throw the drone. She wanted to cry like others did. She wanted Leia to show up like Luke did and tell her it was all right her only son gave up his life for a Palpatine.

Only Finn showed. 

Rey caught Poe hanging back at the edge, watching until he was sure Finn safely joined her on the natural bridge. Poe shot Rey a weary smile, but when she waved at him, he didn't join them. He backed a step, then another until she could no longer see him.

And that's when Finn told her.

Rey took a deep breath to steady herself. She tamped down on the messy swirl of emotions the memory brought up. 

Force-sensitive. 

Finn suspected when he woke up from his coma after the Starkiller assault. He described how he sensed Poe sleeping in the chair beside his bed. He described sensing Rey's death after he and Jannah escaped into the _Millennium Falcon_.

Rey wasn't alone. Finn told her as much.

When Rey asked Finn to come train with her, he told her he needed to stay. With Poe.

It hurt. Rey was still alone, after all. But she was also glad she wasn't responsible for trying to guide another soul. Look what happened to Luke. And she heard tales about Obi-Wan. How could she guide and shape another? Finn already knew who he was and accepted his role in the universe. Rey admired Finn's unshakable certainty of who he was and what he wanted to be.

_Don't be afraid of who you are._

"Who am I supposed to be now?" Rey said out loud, but she grimaced when she heard her voice. 

_Deep breaths. Calm. Seek._

_Be with me._

_Come back…_

_Be with me. Please…_


	6. Chapter 6

_The transport skidded in the mud on one rail, sliding towards the medbay in the mountain._

_Too fast. The younglings fly too fast. Brother Han would have flown better._

_"Clear the area!" Healer Kalonia ran out._

_He looped an arm around her middle, stopping her from going further. She once called him brave. He did not want the craft to hit her._

_The transport dug a deep groove into the dirt. Fallen trees jammed under the craft, slowing it down. A rail flew off. There was smoke._

_"Bay doors are jammed!" Friend Finn was shouting from inside. Friend Rose was inside as well, yelling she couldn't bypass the airlocks._

_He set Kalonia down. She ran inside the medbay to get something to open the heavy door._

_Friend Finn banged on the bay doors. A scraping. Someone inside was using a pry bar._

_"Kalonia!" Friend Finn was screaming now. He stopped when he saw him outside._

_His paws scrabbled for an edge._

_Finn thumped his furless fists at the door._

_"Ch—"_

"Chewie?"

Rey's eyes flew open. She shot out of her pose, her eyes wildly going left and right. 

There.

Rey turned to the direction and took off running.

+++

Rey ran towards the mountain, towards the warm radiance at the edge of her awareness. The surrounding jungle was thick, hiding the face of the mountain chosen to house the officers, the command center, and the medbay.

The jungle sang with life big and small. A frond struck Rey's cheek as she crashed through them. The pure emotions of tiny mice that danced by her feet, a bird warbled in its nest above her, a—

And there, the distinct tall stature of a Wookie lumbering out of one of the officer's quarters. Chewie walked with a shuffle, letting a humanoid dressed in what appeared to be Finn's vest catch up. A porg was perched on Chewie's shoulder. Something warbled by Chewie's feet. D-O?

They were walking away, away from Rey, towards the other side of the mountain.

A Wookie's mind was distinct, their gruff yet kind thoughts soothing in the Force. Chewie's was also shaded with familiarity. She sensed Chewie when they were in Kijimi. 

Why didn't she sense Chewie here?

Chewie's mind was muffled, blocked to her, but his distraction and frustration bled through. Frustration at...at Finn and Poe?

"Chewie!" Rey called out. 

The Wookie didn't turn around. When D-O got stuck in the mud, Chewie gently scooped up the droid with a paw. Chewie kept walking, cradling D-O as the tiny droid stuttered, "Kind. V-very kind. Thank you."

"Chewie," Rey breathed. " _Chewie_!"

A few colorful birds scattered when Rey broke through the jungle and into the area.

Chewie was already out of sight.

Rey didn't realize she was on an intersect course with a man until she heard the yelp and felt a shoulder butt into her arm.

"Ay, where's the invasion, sweetheart—Rey!"

"Kin!" Rey managed out before Kin wrapped her with his thin arms. He gave her a little twirl. 

"Sorry," Kin apologized breathlessly after they broke apart. He scrubbed his palms on his trousers streaked with grease. He smelled like oil, rain, and oddly enough, flowers.

"Force, it's been a spell, Rey! I was hoping to find you sooner or later!" Kin grinned, his blue eyes bright as he took in Rey. "You look good! Are you back?"

A twinge plucked in Rey's chest. She shrugged, briefly, her arms stiff. She let them fall to her sides.

Kin's smile wavered. 

"Well, no mind. It's good you're here. General Dameron could certainly use the company."

Rey's brow knitted. "Actually, I was on my way to see him now." She nodded towards the flowers tucked in Kin's back pocket. "Those are lovely."

"These? Ah, just something I saw on my way over here. Thought Kaydel might like these, not that she'll see them, but thought..."

It took Rey a moment to realize Kin was referring to Connix.

"Connix?" Rey frowned mildly. "Why wouldn't she see them? Is she all right?"

Kin sighed. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Ah, they're saying she's getting better, but it could be another week or so. I can't imagine. I barely stand the smell of bacta myself for more than ten minutes—"

"Bacta?" Rey tensed, alarmed. "Connix is in bacta? You mean a bacta tank? What happened?"

"Kriff." Kin smacked a hand over his mouth. "I thought..." He grabbed his hair with both hands. He paced a small circle in front of Rey. "Kriff!"

"Kin," Rey demanded, "What is going on?"

Before Kin could reply—the intelligence officer appeared like he was about to faint—a deep rumble and whine vibrated from the other side of the mountain. 

Rey tensed. "I know that sound."

The _Millennium Falcon_ darted out from behind the mountain and zipped up into the atmosphere. 

"Chewie!" Rey shouted, even though it was pointless. She sensed the Wookie in the ship with another presence she didn't recognize. 

With a blast of blue light, the _Falcon_ jumped.

"No one told me the _Falcon_ was here." Rey should have sensed it, though. "Where's it going?"

Kin grimaced. "Diplomatic mission, General Dameron's orders."

"Why," Rey seethed between her teeth, "Wasn't I told the _Millennium Falcon_ was here this whole time?"

Kin fidgeted. His foot inched back.

Rey froze. 

"Oh, I wasn't going to..." Rey took a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm just not understanding here."

Kin made a face, realizing what he did. He pulled out the flowers and gazed down at the white and yellow blossoms. He exhaled slowly.

"You," Kin said carefully. He pulled out a long thin stemmed yellow flower. It was a five-point petal, a star that smelled citrus sweet.

"You should talk to the general." Kin winced, his blonde beard wiggling as he fought for words. 

"Talk to the general," Kin finally said. He gave Rey the flower. "It really is good to see you again."

Rey stared after Kin as he jogged towards the medbay to the right. He ducked behind the tarp flaps that covered the cave mouth. 

There was a familiar mind in that direction, foggy and drowsy. A mind not quite alert and numbed. There was a muted throb of pain. 

Rey glanced down at the dirt. Kin's shoes scuffed a line back in the dirt.

Swallowing, Rey continued to the officers' quarters on her left.

+++

The white and orange droid was a welcome sight.

"There you are," Rey scolded, but only half-heartedly. "I know you miss Poe, but you could have at least told me where you were. Is this where they've been hiding?" She stepped towards the room covered in an elaborate composition of tarp and wood. It looked like an entire structure was built and inserted into the cavern for extra insulation.

BeeBee Ate stopped in front of Rey.

"What's the matter?" Rey glanced down, but BeeBee Ate seemed to be okay. "Did you get too much dirt in your tracks?" She took a step to get around the droid. "If Poe doesn't have time, I'll help clean them."

BeeBee Ate bleated once, servos whirring and wove back into her path again.

Rey stared at the droid. "What's the matter with you?"

The droid chirped and whined. BeeBee Ate ended the sequence with a sad whistle.

"New mission?" Rey frowned. "What new mission?"

BeeBee beeped a trio of notes.

"Classified?" Rey folded her arms in front of her. "BeeBee, I want to speak with Finn or Poe. Let me pass."

BeeBee Ate bleated low by Rey's feet. The droid rolled back when Rey tried another step towards the door.

Rey frowned. "BeeBee Ate, I need to speak with them." She glanced up and narrowed her eyes at the door.

All of a sudden, BeeBee Ate rolled up and knocked into Rey's knees.

"Ow, that hurt!" Rey stared down at the astromech in dismay. "What are you doing?"

BeeBee Ate trilled sadly.

"Again, classified?" Rey took a deep breath. "BeeBee Ate, I want to speak with General Dameron. Now."

The droid's head tilted up. The primary sensor glowed with an inner light as it scanned Rey.

BeeBee Ate chirped and trundled past Rey.

"Hey!" Rey spun around and tracked BeeBee Ate rolling towards the command center next to the medbay. "Where are you going?"

Rey glanced back to the door.

BeeBee Ate's call was shrill. A few more birds squawked as they broke free off the treetops.

"All right," Rey murmured. She gave the door another hard look before trotting after the droid.

+++

_"...not agreeable, general."_

"I understand that," Finn rumbled, "But you can't insist on our presence in your system. Not yet. Not until we agree on the terms."

_"I refuse to have Senator Kriggs share the passage when it was clear she has misgivings about my authority!"_

As Rey approached the command center, she frowned when Finn sighed loudly through the tarp-covered entrance.

"Funny, Senator Kriggs say the same thing about you, Senator Hiz."

_"I find nothing humorous about the Arthenian woman,"_ the voice said icily. 

"I wasn't saying..." Finn cleared his throat. "What can the Resistance offer to assist the negotiations?"

_"If Senator Tolks agree to assign a new ambassador, we in the Kestenia system may consider recognizing Kriggs as a temporary leader for Arthenia."_

"Wait, Tolks won't reassign—"

_"I am trying to be reasonable here, General Dameron,"_ Hiz snapped.

There was a hiss of a holo-comm abruptly ending.

BeeBee Ate, who lingered outside the entire time, whistled.

"Rey?" Finn poked his head out from behind the tarp. He looked haggled, a stranger in a brown officer uniform. The locs on Finn's head were unraveling from Finn's hand repeatedly running through them.

Rey frowned. 

"I asked to see Poe." Rey tossed a look at BeeBee Ate. 

BeeBee Ate warbled a slew of notes.

Finn went down on one knee. He made a point to look at the main sensor.

"You need to slow down. I'm still not that great with binary."

Rey looked at Finn. She looked at BeeBee Ate.

"BeeBee Ate kept saying it was classified." 

Finn winced. He rubbed a palm over his mouth, but too late, Rey saw it.

"Why is it classified?" Rey's voice thinned. "And what's this new mission?" She studied Finn.

"What was the last mission?" Rey tried to keep her voice steady. "And why didn't anyone tell me Chewie was here?"

Finn rose to his feet. He gave BeeBee Ate a distracted pat on the domed head. 

"Rey—"

"Why are you two avoiding me?" 

Finn's eyes widened. "We're not."

Rey's mouth pressed thin. "I know leaving like I did wasn't good, but at the time—"

Finn gripped Rey by the shoulders.

"Rey, hey, no, it's not that. We get it. We all did." 

"You're still blocking me," Rey muttered. She narrowed her eyes. "You're hiding something. I'll find out." She paused when she heard herself.

"I-I mean," Rey stammered. 

Finn smiled faintly. He didn't look alarmed or took a step back. 

"I know what you mean," Finn reassured. He exhaled. "This. Everything. A lot's happened. Poe and I—"

"Sir?" A head poked out from the tarp. The man in a tan Ops uniform paused at the sight of Rey.

Finn gazed skyward. He muttered under his breath, too low for Rey to catch.

"Yes?" Finn grimaced at Rey. 

"Um, another transmission. I'm sorry, I tried to tell—"

"Who is it?" Finn sighed. "Tolks? Kriggs?"

"...actually, both. They're demanding to speak with General Dameron."

"I'll be right there," Finn said over his shoulder. He winced at Rey's narrowed eyes.

"General Dameron?" 

Finn gestured at Rey. "It's not what you think."

"I don't know anything; what could I possibly think?" Rey clamped her mouth shut when she heard herself shouting.

"Sir?" The lieutenant shot Rey a wary look. "Should I get him?"

"No!" Finn snapped.

"But—"

"I'll handle this." Finn faced Rey again. He gripped her hand and squeezed.

"I'll explain everything over breakfast. Okay?"

Rey's jaw tensed.

"We're not avoiding you. It's not whatever you think it is," Finn insisted. "Breakfast. All right? Yeah?"

Rey felt a tugging in her mind, something taut, vibrating. Finn's light flared an anxious blue.

"All right," Rey said finally. "I want those—"

"Spice biscuits. Poe knew you would like those." Finn's hand briefly squeezed Rey's hand. "Breakfast. I'll be there."

Finn gave BeeBee Ate a nod before ducking back into the command center.

_"General Dameron,"_ a voice shrieked, _"if that halfwit of a Thorian thinks he could ignore the influence of the—"_

_"General Dameron, his demand I remove my own daughter as ambassador—"_

"Senators," Finn said, louder to be heard above the dueling holograms. "One at a time..."

Rey made a face as she took a step back. She beckoned to the droid still by the command center's entrance.

"Come on," Rey muttered.

BeeBee Ate bleated a few timid notes.

"You have to go back to what mission?" Rey stared after the astromech as it rolled back towards Finn and Poe's quarters.

"Don't get too much mud in your tracks!" Rey shouted.

A faraway whistle replied.

Rey watched until she could no longer see the brightest sensor lights in the distance. 

"Guess I'm eating dinner alone," Rey muttered.

+++

There was at least one in the Mess who wasn't a stranger.

Rey sighed in relief when she spotted Rose's bent head at the farthest end of the eating area. Her hand only went up halfway in greeting before it lowered. She hurried over, bypassing the food line.

"What happened?" Rey asked breathlessly when she approached Rose's table.

Rose's right arm was extended across the table where a young man with a narrow face was bent over her burned palm with some bacta patches. 

"I need to teach a refresher course on what is the default on-off position," Rose grumbled. Her mouth tilted to the side in a sort of grimace and smile. 

"Hi."

"Hi," Rey returned faintly. She sat down and watched the man apply the patches.

"Is it deep?" Rey's brow furrowed.

"Not deep," the man assured Rey. He spoke with an accent Rey couldn't place. He wore a black tunic that was two sizes too large and the gray-blue trousers of the Med corps. 

To Rose, he went on. "You're good to go. Just be sure to keep the wound dry. I'll change out new bacta strips for them tomorrow."

"Thanks, Neelsy," Rose muttered as the other left. She sighed as she pulled down her sleeve. She glanced over at Rey.

"Did you get to talk to them?" 

Rey leaned closer to Rose. "Did you know Chewie was here? Why is Connix in a bacta tank? Why is Finn calling himself General Dameron?"

"Guess that's a no then," Rose mumbled. She picked at the corner of a bacta strip.

Rey stared at Rose's hand. She wondered how Rose would react if she pulled Rose's hand close and let her life force seep into Rose's hurts. She hasn't tried it since Exegol. Would it scare Rose? Would it scare the others around them?

Would it scare Rey?

"A lot's happened since you left," Rose tried.

"Apparently." Rey forced herself to lower her voice when the eyes around them glanced over. 

Rose winced. "Whatever you're thinking…"

"Think about what?" Rey's staff creaked in her grip. "I don't have an opinion about anything. Since no one told me anything. All I get are…pieces."

"Pieces?" Rose frowned. "What do you mean?"

Rey shook her head. She unclenched her fist around her staff with some effort. 

"Nothing. I…" Rey wanted to tell Rose or Finn about the maelstrom of thought, of emotions, whipped about in the Force. She couldn't strike at it or sift through the bits and decipher what the Force was trying to tell her. And there was no one she could ask. The ancient Jedis were silent, like a ship flying away and her screaming for it to come back, come back.

Her staff shook against the table it was propped against. The table vibrated like it was about to jump into hyperspace.

A hand skimmed over Rey's hand wrapped around her staff.

A rush of air swept through Rey, cool and soothing. The haze in her eyes cleared. She checked left and right, but everyone's heads were bent over their evening meal.

"So," Rose said loudly. Too loudly. A pilot three tables away glanced up. 

"The menu is stew tonight." Rose made a face. "Local. Tastes like an old dee-jak hen, but with enough sauce, it's palatable."

Rey took a deep breath. "I never had dee-jak hen before," Rey said, playing along. 

Rose snorted. "There was this time Finn had the brilliant idea to use one of our salvaged X-wing burners to cook a whole rack of them for everyone. Only Poe didn't tell him the hens were flammable due to the gas buildup in the cavities." 

Rey covered her snort with a cupped hand. "Oh, no…"

"Finn marched up to the engine." Rose stuck out her chest to demonstrate. "The general was all ready to serve dinner. He flipped a switch and—"

With a flail of hands and a holler that made others turn around to stare, Rose demonstrated what looked like a rather messy event.

"The general's hen incident," Rose said to the people in the next table.

The stares turned into crinkled eyes and nods. The collection of humanoids and aliens turned back. They started sharing their own version of the incident.

Rey fought to keep the smile on her face.

"Poe made a holo of it and that was the start of the worst prank war I ever…" Rose stopped when she glanced over. 

"It was..." Rose squirmed in her seat. "It was a week after you, uh..."

"After I left." Rey ran a finger along the table edge. It was once a panel from a TIE fighter; someone painted red Resistance symbols across the surface.

"Seems like I missed a lot," Rey said finally. The admittance hurt to hear out loud.

"But you're here now," Rose pointed out.

Rey bit back the thought maybe it would have been better if she stayed away. 

"I didn't know Chewie was here." Rey couldn't keep the hurt out of her words.

"Chewie comes and goes." Rose poked at the patches on the heel of her right hand. "Just to help out. Kin's trying to recreate an intelligence network from the base. He didn't want to be too far away from..." Rose stopped.

"Connix," Rey finished for Rose. "It sounded serious." 

Rose dropped both elbows on the table. She stared glumly at the table.

"She's alive. So is Inx Kenth. It's all we could ask for. Kalonia's certain given enough time, they'll recover, but for now, it's the bacta tanks for them."

Kenth wasn't a familiar name, but Rey held back from asking. Questions made others nervous. Or maybe it was Jedi Rey who made them nervous. 

Rey wished it didn't hurt. Finn said everyone understood, but even the ones who understood all seemed different now. 

Strangers. She came back to strangers.

"Kin told me to talk to Poe," Rey said and watched for Rose's reaction.

Rose screwed up her face. "To _Poe_? Why would—" Her expression closed off. 

"What's going on?" Rey lowered her voice again when she noticed the wide-eyed looks tossed her way. "Why is Finn pretending to be General Dameron?"

"Because he's an idiot," Rose muttered under her breath.

"What?"

Rose breathed out through her teeth. "Look, it's—"

"Classified," Rey said tightly. "So I've been told."

Rose shot Rey a pained look. 

"No, I was going to say it's something Finn should be telling you, not us."

"Because I left."

"But you came back." Rose's hand covers Rey's fist on the table. "They weren't sure when you would, but you have to know we're glad you did. Let Finn tell you."

The last time Finn told Rey anything, he said he needed to stay behind. Last time, Finn said he respected Rey's choice to go to Tatooine and be alone. 

Rey was starting to regret her choice.

"All right," Rey muttered. "I'll let Finn tell me."

Rose smiled wearily at Rey.

"Great. Let's go get some stew."

+++

When she became Skywalker, Rey commed Finn and offered him the name as well. He and Poe were the closest she has left to define as family. Plus, Poe already has the name Dameron.

Finn thanked her with a holo filled with his beaming face. He thanked her but told her Skywalker suited her more.

Rey set out searching for the first suspected Jedi temple the next morning. 

The first rumored location turned out to be just that: a rumor. But the citadels were a blend of gold sparkles and white like the salt flats of Crait. She transmitted an image to Poe and Finn through BeeBee Ate.

Poe replied back that Rey should carve out _'Rey was here. Kriff this'_ on it.

Finn immediately replied in a separate holo that Rey shouldn't do _anything_ Poe suggests otherwise she start an intergalactic incident.

Rey did her best to send images of where she's been, capturing pictographs that spoke of Jedi and the Force. Finn and Poe always replied immediately. She started storing their holos on a datachip to spare poor BeeBee Ate's memory banks.

On lonely nights, she reluctantly admitted to herself she was trying to make Finn feel guilty for refusing to train with her. Another part of her wanted someone out there in the galaxy answering her calls.

But then the comms stop coming. 

Rey returned to Ajan Kloss, but it wasn't her Ajan Kloss anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

_"I think it's a great idea."_

_Finn beamed in that open, unbridled way of his. It always catches his breath: the way Finn could find such joy when his life had so little of it before he joined them._

_"Yeah?" Finn turned anxious in an echo of the Finalizer. Finn asked the same thing then and believed him. Minutes. Minutes in a First Order alcove. Finn took him at his word and broke out of a lifetime of conditioned and controlled life._

_"Yeah." He copied Finn's growing enthusiasm with a grin of his own. "I think it's a great idea. You're right. Who knows how many are out there?"_

_Finn hopped out of his cot and orbited the crate in the center of their tent. "The whole time with the Resistance, I thought about it. Jannah proved I wasn't the only one. There could be hundreds more out there just like Jannah and me."_

_No, there isn't anyone quite like you._

_He kept the thought to himself, though. It's not something a general should say out loud. He'll be a sap in private, thank you very much._

_"I'll see if Maz can spread the word. Suralinda wanted to do a profile on us. I could mention—"_

_Finn halted in front of his cot._

_"Hey, you think Rey will wanna come back to help?"_

_Finn looked so hopeful. It's only been a few days. Hey, he missed her, as well, but it still hurt to see Finn like this. Whatever they talked about placed a few planets between them._

_"You saw how she was," he reminded Finn. He felt like bantha crap when Finn's face fell. "You said she needed time. I agreed. She stayed away even when she was on base. She needs space."_

_"I know," Finn murmured. "She gets that way sometimes. I just wished we…"_

_Finn heaved a sigh, and just like that, his good mood was back faster than he could recite his own serial number._

_"We're gonna do this," Finn said, out loud. He grinned at him._

_"You're starting a new rebellion, general," he murmured. Staring at Finn right now felt like basking under a sun._

_"We're starting a new rebellion," Finn corrected him._

_Eh, he'd happily drown in a mountain of boring datapads and mind-numbing politics if it meant Finn was like this every day. Again, not a very appropriate sentiment of a general. Hopefully, Leia would forgive him for indulging. Just this once._

_"Happy to follow your lead, General," he said._

_Finn laughed. He gave a sloppy salute._

_"Thank you, General." Finn clapped his shoulder. It was like all the good cheer seeped into his own skin. Finn's optimism was contagious._

_He chuckled as Finn bounded out the tent, hollering for Connix._

_This. Give him this every day. It'll be enough._

+++

This morning Rey woke up with a vague buzzing in the back of her mind again. When she sat up in her cot, the sensation trickled down her back.

Rey checked out her tent flaps and noted the skies were too cloudy for rainbows. Several baskets and a note waited for her.

 _'Sorry. I know I said breakfast,'_ the note read. It offered nothing else. 

There were ribbons in one basket along with loaves of bread wrapped in cloth in another. There was also a tube of sealant and a whittling kit from Rose.

 _'Saw these ribbons in a market while waiting for an...'_ The crooked word was hard to make out. _'Long story. Tell you about it next time. Heard you changed your hair. Thought these might look...'_

The last word lacked the straight lines of the previous. Rey couldn't read the word but assumed what it meant. She let one ribbon slip between her fingers. It was the color of lightning. It fluttered back into the basket limp and unresisting.

The buzzing residing in her spine sharpened as Rey surveyed all the baskets around the tent. 

With a choked sound, Rey kicked one—the one with the data chips—and felt terrible as soon as they all spilled out. They looked like tiny bones scattered from a thousand wars—broken and forgotten.

Rey stepped forward to pick them up. She stopped and stared at the data chips. 

"You should be here," Rey muttered. She wasn't certain whom she asked: Jedi or her friends. It didn't matter. Neither replied.

The buzzing balled up into a sparking lump painful against her ribs. She inhaled sharply. 

Abruptly, the tent around Rey quivered. She started, her eyes darting left and right at her shelter. Her breath picked up. 

"Calm. Focus," Rey stuttered. "Be…be here with me."

No one answered. Rey thought she tasted ozone.

 _Where are you_ , Rey screamed out into the Force. She snatched up a basket.

Finn's note fluttered to the floor.

 _'Sorry. I know I said breakfast,'_

Rey dropped the basket and stalked out her tent, leaving the spilled baskets behind like space debris.

+++

When Master Luke was in one of his more talkative moods, he said forgiveness was harder than anger. Anger, Luke had said as he waved off one of the many porgs flocked around him, was quick and short. Anger burst into one's mind, faster than a cannon shot. Like a cannon shot, it was lasting and devastating.

Forgiveness, on the other hand, was slow to form and often elusive. It wasn't felt like a presence, but more like a feeling. It can heal. If one allowed it in.

At the time, Rey jokingly asked Luke if he was referring to the porg that accidentally molted onto the _Millennium Falcon's_ targeting console. Chewie chased squawking porg hens all around the island and roared about it for days.

Luke smiled at her. He shrugged and asked her why not.

The memory lingered in the back of Rey's mind. Luke's words slowed her steps down the muddy path that led to the officers' quarters. She hung back, in the fringes of the jungle, breathing hard but slowly calming.

There wasn't a shiny orange and white ball diligently rolling left and right in front of Finn and Poe's quarters. She squinted to her right. Sure enough, there was BeeBee Ate rolling on uneven ground beside Rose towards the airstrip.

Rey waited until the two disappeared into the wilderness. She steered for Finn and Poe's quarters.

The buzzing in her spine drifted to her right arm now.

Rey paused. She looked back to the direction her arm ached. The command center's tarp flapped. Behind the protective covering, something flickered with blue hologram light, bright enough to rival the day.

One more glance to the left, Rey changed directions.

+++

_"...ridiculous to think I would agree to such terms!"_ Someone was shouting via holo. _"If that man thinks for one instant I would—"_

"General Seegas—"

_"It's Senator Seegas."_

" _Senator_ Seegas, that man sent a Destroyer class starship to your planet so you could evacuate when there was a possibility your system was the Starkiller's next target."

Poe's gruff interjection faltered when Rey entered the command center. He didn't turn around, though. He remained standing in his wide stance, leaning slightly forward on his hands shoulder length apart on the central console. It was like he was a pilot doing a briefing at mission control again: positive, unafraid, and resolute that what he proposed was the right course of action. Except instead of his orange flight suit, he was in the somber brown uniform of an officer, his jacket undone.

The hologram in the center paused at Poe's reminder. He wore a similar uniform but threw a sash across his left shoulder to signify his new senatorial position.

 _"Well, yes, but it was just one ship..."_ Seegas blustered.

Finn stepped out of the shadows to Poe's left. He froze at the sight of Rey but recovered and turned back to the main holoprojector. He sidled closer to Poe, a dark hand slipping over Poe's lower back.

"He could have sent no ships," Finn said quietly. "Even though the evacuation was no longer necessary." The words " _Thanks to us_ " were left unsaid. 

_"Yes, he was quite the hero,"_ Seegas sneered. _"A former commander for the Empire sending over a Destroyer from his stolen arsenal to a planet he once tried to invade. Such a compassionate man. The Empire taught him well. A villain with a conscience."_

Poe exhaled sharply. He glanced over to Finn, but Finn didn't look back. His profile was immovable, bland as if carved from rock.

"His act of compassion was appreciated." Finn's hand traveled higher up Poe's back. His voice was calm compared to Poe's sharper one. "The Resistance sponsored and recommended his seat to the new Senatorial house in recognition of that fact."

Out of the corner of Rey's eye, a familiar man with a narrow face hung back in the shadows. He stayed away from the glow of the holoprojector. Rose called him Neelsy. 

Neelsy dipped his head to Rey but did nothing else. He held a dark gray satchel with a medical patch with two hands. He intently watched the proceedings in the front.

 _"Yes, but must you seat him with me? To be associated with that vile former soldier of—"_ the hologram was trying to recover. 

"If you're that embarrassed," Poe snapped, "You don't have to take a seat at all. See? Problem solved."

_"Well, I never! General Dam—"_

"Get back to us on that. Better yet, why don't you take that pointy—" 

Finn lunged forward and ended the comm before Poe finished.

The cavern seemed to have expanded with Seegas's outrage no longer bouncing off the walls. Poe, on the other hand, breathed harder and harder as if he was running and hasn't stopped yet.

Finn cleared his throat.

"…That went well."

Poe grunted. "I still think we should lock all of them in a room and get them drunk on the moonshine Chewie made."

"That wouldn't accomplish anything," Finn scoffed. 

"No, but it would be fun to watch," Poe rasped. He turned his head, his profile lost in the shadows. "Wouldn't you agree, Rey?"

Rey set her jaw but said nothing. She considered Poe; his eyes crinkled with humor she didn't understand, and with a resignation she didn't like.

Finn shot Rey a look. Then he looked over to Neelsy behind her. 

"Get Ka—"

"No need," Poe interrupted. He audibly swallowed. "I just need to sit down for a moment."

"Okay," Finn agreed quickly, his hand remained on Poe's lower back.

Neelsy began pushing a stool towards Poe. Rey tracked the seat to the two and realized Finn's hand was more of a fist clutching the back of Poe's jacket.

"Ah kriff," Poe sighed. "That really could have gone better, huh?"

"It wasn't one of your better ones," Finn agreed. He stepped closer. Their shadows merged briefly into a large dark stain in front of the holoprojector's light.

"But it was one of your more dramatic ones." Finn's light tone became urgent. "The chair is right behind you."

Poe grunted. He made to sit. He stopped.

"Finn?" Poe whispered.

The buzzing spread throughout Rey's chest now.

"Yeah, I'm right here." Finn's fist bunched tighter on Poe's jacket.

"I think..." Poe drew in a shaky breath. "I think you better get Kalonia after all."

Before Finn could reply, before Rey could jump towards them, the buzzing in her chest _screamed_ when Poe coughed, sending a spray of blood across the console. 

Finn was shouting for Kalonia even as he dropped to the ground with Poe.


	8. Chapter 8

"It was an assassination attempt."

Rey lifted her head. Finn and Poe's quarters solidified back to clarity. Her neck ached from where she stooped, staring at Finn's hand curled around Poe's right.

"A little over two weeks ago," Finn clarified when he caught Rey's gaze. He checked a datapad hung above Poe's head. It displayed vitals like the larger machines in a medbay.

"When I stopped hearing from you," Rey mumbled. She sat with her back to a wall, watching and feeling numb.

Finn sat by Poe's head. The bed was pushed back to the wall, farthest away from the entrance, to Rey's right. Behind Finn was another bed, neatly kept and perpendicular to Poe's.

"A month before that, Kin caught word there was a bounty on Poe's head. Twenty thousand credits for General Dameron's life. Double that if it was in public."

Rey's breath caught. "The First Order?"

Finn rubbed Poe's shoulder when Poe muttered inaudibly. The datapad above him beeped. 

"Possibly. There were true believers," Finn said. He kept his voice low, his eyes locked to Poe's face. "What's left of the First Order went underground; we always knew not everyone would just surrender."

Rey pursed her lips. "I didn't hear anything in my travels."

"If word got out they managed to get to General Dameron, the Galactic Senate would crumble before it could fully reform." Finn's hand settled over Poe's heart. 

"Why isn't he in a bacta tank?" Rey studied Poe's slack features. She noted the shadows under the dark swept of his lashes. She didn't like the furrow etched deep on his brow.

"We only have two. We used them for—"

"Connix and Kenth," Rey remembered. "I heard they were in medbay."

"Kalonia has been with them every day since the attack. They needed complete immersion. Poe was still conscious. He gave the order we couldn't put him in bacta. Word would get out. And we didn't have the resources to get another bacta tank, not without attracting attention."

"The Resistance was no longer underground." Rey thought of the frequent broadcasts and feeds she came across during her travels. "The only way was to get them in the black market."

"I was planetside with Poe, negotiating with a Stormtrooper platoon who wanted to surrender to us. Poe and his team were about to jump when I heard the explosion. I thought..." 

Finn exhaled. His hand splayed wider over Poe's heart.

"I already called myself General Dameron after we heard about the bounty. Every time he was out there, there were two General Damerons," Finn scoffed wearily.

"To make Poe a harder target to track." Rey studied Poe. Echoes of his dream rose to the surface. "Poe didn't like that, did he?"

Finn shook his head. 

Poe winced in his sleep. His head lolled towards Finn and Rey.

"Threatened to lock me up in the brig, except we didn't have one." Finn smiled, tight-lipped and humorless. "He made me co-General; he couldn't order me around."

Rey pulled her knees up to her chest. "He was afraid."

Finn looked at Rey sharply. "So was I—we all were." 

Poe made another sound. It sounded pained.

"We're fine," Finn murmured. He moved his hand back to Poe's shoulder. He plucked at Poe's neckline, pulling the fabric to cover the hollow of his throat. Finn used his other hand to tug the covers higher to Poe's chin.

"Not that it did any good," Finn said bitterly. "Found a similar bomb in my craft. They were supposed to go off at the same time, but I heard about that platoon and stayed behind. Whoever did this didn't care which General Dameron they get."

"You should have told me." Rey knew it was petty to be upset about it. But she took in the shadows on Poe and Finn's faces; it ached to understand how long they were there and why.

"You have enough to worry about," Finn waved at Rey when she stiffened. He sounded tired, not angry. "And we couldn't be sure who was listening. Kin's establishing his informant network. Chewie's pretending to fly around with me on Poe's orders so no one would suspect anything."

"I saw the _Millennium Falcon_." Rey bit her lower lip. "That's when I realized there was something wrong."

"Didn't think we could pull it off." Finn scrubbed a hand down his face. He kept his other hand on Poe's shoulder. Rey suspected it was more for his benefit than Poe's.

"I would never pry." Rey breathed around the knot growing larger in her throat. She blinked rapidly. "Not intentionally." 

Finn nodded. "Poe said the same thing. That's why he thought it would work. You would never..." Finn winced when he caught the look on Rey's face. 

"I wanted to tell you. I really did, but between the negotiations and Poe insisting he needed to be present and..." Finn's head dropped. He took a deep breath.

"No, that's a poor excuse. We were worried with how you were coping after Exegol and thought we could handle this our—Rey, I'm sorry." Finn flicked a look at Poe. "He is, too. Obsessed over sending you all those baskets."

Rey's lips slowly curled up. "I liked the baskets. Especially the one with the holonovel about the soldier and the spice runner."

Finn groaned. He gave Poe a mock glare. "Really? I thought that was the worse of the batch, but that's one of his favorites. He denied it, but it was his favorite." 

"One of the characters reminded me of you." Rey smiled faintly at Finn's exaggerated mortified expression. "Especially when he started reciting ballads to the—"

"Stop," Finn groaned. He sagged back into Poe's bed. "I hated that part. It's a stupid part. Poe made the first arrivals of recruits memorize one of those pieces."

Rey and Finn shared a smile, but it ended too quickly when Poe moved restlessly, his mouth twisting into a grimace.

"Easy," Finn murmured, his hand massaging Poe's shoulder until Poe's face smoothed out.

"You said explosion," Rey prodded.

Finn nodded. His eyes stayed on the datapad. When he turned away from the display, he looked like a stranger again with his weary expression, his mouth tilted down.

"Rose said it was wired into the hyperdrive generator. As soon as the engine primed for lightspeed, the bomb would have started a countdown. If Poe hadn't detected a change in the drive's sound, his shuttlecraft would have disintegrated in hyperspace. No one would have ever known what happened to them."

Rey considered Finn.

"I would have known. You would have known, too."

Finn's gaze sharpened on Rey.

Rey frowned. "I don't understand why you haven't told him."

"The timing's never been…." Finn sighed. He considered Poe.

"But have to wonder if he's also...you know. One hell of a piece of flying. The craft was shredded, there wasn't even a complete engine anymore. Poe was able to get the craft down, but they took a lot of damage."

"...any crash you can walk away from," Poe whispered. Bloodshot eyes cracked open. "I think I did pretty well."

"Kalonia said those meds would keep you under for a few hours," Finn grumbled. He squinted at the datapad then dragged his glare to Poe.

"And walk? Try crawl." 

To Rey, Finn explained in a terse voice. "Crawled in to get Connix out. Then crawled back in to get Kenth."

"Would have gotten Lev and Gabe too if you hadn't stopped me," Poe bit out. It wasn't clear if the lines at the corners of his mouth were from pain or something else.

Finn sighed. 

"They were sitting in the back," Finn said carefully. It sounded like an old argument.

"Because General Dameron was so kriffing eager to pilot anything." Poe closed his eyes. Rey thought it would have been easier if he sounded angry, not tired. 

"I should have been here," Rey whispered. Her shoulders drew in. "I'm sorry."

"Finn," Poe said hoarsely. "Can you? She's too far away."

Rey frowned at Poe's hand weakly waving towards her.

Finn went over and pulled Rey into a hug.

"You're here now." Finn gently pushed her over to Poe's bed. 

Poe's cold fingers curled around Rey's wrist the moment she sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Hello," Rey murmured. She rubbed her fingers over Poe's hand. 

Poe blearily blinked up at Rey.

"Did you like the holonovels?"

Rey chuckled lightly, harder at Finn's groan. "Very much, thank you. Especially the one with the soldier and—"

Poe coughed, but he smiled all the same. "Yeah, that one's the best."

"You two have terrible taste in fiction," Finn muttered. He scanned the datapad over Poe's head. "You want to try to get some more sleep?"

"It's barely past breakfast—"

"Which Neelsy said you couldn't keep down," Finn cut in smoothly. He smiled tightly at the datapad, but his hand remained on Poe's shoulder. His thumb smoothed circles over the joint.

"Seegas..." Poe struggled to keep his eyes open.

"After what you told him? He's probably holo-comming every senator who would take his transmission and air his grievances on how slighted he felt. That could take all week." 

Finn brushed knuckles across Poe's forehead over the lines of pain the medicine couldn't wholly banish. His face went through too many emotions for Rey to decipher, but when Poe pried open his eyes wider, Finn settled on a smirk.

"You always have to be so dramatic," Finn told Poe. "This was almost as bad as when you told Senator Kriggs the governor avoided her because he worried that he'd blinded by her hat."

Rey started. "You did not."

Poe's lips crooked in memory. "I meant to say her brilliance, but I was having a bad day."

Finn's expression went neutral. "You could say that. Kalonia threatened to keep you in bed with binders."

Poe yawned. "Told her that was too kinky for my tastes."

Finn rolled his eyes half-heartedly. "Get some sleep before I do the same."

Poe winked at Rey. His fingers twitched, trying to maintain their grip over Rey's.

"Not without buying me dinner first, general." 

Finn sighed, louder than he looked like he really felt. He said nothing else, his fingers tracing the line of Poe's jaw. 

Poe, as always, was stubborn as when Rey first knew him. He gazed up at Finn, his mouth curled into a tired grimace. 

"Did we get the results from the survey teams yet?"

"We will," Finn muttered. His fingers remained on the side of Poe's neck. He kept them there, his thumb stroking Poe's pulse. "Let Kalonia's meds work, Poe."

"Did Kan sign the—"

"He will," Finn interrupted. He flicked a look at Rey.

"You should rest, Poe," Rey murmured.

Poe's gritty eyes tilted up to Rey. His fingers curled then straightened inside her grasp, transmitting a message only for Rey.

Rey's throat worked. She found herself drawing closer to the cloud residing in Poe's mind. Her eyes widened a fraction, but she recovered before Finn looked over.

"What?" Finn hushed, as if it would help Poe sleep.

"I…" Rey bit her lower lip. 

Poe's fingers bent into a gnarled fist within her grip. His eyes cleared and stayed on Rey.

"I think he wants me to read him a bedtime story first," Rey said weakly. "Maybe _'The Love Winds of the Rebellion?'_ "

Poe's fingers relaxed under her grasp.

Finn scoffed. "That would put _me_ to sleep." He combed a hand through Poe's hair.

"Want me to read you Beaumont's latest intel report instead?" Finn offered. He grinned as best he could when Poe lightly punched Finn's chin. 

Poe huffed out a chuckle. It barely made a sound. 

Finn stooped low to Poe's ear. Rey studied the opposite wall. There was a pile of what looked like small toys next to an empty basket on the floor. They were objects Finn would collect and cram into his pockets. The basket was a larger version of the ones Rey received. 

"Get some rest." Finn's whisper sounded like a plea. He was bent over so low Poe was hidden from view; his drowsy responses lost under the shield of Finn's body.

Finn stayed hunched over Poe, his elbow bent by Poe's left ear. Finn's other hand massaged small circles on Poe's shoulder, murmuring things Rey couldn't catch until Poe drifted back to sleep. Finn sat back up. He scrubbed his jaw with a hand. 

Rey squeezed Poe's fingers once before tucking them back under the covers.

"He's cold," Rey noted.

Finn breathed out sharply. "Been having trouble staying warm lately. Kalonia wants to do some more internal scans later."

Rey's knuckles brushed over Poe's brow. His forehead was clammy. 

The buzzing hummed under her skin. 

_Hold on…hold on…_

"Rey…" Finn looked hesitant. "When we were under the Shifting Mires, you did something with that snake…" He glanced down at Poe. "He didn't think we should ask, but…"

The buzzing spread throughout Rey's body, settling into her joints. 

"I can try," Rey offered. She rubbed her hands together. They were sticky with sweat. She wiped them clean on her cropped trousers, over the hem that ended around her knees, but it didn't work. She scrubbed harder, to the point the hems rolled up, damp, but her palms remained sticky.

Finn looked pained. "You know what? Poe's right, his injuries are too complicated and—"

"No, I can do this," Rey insisted. 

"No, Rey, I shouldn't ask this of you—"

"I can do this!"

Rey clamped her lips together to tamp the rising volume in her voice, loud enough Finn started to look alarmed. She inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"I should try," Rey said, calmer. "The Jedi were known to heal. Luke—I didn't get to learn much about it from him, but it's an instinct, a feeling. The Force will guide me."

Rey carefully pulled down the covers and dropped a hand over Poe's stomach. She breathed out slowly, lining up with Poe's. 

_Be with me_ , Rey thought. She tried to picture the Jedi gathered around her, showing her how to direct her life force flowing to her palm on top of Poe's abdomen.

_Be with me…_

It came naturally with the snake, an inner voice coaxing Rey to direct what she needed.

_Energy flowed through…gnarled skeletal fingers fleshed out…_

It flowed out of her fingers and into a man she thought could be much more.

_A dyad in the Force, a power like life itself…_

Her fingers were numb right now, Poe's body was motionless under her palm, Finn breathing rapidly, anxiously, next to her.

_We stand behind you…_

Where are they? She called. She _called_ but they left her. He left her. They all did.

"…Rey?" 

_Rey…come back…I can't let you do this…_

_…Be—?_

Above Poe's head, the datapad _shrieked_.

Rey jerked back, nearly falling off the edge of the bed.

"Did I…is he?" Rey clutched her hand in a claw-like grip with her other. She stared at Poe. 

"Is he all right? Did I…" Rey couldn't finish. Her chest seized as the datapad squealed out vitals she couldn't understand.

Finn yanked the datapad off the bed board. He scanned the screen, his left hand slipped over Poe's heart, fingers tapping as if playing out a beat for Poe to follow.

_…hold on…hold on…_

Echoes of thoughts spun around Rey's head, other people's feelings, but she was still alone. 

Finn exhaled.

"Wasn't you," Finn assured Rey unsteadily. He picked up a small gray pouch that sat between Finn's chair and the side of Poe's bed. He pulled out a medical scanner, which he swept over Poe's torso. His hand shook as the scanner lingered over Poe's heart.

"The radiation from the hyperdrive generator…" Finn's mouth set. "That was the worst damage. Lesions kept forming and rupturing inside. There's never been a chance for him to stop and heal completely."

The medical device chimed. 

Finn squinted at it.

After a long beat, Finn's shoulders slumped. He exhaled, a _whoosh_ through the nose. The scanner lowered. Finn tucked it away and pulled out a syringe.

Rey averted her eyes as Finn tugged down Poe's covers the rest of the way. Clothing rustled. A quiet burble of a needle drawing in medicine. Finn's mutterings under his breath as he talked himself through the steps.

Poe roused, his voice groggy, then pained after the hiss of an emptied needle. Finn talked low, close to Poe's ear. He rested his forehead against Poe's. They stayed like this, breathing like it was for each other.

Finn finally pulled back with a drawn-out sigh.

"It's not too bad," Poe rasped. Rey wasn't sure if Poe was trying to reassure Finn, Rey, or himself. 

"Get some sleep," Finn murmured as he fixed the covers. He gave the used syringe in his hand a faint look of distaste before tossing it back into the pouch.

"Regas might comm…"

"I'll get it."

"I should…"

"If she comms, I'll get you."

Poe sighed. "No, you won't."

"No, I won't," Finn admitted. A rustling as Finn rearranged blankets some more. "But next time. All right? Just sleep. Please."

Rey's hand crept over to touch the tips of Poe's fingers on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Rey whispered. "I tried." A stitch caught in her throat; her voice went strange. "I'm not sure why I can't…I'm sorry."

Poe didn't answer; he was asleep again.

Finn brushed a dark curl off Poe's brow. He skimmed Poe's throat with a thumb again. He watched Poe, watched him breathe, watched the datapad as the vitals steadied on the screen.

"Finn."

Finn rose to his feet, his hesitation evident as he lingered by the bed.

"Let's talk outside," Finn said at last. He stepped out, not checking to see if Rey followed.

+++

After the quiet in the room, the loud siren-like beep was a shock.

"Oh no," Finn muttered. "Rose took BeeBee Ate to download flight patterns for the M3 droids. I forgot to make sure someone alerts BeeBee Ate."

A white and orange blur raced towards them. It looked like the droid was about to be upended by the uneven jungle ground. 

With a violent splash of mud, the droid skidded to a stop by their feet.

"BeeBee," Finn tried. He winced at the rapid beeps and boops. "You're going too fast."

Even Rey has trouble translating; she only caught snatches of Poe's name.

Finn, however, appeared to have caught enough to guess what the astromech wanted.

"He's resting. We should let him—"

The disagreement was shrill. 

Finn clapped his hands over his ears. 

It looked like BeeBee Ate was going to vibrate the domed head off the magnetic connectors. The droid shook by Rey's feet. 

"BeeBee Ate," Rey tried to calm BeeBee Ate down. "You should wait…"

Finn's head jerked up towards their quarters. He ducked back into the room. 

A few words were exchanged. Finn came back out with a resigned look.

"Come in."

Rey waited outside. She heard Finn's low and careful words. BeeBee Ate chirped soft and tentative to Poe's gravelly responses. Poe chided BeeBee Ate, asking where the hell Beebee Ate picked up that language. Rey lost the droid's reply when she took a deep breath. The buzzing was in her ears now, rattling to get out.

Finn stepped out alone. He smiled tightly at Rey.

"BeeBee Ate's going to stay with him."

"New mission?" Rey asked lightly. It was meant to be a tease, but Finn's face fell.

This time, Rey pulled Finn into a hug. She thought about how Finn's hand shook as he held up the back of Poe's jacket. And she thought about how the buzzing in her mind grew louder when Poe looked at her, pleading to her not to tell Finn the truth.

"Walk with me," Rey requested. 

Finn appeared too tired to argue. He gave the room one last look before he trailed behind Rey with heavy steps.

+++

The path was familiar; she could walk the path relying on muscle memory in the dark.

Rey sensed Finn behind her, following without registering where she was leading him. He trusted her. He came back for her in the Starkiller base. When she transmitted the path to Exegol. Finn followed. And Poe followed Finn. Then by proxy, everyone else followed.

And here was her Finn, the origin of it all, dutifully following her deeper into the jungle even though she sensed his heart was behind them.

Rey stopped at the large tree bridge where Finn had told her and rejected her.

"Oh." Finn breathed out. "I haven't been here since..."

Rey turned halfway towards Finn, her hand extended.

"Come on."

Finn stared at Rey for a moment. His mouth curled up, briefly, but he couldn't hold its shape. He looked so tired, yet so trusting; war-weary eyes on a young, wondering face.

Rey smiled wanly. "I won't let you fall. I am a Jedi."

Finn grunted a laugh. Sort of. Every sound he's made since Poe's frightening collapse died quickly as if all his energy was spent by Poe's bedside. 

It was a reversal of what BeeBee Ate once confided to Rey. After the Starkiller's destruction, the droid worried as Poe worried, waiting by a man he only knew less than a day in total. 

Rey told BeeBee Ate that for some, it was enough for a lifetime. Poor BeeBee Ate chirped back, confused. The numbers didn't compute.

Many things can't be explained, Rey explained. Like why Rey won yet, it also felt like she lost. 

"Caught Poe trying to get on this once. After you left for Tatooine," Finn explained. He tested the bridge with a solid stamp of his boot. He nodded when the tree trunk didn't creak. 

"The fool needed to talk to me, and it needed to be on this bridge." Finn shook his head. "Said it was a bridge for important discussions."

Rey watched Finn's hesitant footing before she made her own way to the center. 

"What did he wanted to talk to you about?" Rey asked. She sat down in the middle.

Finn nearly lost his balance when he barked out a laugh. He gingerly sat down next to Rey.

"Who knows? I went to meet him, saw him balancing on the bridge. I shouted a warning. Poe startled and fell face down on the bridge. I almost had a heart attack."

Rey snickered. "I thought pilots don't have a problem with heights."

"He's always said it's not the heights. It's the crashes he has issues with."

Finn's amusement faded. His shoulders slumped. He stared over the bridge to the loud rushing water below.

"How bad is it?" Rey asked

"It's not great," Finn said shortly. "His insides got sliced up by his own rib that broke off. A lightsaber would have done less damage." His jaw worked. "By the time I got there, he already gave the order to prioritize the two bacta tanks we have to Connix and Kenth. Kalonia did the best she could. His wounds healed, but inside, the radiation..."

"Full immersion," Rey guessed. "Internal and deep injuries like those require bacta and rest."

"Which he didn't get," Finn grated out. "We didn't have what we needed to keep him under. And every time he tries to lie down, another kriffing..."

Finn clamped a hand over his mouth. He breathed out through his nose. Once. Twice. But when he lowered his hand, the frown was still there.

"Poe made you co-general," Rey pointed out. "Couldn't you have taken over for him?"

"Tried," Finn said, clipped. "Didn't go too well."

Finn stared down at his hands. Rey waited. 

"Took days for word of Exegol to spread throughout the galaxy. More time for people to truly believe it wasn't just rumor. Took days for Poe and me to find all the senators left after the Starkiller and there were all these special elections to replace the ones we lost."

Finn rubbed a hand over his head. His jaw clenched, trying to shape the words that needed to be said.

"You two were busy," Rey offered. 

Finn snorted. "Too busy. It didn't occur to me what could happen. I think it did for Maz and Poe. He was suddenly focused on promoting and recruiting for the Resistance. I thought it was strange. I didn't even, I mean, I should have…"

With a growl, Finn peeled a curl of bark in the space between them. He tossed it over the bridge and glared at it as it fluttered down. When it vanished into the water below, his shoulders dropped. The display of anger was short-lived, but Rey sensed something worst remained.

"What is it?" Rey asked softly.

"Stormtroopers were being hunted down."

Rey stiffened. "What?"

"Holos started popping up of mobs capturing Stormtroopers, killing them, spacing them out of airlocks, and celebrating over their bloodied armor, helmets on pikes..."

Rey gripped Finn's closest knee.

"Poe tried to stop me from watching," Finn went on dully, "Said we needed to first establish the Resistance as a neutral defense force for the Republic, but I caught him watching those holos too. He was also going off with Beaumont to track down defectors to offer them sanctuary. He didn't think I knew."

"There was so much anger." Rey gave Finn's knee a gentle squeeze. "Those who could, joined the Resistance. Those who couldn't..."

"Poe thought if they knew one of the generals of the Resistance was an ex-Stormtrooper, putting up a face instead of the white mask, the killings would stop." Finn clenched his jaw.

"You didn't agree."

Finn's laugh was grating in the jungle's relative quiet. "We almost came to blows about it. Rose had to hydro sprayed both of us."

Rey snorted. "Smart Rose."

"Poe swore Rose got the water chilled on the planet Hoth."

Rey looked down at the churning water below them.

"So even after Poe's attack, you stayed as General Dameron, but this time for the holos..."

"Rose and her team figured out a way to change my hologram to Poe's so I could stand in for him. It's not perfect, but so far, no one figured it out. But there were times Poe insisted he did it himself or that both of us needed to be there and..."

Finn growled under his breath. 

"But you saw with Seegas before, Rey. It wouldn't have escalated that far if I wasn't there."

"Poe was angry on your behalf."

"Which he wouldn't have been if ex-Stormtrooper General Finn wasn't there in the first place!"

Rey pressed her lips together. She wasn't sure what she could offer. She wished Leia was here. She wanted Luke to emerge from the shadows, glowing and providing answers. 

"This isn't something I could levitate or swing a lightsaber at," Rey said by way of apology.

Finn's shoulders shook as he laughed. It was a sad imitation of the one Rey remembered, the one that made everyone around him smile in return. This one made her want to cry. Or hug Finn. Or both.

"Don't let Poe hear you. He has a list of politicians he wants to toss naked into a Sarlaac."

Rey snickered because yes, she suspected there was such a list.

It was a brief reprieve. Their mirth bounced among the jungle and got lost in the roaring of the water below. The crevice was deep, too deep to catch the sunlight. No rainbows.

"What am I going to do, Rey?"

Rey shrugged a shoulder.

"You don't have an answer in the Force?"

Finn sounded angry. 

"You would know if you let me train you," Rey returned, her voice even.

"You and Poe are the closest family I have." Finn grimaced. "The thought of hurting either one of you wasn't acceptable." 

Finn stretched out his legs to let his feet dangle over the bridge. He let them swing idly.

"I wasn't saying no to you," Finn said at last. "I was saying no to the Force." 

Rey copied Finn. Something was freeing about letting herself out of the meditative pose. She vaguely recalled sitting this way, swinging her feet as she sat on a seat too tall for her feet to touch the ground.

"It felt like you were saying no to me," Rey confessed. "I faced my darkest fears and conquered them. I thought it meant I was truly a Jedi, but it also meant I was the last one." 

Rey swallowed. "Luke told me the Jedi stands alone but is never alone, but the longer I stayed on base, the more alone I felt. When you told me you were Force-sensitive, I thought it meant I wasn't alone anymore. That I wasn't the last. The last true Skywalker didn't sacrifice everything to save me."

Next to Rey, Finn scoffed.

"What?"

"You're an idiot." Finn shook his head. "It's reassuring to know Jedis can be as dumb as nerfs, too."

"We're not too high up," Rey threatened. "I will push you off this thing. It wouldn't take much."

"You were never alone." Finn flicked a twig at Rey. "You think Poe and I would ever let you think that?" 

Rey stared at Finn as something dawned on her.

"BeeBee Ate." Rey narrowed her eyes. "BeeBee Ate said a new mission. I was the previous mission, wasn't I? When BeeBee Ate followed me to Tatooine."

"That was Poe's idea. That droid of his was whining to go with you. Poe said poor BeeBee Ate was frying a chip because leaving Poe behind wasn't appealing either."

Rey shook her head. "Poe gave BeeBee Ate a mission."

"Uh-huh, keep you company and make sure to alert us if there was anything we need to be there for." Finn shrugged. 

Rey thought about the soft trilling always behind her, reminding her that among the sands and the stars, she wasn't truly alone.

"The holos you two sent back helped too," Rey admitted. "When they stopped, I was confused. It felt like maybe I should stay away, but another part of me said I needed to come back. Even BeeBee Ate was worried when R2D2 stopped sending updates."

"I'm glad you came back," Finn said. "We knew you would. Eventually. But..." Finn took a deep breath. "Really glad you came back now." He swallowed hard.

Rey shuffled closer. She bumped her shoulder against Finn's.

"All this time," Rey murmured. "I thought you two avoided me because you were angry that I left. But you meant it when you said you understood."

Finn bumped back. "We were worried about you. You never said much about Exegol."

"I told you what happened. I…" Rey's throat worked. "He saved me after I struck down Palpatine. My grandfather."

"That's what you told us." Finn kicked Rey's swinging feet. "That's all you told us."

"Because that's all there was!"

Rey's words lashed out and disappeared into the water below.

Rey took a steadying breath.

"Nothing else happened," Rey said calmly. "He came back from the Dark side, saved me, and returned to the Force."

Finn nodded to himself.

"And that's why we understood when you said you needed to leave."

Rey stared at Finn's profile. "You understood?"

Finn's head bobbed again.

"I thought I understood." Rey watched their feet kick in the air at the same time. "But the longer I stayed away, the more conflicted I felt. Staying away was as hard as coming back."

"I'm glad you did," Finn breathed. "Rey, I…I could use some of that Jedi, Force, anything right now because I'm…" Finn exhaled sharply and roughly wiped a hand across his eyes. 

"Of course, this is where I'll be." 

Finn smiled watery at Rey. 

"Thanks," Finn rasped. He took a deep breath and blew it out through his mouth.

Rey waited until Finn composed himself before adding, "I wouldn't want to miss the wedding."

Finn sputtered. Rey grabbed his arm before he tilted forward too far.

"What? Wed—what?" Finn managed. He gaped at Rey.

Rey tapped Finn's nose with a finger. "You said no to the Force, but it also meant you said yes to Poe."

"Y-yes to—what?"

"Poe made you co-general," Rey reminded him. Finn's eyes were as round as the spice biscuits. "General Dameron."

Finn ducked his head. "That was a strategic move," he mumbled.

Rey hummed.

"It was," Finn insisted. "If we could split the attention off..." He glowered at Rey.

"Shut up," Finn grumped. He faced the water again.

Rey took pity on Finn. She patted Finn on the knee and went back to swinging her feet, matching Finn's rhythm.

After a beat, Finn ventured, "Was it that obvious?"

Rey hummed a tuneless sound.

Finn muttered under his breath. 

"We thought we could wait. The Republic needed to be secured in the galaxy before we could…you know." 

Finn's shoulders slumped. "We thought there was time. When it was done…I thought we have time. We should have time. But the senators, the Stormtroopers…We won, but it didn't feel like we won. Then after the bomb..."

"Now, I only want him to be okay," Finn croaked. "I can wait."

Rey disagreed, but she needed to talk to Poe first. 

"Meditate with me," Rey suggested as she folded her legs. At Finn's frown, Rey held up a hand. "It's not training. It's something that might help your thoughts."

"Meditation," Finn said ruefully, "requires a lot more energy and focus I can spare right now. Might end up falling asleep."

"Concentrate on one thing," Rey advised. She poked Finn's shoulder. "You could focus on Poe and that uniform. It was very flattering."

Finn coughed. "Used to fit him better, but he's lost so much—" He whipped his head around at Rey's snort.

"I'll push you," Finn growled. It would have been believable if it weren't for the darkening tint on his ears.

"You could try," Rey said. She tossed her head up. "You would fail."

Finn grumbled, but dutifully copied Rey's sitting pose.

"Calm your thoughts." Rey reached over and squeezed Finn's fists until they loosened. "Think about how it'll be all right. Think of how Poe will be all right."

Finn took a deep breath.

After a second, Rey's eyes slid shut to follow.

If the meditation helped, neither mentioned it.


	9. Chapter 9

_"...ridiculous to think you can be in two places at once."_

_He grunted as he finished his pre-flight checks. He waved off Lev and Gabe, hovering behind him._

_"It's fine, it's fine," he muttered. The two baby pilots stepped back._

_"What?"_

_"Not you." He rolled his eyes. "These shuttles were made before they were born. I can fly these ships with my eyes closed."_

_"Please don't," Finn chuckled._

_Finn's rumble was a sweet sensation in his ear. The prototype interior comlink was an awkward fit, but the clarity was astounding. Rose Tico was a genius. It was like Finn was whispering in his ear and—oh, better stop thinking about that._

_"Besides," he said, louder in hopes parts of his body would calm down. Out of the corner of his eye, Connix exchanged a grin with Kenth in the side passenger seats._

_"I am literally in two places at once." He waggled his eyebrows even though Finn couldn't see him. "General Dameron."_

_Finn sighed and stars, that sound rippled down his spine and pooled hot in his groin. No, no, no. Pre-flight checks. Think nice boring pre-flight checks._

_"Speaking of which," he went on. The propulsion engines began to growl out a grating noise. Hm, he'd better ask Rose to look at the engines later. He hated these light craft models._

_"How're the negotiations going, General Dameron?"_

_"Platoon leader is scared," Finn said, his amusement gone. "Saw the holo from the Lillorian settlements."_

_"From yesterday?" He frowned at his console. Huh. That's a new sound._

_"No, a new one. HoloNet broadcasted it an hour ago."_

_His gut went cold. "Kriff."_

_"Yeah. Beaumont thinks we should send an operative to Lilloria."_

_"Only if he thinks the operative will get back safely to us," he countered. He gritted his teeth. Sending people on secret missions wasn't as fun as being in one—well, maybe 'fun' wasn't an accurate description._

_The shuttle rattled as it lifted off. He adjusted for turbulence. The thick cloud layer above them promised a rocky flight._

_Call him weird, but he was looking forward to it._

_"We'll talk back on base. Keep your eyes and ears open."_

_"You too. No lightspeed skipping, please."_

_"Me?" he scoffed half-heartedly. "Actually, you know what? That's not a bad idea. Show these kids how it's done."_

_"General," Connix groaned from his right as she buckled into the side passenger bench._

_He waved a hand at his Ops officer. "I won't, I won't."_

_"I'm almost done here," Finn promised. "Meet you back in about an hour?"_

_He strapped into his flight harness with one hand as his other hand flicked the toggles to prime the hyperdrive generator. It started to hum. "I'll save you the equipment reports."_

_"Thank you," Finn said dryly. "Save me a bowl of that red grain if Mess makes it again."_

_"Your wish is my command, general." He smacked a palm over the board. All the lights went gree—nope, oops, one more. He hit the console harder and there, good to go._

_"We need to find a budget for new shuttles," he grumbled. The shuttle hovered before the burners opened in full to break out of atmo._

_"More refreshers or better crafts," Finn chuckled._

_He found himself smiling in return. It was good to hear Finn laugh again._

_"The last thing we need is another mass stomach sick incident. Two squadrons down and only three refreshers left working."_

_"I know, don't remind me," he grumbled._

_Finn snickered. "Chewie swore he could smell it all the way up in the Falcon before entry."_

_He groaned. "That's the last time I let Darco Lightstone make one of their secret recipes."_

_The shuttle trembled as its nose pointed to the sky. The hyperdrive gauge lit green. The atmo grew opaque, a blanket of stars started to stretch across to greet him._

_"Maybe I should try," he muttered. "Sna—Someone taught me how to make those stuffed eggs from the moon settlements I told you about."_

_"Sure," Finn agreed, easily, readily, and so hopeful. "Just tell me where and when."_

_Maybe they could make it work. Maybe tonight, over dinner, he would broach the subject. Maybe Finn will ask again. Maybe this time he'll say yes._

_He ran his tongue over his lower lip. He waited for the environs to engage, the noisy oxygen circulators to settle so he could be heard._

_"Uh…how about tonight?"_

_"Yeah." Finn didn't hesitate. His voice warmed a degree. "Tonight sounds great." Finn took a deep breath. "In fact, it's about tim—"_

_"Hold up." He tilted his head towards the strange noise, pitching louder in the back. "Wait."_

_"Poe?"_

_The sound was reed-thin, a note barely audible under the generator's rotors churning out the energy._

_But it was there, and it didn't sound right._

_He pulled back the lever. The shuttle lurched. Connix slammed back into her seat when he made an abrupt turn back to the surface. She squeaked._

_"Emergency descent procedures. Aborting lightspeed—"_

_"Poe! What's going on?"_

_"General?" Lev wiggled out of his seat in the back. Gabe started shrugging out of his harness._

_"Stay in your seats!" he barked. The whining was drowning out Finn's frantic voice in his ear. "Brace for—"_

_When the explosion happened, fire scorched through his bones. Pain turned everything inside him into liquid._

_All was left was the screaming in his ears._

+++

The cot creaked when Rey shot up. She panted as she scanned her tent.

The smell of ozone and blood sat on her skin like an oily film. She took a deep breath. 

The sensations faded, but something else remained: an echo of pain and terror.

Rey cradled her head with a hand. Another deep breath and she searched.

_What's happening to me?_

The net Rey cast caught random bursts of light in the Force, but they were anchored to the planet, not beyond. 

_…loose sprawl on the cot, laughing and wheezing as Poe pretended to dance and charm a blaster rifle adorned with a cap made of dee-jak feathers. Poe waggled his brow and called it Senator Regas…_

Rey sensed Kin, hurrying, his thoughts precise and oddly methodical for a former history professor. 

_"NE-2587, general."_

_"…not today. Today, you're Neelsy."_

_"What's a Neelsy?"_

_"A new start."_

Rose was a rapid pulsing light, surrounded by a cluster of new lights. She appeared to be yelling. Something about the proper maintenance of a speeder.

_"…like swimming in a sea of stars," he said and watched Finn smile like the universe itself. "I'll take you there. Soon."_

_"You better," Finn murmured._

Rey sucked in her breath. Her lungs burned. She held her breath as the splinters of thought, memory, and feeling flooded into her consciousness. She flailed, reached for the pair brightest and dearest to her to pull her out of the riptide.

Finn, as always, was a steady signal fixed in the Force like a guiding star. Poe's flashy light often orbited Finn's, which amused Rey, but today it was muted, at the edges of the Force as if straying.

Rey dressed quickly and hurried out. There was no basket waiting. 

She refused to see this as a sign.

+++

There was no droid guarding the door, but Rey hesitated at the door.

"It's Rey," Rey called out after a knock. "Are you decent?"

"Never," Poe replied cheerfully.

"Just come in," Finn groaned.

Rey stepped into the room. She paused, taking in the surroundings.

Poe was sitting up in his bed, his officer's jacket draped over his shoulders and what looked like a few layers of clothing. He held a pile of datapads on his covered legs. Finn was in the same seat as yesterday; he balanced a similar collection on his lap. 

"Reports," Finn explained. He squinted at Poe. "Someone got up way too early this morning and insisted he needed to finish reviewing all of them. And when I say he, I mean we."

Rey's lips thinned when she noticed the purplish bruises under Poe's eyes. They were darker than yesterday.

Poe cautiously lifted a shoulder.

"He's better with the details anyway," Poe said. His red-rimmed eyes slid away.

Rey arched an eyebrow at BeeBee Ate, who approached her with a basket balanced on the domed head.

"Spice biscuits," Poe explained. "Got you some."

"Actually, those are yours," Finn corrected smoothly. He nodded to a similar basket at a crate that sat at the foot of Poe's bed. "That's Rey's."

BeeBee Ate bleated and wove back to Poe. The droid threw a series of biting chirps at Poe.

"Language," Poe chided as he claimed the basket with apparent reluctance. "No more hanging out with those M3 units. I knew the red one was shifty."

Finn frowned as Poe set the basket down by the datapads.

"Want something else?" Finn asked under his breath.

Poe's jaw clenched. "It's fine."

"Mess also made—"

"It's fine," Poe repeated between his teeth.

Rey looked down at her basket. The silence hung over them, stealing oxygen.

"Right," Finn said shortly. "It's fine. Got it." He scowled down at the datapad he held white-knuckled.

Poe grimaced at Rey. 

Rey stared back, unblinking.

Poe exhaled.

"It's not a good day for it." Poe settled a hand over his middle. His head dropped back; he stared at the ceiling, his mouth pressed into a humorless smirk. "Maybe some of that protein water Kalonia whipped up?"

Finn's rigid posture eased. He nodded.

"Yeah. Sure. I'll go get it. Want it heated up?"

Poe made a face. "Better not, it goes down easier cold."

Finn's brow furrowed. "Maybe I should get—"

"Maybe not," Poe said firmly. "She's going to try to ease Kenth off the bacta sometime tomorrow and see how he responds. Let's give the good doctor a break today."

Finn sagged. He dropped a hand on Poe's shoulder. Poe briefly rested his jaw against Finn's knuckles, a silent apology that drew Rey's eyes down. It felt like she was intruding.

The moment didn't last long. The two exhaled, both sounding tired, so resigned. Rey's eyes pricked.

"Stay with him for a bit?" Finn smiled wearily to Rey.

Rey shrugged. "I have nothing else better to do today."

"Make sure he doesn't have an urge to use the refresher on his own again. BeeBee Ate was pretty mad to catch him hobbling his way back to bed yesterday."

Rey frowned mildly. "He probably looked ridiculous."

"He's also right here," Poe grumbled. "I smelled like a nerf. My hair was doing weird things. I wanted a shower."

BeeBee Ate trilled rapidly. Poe flushed. Two spots of red rose on his pale face.

Finn frowned. "I didn't catch all that."

"BeeBee said Poe wouldn't have gotten very clean if he fell, face down and bare ass in the shower," Rey translated.

Finn coughed. "Oh. Uh. Yeah, the protein water. Be right back."

Rey smirked at BeeBee Ate as Finn beat a hasty retreat.

"Alone at last," Poe murmured lightly. 

BeeBee Ate squawked.

"Sorry, buddy," Poe stretched out a hand to stroke BeeBee's main curved body, but at the last minute, he winced, and his arm dropped. "Why don't you help Finn?"

An inquisitive whistle.

"It's fine. No walking by myself. Rey could levitate me to the refresher, all right?"

The droid rolled closer to Poe and cooed. Poe gently flicked the antenna. BeeBee Ate moved back and forth indecisively until Poe urged the droid to help Finn.

The room fell silent after BeeBee Ate steered out of the room.

Rey studied Poe.

Poe gazed back.

"You didn't tell him," Poe said evenly. It was both a question and a statement. 

Rey's eyes burned. "That you're far worse than everyone thought? No, I didn't, but I'm certain Finn suspects."

"At least you're here." Poe's mouth was twisted. "Just in case."

Rey scowled. "I am a poor substitute, Poe Dameron." Her jaw dropped.

"No, no, no, wait, we're not…" 

Poe gazed back, waiting.

"What Finn told me back then wasn't that. It..." Rey bit her lower lip. She checked the door, but no one was there. "He wanted to tell me that—" 

"That he's Force-sensitive?"

Rey blinked.

"You knew?"

"Guessed," Poe corrected Rey. 

Poe sat back, his hands folded over his stomach. It seemed Poe wasn't going to elaborate. When he spoke up again, his voice dropped to a rasp.

"After the explosion, we went into free fall. I took off my harness to reach the correctional landing controls to reroute back to the main steering."

Poe winced, his eyes distant.

"We didn't have main engines anymore, but I could at least try to control the descent."

_Oxygen ripped past him and out the torn durasteel…_

_Kaydel and Inx stopped screaming._

"I collided into the controls when the craft rolled belly up. Felt a rib completely snap off."

_…he couldn't breathe, only choke as something moved unnaturally inside his body. He clawed the steering stick, his boots skidded as gravity slipped. He held on to the controls, waiting for the lights to blink green._

_The gauge crawled up. Forty. Fifty. Fifty si—_

_It felt like a sharp dagger punched through his stomach from the inside. He couldn't even scream…_

_Pearls of blood, his blood, floated up in front of him. Suddenly, it was all he could see…_

"That bomb ripped a hole. The generator's radiation kriff up the artificial grav. I dumped the generator. We lost pressure faster than I could seal it. Suction started pulling everything out, including my rib right through my body."

Poe exhaled as if he was still there. 

Rey breathed out as well. She could hear the generators shrieking in her ears, vibrating until it felt like her entire body shook apart. 

"Thought for sure I was going to be rattling around like a rigged die or become a splat on Delos V."

Rey's throat barely let her speak. She could see blood droplets floating weightless between them.

"Thank Force, you weren't pulled out of the ship," Rey croaked.

"It wasn't the Force." 

Rey's eyes flew to Poe.

"Pretty sure it was Finn," Poe murmured. "Felt, no, heard, Finn scream my name. Suddenly the panel went all green. I was stuck to my seat like I was bonded to it. "

"He saved your life." Rey moved restlessly. "He wanted to tell you, but I think he was afraid because of before when you were..." She caught Poe's pinched look; she wiggled her fingers in the air around her head instead.

"Why is it," Poe complained, "whenever I do that, I look like an idiot, but whenever you or Finn do that, it looks mysterious?"

Rey rounded back her shoulders. "It's a Jedi thing."

Poe narrowed his eyes at Rey. He almost looked cross-eyed.

Rey shrugged. "Or it could be you."

Poe harrumphed. 

Rey approached Poe's bed. She gingerly sat down by his legs.

"I tried to…" Rey held up her hand. Her cheeks burned as she shook her head.

Rey stared at her own hand. "I'm sorry. This should work. I don't know why it didn't work." 

"It's okay," Poe murmured.

No, it wasn't, but Rey couldn't think of what else she could offer.

"There must be another way."

Poe nodded jerkily. A few datapads slid off his lap.

"Kalonia took some more scans while you and Finn were talking yesterday. The damage..." Poe winced. "More surgery and at least two weeks in the bacta tank." 

Rey breathed out slowly. "That doesn't sound too bad."

"It's a maybe, Rey." Poe smiled grimly. "We're talking about maybe. Kalonia gave me the numbers. Even to a hotshot pilot, those sounded like bad odds."

"Finn could take over after you go under. However long the recovery takes, he'll—"

"Finn won't do it."

"You don't trust Finn?" Immediately, Rey knew that wasn't it. "Finn doesn't trust himself."

Poe wearily rubbed his brow. "Everyone was busy trying to figure out what to do when an entire totalitarian government was wiped out. And we were trying to figure out who we are now that there was no one to resist." 

With a scowl, Poe gestured to the datapads around his bed. 

"But people began worrying we were going to step into the First Order's shoes. The heroes of the stories became the monsters of the tale."

Rey stared open-mouthed.

Poe met Rey's eyes, his lips tilting up at one side.

"Finn had that same look, you know. He couldn't believe it. He was sure everyone was going to embrace us with open arms. But while we were trying to spread reassurances, some used Finn's past as proof our intentions weren't good."

Rey's nostrils flared. "That's—"

Poe held up a hand. "No one on the base used Finn's past against him, but out there, the damage was done. All over the galaxy, people started hunting down the remaining pockets of the First Order. And the more we tried to rescue, the more everyone thought we were trying to be a new galactic power."

"Stormtroopers," Rey murmured. "Finn said they were killing Stormtroopers." 

"How many more Finns and Jannahs are out there, Rey?" Poe looked anguished. "How many had no choice? All those conscripted kids. Finn wanted to find them, show them there's another path. Those senators were so fixated on who Finn used to be and not who he is now."

Rey sighed. "So, Finn pulled back."

"He shouldn't have," Poe muttered. "He even offered to give up his rank." 

Rey picked at the blanket over Poe's legs. There were two tucked around him, but she could feel the chill from his body.

"Finn turned over the mission to Jannah after the bombing. She and Lando were mostly successful, but lately, they're struggling with the growing vigilante attacks. Finn's been posing as me each time I can't…" Poe shook his head. 

"I thought if I held on a little longer until Finn felt more confident about his position, then I could take a step back, temporarily relinquish command to Finn."

Poe glared at the datapads around him. He looked like he debated throwing them.

"You saw what happened with Seegas, Rey. He barely looked at Finn and the garbage he said…Finn didn't even fight back. That's not him. That's not our Finn."

"But you're getting worse." Rey curled a hand into the bed. She relaxed her grip when she realized she pulled the blankets down from Poe's shoulders. She tried to fix them but stopped when Poe frowned. 

"How long do you think you can keep doing this?"

Poe closed his eyes and breathed deep. He grimaced and opened his eyes again. There was an ironic twist to his lips, dark humor lit in his eyes that left him looking hollow.

"Always thought I would go out in some spectacular crash or battle." Poe held up a datapad. "Dying flat on my back? Who would have thought?"

Rey couldn't think of how to respond. Shouldn't she have a kernel of wisdom for him? Her eyes cast about the room. 

Their room was the size of two tents. The two beds, the crate with a blue tarp over it, a clutter of metal parts by a charging station, a forgotten mug set on top of an incomplete wall shelf; They all spoke to Rey. 

Finn was right: there should have been more time.

"What can I do?" Rey murmured. She bit her lower lip. "Poe, this isn't something for a Jedi."

"I don't know," Poe muttered. "There are a few things I can think a Jedi could do better than me." He abruptly drew in his breath.

Datapads clattered to the floor when Poe's left leg spasmed. He swore, trying and failing to catch the lot before they spilled onto the floor.

"I got it," Poe said brusquely when Rey tried to help. "I said _I got it_." He slapped Rey's hand away, although calling it a slap was generous.

Rey set her mouth. She held back from helping until Poe doubled over his legs, gasping, his hands fisted into the covers. The medical device above him bleated.

The datapads shuddered as Rey floated them off the floor. She didn't touch Poe; Poe wouldn't welcome it right now. She concentrated on the dozen or so datapads, levitating them higher—

_…this wasn't what I wanted for us…_

The defeated voice, the deep timber, thrummed in Rey's mind. It sounded like Poe; it sounded like Be—

The datapads slammed into the ceiling above Poe.

Poe and Rey stared at the devices embedded halfway into the rock ceiling.

"…or you can get them," Poe said faintly, his eyes on the datapads.

A tickle wiggled in the base of Rey's throat. She clamped her lips together.

Poe snorted.

Rey sucked in her cheeks; the tickle was desperate to escape. She tore her eyes away from the datapads. 

"You look like a constipated porg," Poe observed.

"Stop it," Rey managed out. "It's not funny."

"Come on. It's a little funny."

The two looked at each other, and that was the end of it.

It's true. It wasn't funny. It _wasn't_. But as Rey collapsed against Poe, the giggles wouldn't stop. Poe snorted, coughed, making all the messy noises of hysteria.

It was ridiculous. It was utterly inappropriate. 

Rey hugged Poe, hugged him until their tears of laughter dried up into a reality neither one of them wanted.

They calmed, too breathless to chuckle when the datapads dropped back to the ground one by one like ripe tree fruit. 

Rey helped Poe back to sitting up on the bed. He watched her as she picked up the devices by hand this time. She carefully left the stack in the gap between Poe's legs and the wall.

"Thanks." Poe pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. He drew in a breath, but it stuttered. He ended up exhaling instead.

"Should I…" Rey hedged.

"No." The previous cheer was gone from Poe's tone. He gulped, pulling his hands down.

"Sorry." Poe gestured to the datapads. "Sorry about…yea. Sorry."

Rey shrugged. She stared at Poe's covered legs.

"I don't know what's happening to me," Rey said, low. "Everything's all wrong."

"Thought Tatooine was going to help with that." Poe pinched the bridge of his nose. "Guess _I_ was wrong."

Rey slanted a frown towards Poe. She pursed her lips. "Not everything falls on you, General Dameron."

Poe grunted but didn't comment.

Rey sighed. She drew up her legs, her knees tucked under her chin, folded in a precarious balance at the end of Poe's bed. She wrapped her arms around her legs. She stared over her knees at Poe.

"Is…is there anything I can do?" Rey ventured hesitantly.

Poe grimaced wearily at Rey. "Don't leave?"

Rey's chin lowered. She couldn't meet his eyes anymore. 

"I thought I needed to. I'm so—"

"Please don't apologize again," Poe groaned. "I can't hug you; you're too far away."

"Then how about _I_ hug you?"

Rey unwound from her position and drew closer. She carefully wrapped her arms around Poe's shoulders.

Poe huffed as he dropped his face into the crook of her shoulder. He looped a trembling arm around Rey's waist.

"I'm staying," Rey murmured. She rested her cheek against Poe's head. "But you have to stay, too."

"I'm trying." Poe sounded frustrated. 

Rey kneaded Poe's shoulders to smooth out the tremors she felt coursing down Poe's back. She swallowed when her fingers were able to count the knobby topography of Poe's spine. 

"Try harder," Rey whispered fiercely into Poe's ear.

Poe said nothing. Rey knew it was because he didn't want to lie. 

Rey stayed in their embrace. She imagined a bit of her life force seeping into her friend's skin through her hands splayed on his back. But her hands stayed her hands; nothing flowed past her palms and into Poe. 

_What do I do?_ Rey pleaded, but no one replied. She squeezed her eyes shut. 

_Be here with me. Please._

Rey's lips pressed together. Her head rang empty, like a yawning castle hallway stretching forever before her. But no one called to her. No echoes. The Force thrummed with life, but not with her.

"Aren't you glad I took that shower?" Poe mumbled a few moments later.

Rey choked out a laugh. She pressed her eyes into her friend's shoulder.


	10. Chapter 10

_"I'll do it."_

_The fatigue fled when he saw the shaving blade in the nurse's hand._

_Segl checked with Kalonia._

_"It's fine," Kalonia said. "You could assist me with the general's bacta."_

_He almost jumped in to offer to do that as well. The thought they stripped Poe waist down every two hours to apply the thick layer of bacta chafed._

_"Almost done," he told Poe's slack face. "When Beaumont gets here with that bacta tank, no more of this, all right?"_

_The lack of reply hurt._

_He shook off the twisting in his stomach. He ignored the sounds of sterile clothing being removed and the quiet professional murmurs on the other side of the curtain hanging over Poe's chest._

_Shave. He offered to do Poe's shave._

_Poe's jaw was malleable under his grip as he gently turned Poe's face. The shaving blade whirred as they trimmed the bristly beard down to the close stubble Poe favored._

_"Going prematurely gray there, old man," he joked, but it fell flat when Poe's head simply lolled towards him. He cupped the rough jaw. He swallowed hard._

_"Wait five more minutes," Kalonia advised Segl from behind the partition. "I want to try giving the bacta more time to work."_

_He clenched his jaw but didn't comment. When Kin gets here, it won't matter._

_He rubbed a thumb under the seam of Poe's lower lip. The skin that dipped into the chin was soft. He'd wondered how Poe's mouth would feel in contrast to the roughness of the jaw._

_"This wasn't how I wanted to find out," he said, his voice shakier than he could afford._

_It was because it was an unproductive meeting, he told himself. Not because the skin under his palm felt colder each day. No, it was because Hiz and Regas kept demanding to speak with Poe and not with "the likes of you."_

_They're bolder with the insults when Poe wasn't around. He was running out of excuses as to why Poe was too busy to see them._

_Poe was briefly conscious after Kalonia's ten-hour surgery. He whispered, unable to pull in enough air to speak, asking about Kaydel and Inx. He stressed the attack must be kept under wraps._

_"Poe did that for you. After Starkiller." Kalonia smiled gently. She pointed with a finger circling his face. "The last of your suppressants worn off while you were unconscious. You grew an impressive beard."_

_He remembered waking up surprised his cheeks was smooth. That surprise was replaced by the wonder of Poe sleeping in a chair by him, softly snoring through a congested nose._

_His hand skimmed Poe's jaw. A warm and aching feeling filled his chest._

_"Poe never said," he murmured. "Probably would have eventually."_

_"I'll make sure he has that chance," Kalonia promised._

_He nodded to acknowledge what she offered if not believing it. Not when the galaxy was determined to undo everything they've gained. They agreed to wait. But that day jumped further out of their reach with each uncooperative transmission._

_"Talked to you whenever he could." Kalonia scoffed. "Even confessed about the Folken kid. "_

_At his look, Kalonia clarified, "baby goat" She smirked. "For months, no one knew who was responsible for bringing that baby goat onto the base. "_

_Kalonia shook her head. "Pava claimed Wexley snuck it in. Wexley said it was Karé. Karé said it was Iolo."_

_He vaguely remembered Snap mentioned it once._

_"They're born pregnant, aren't they?"_

_Kalonia snorted. She wagged a finger at Poe._

_"No one could explain to Leia how one fuzzy yellow goat suddenly multiplied into nineteen within a week."_

_Segl barked out a laugh, his alien vocal cords making it sound like a dozen laughs._

_"Their milk made great cheese, though."_

_He gazed down at Poe._

_"Let me guess. It was Poe."_

_Kalonia nodded, chuckling._

_He combed a hand through Poe's curls. He pictured Poe cradling a baby goat in his lap, carefully flying his X-Wing back to base._

_He brushed his thumb over Poe's knuckles. They felt bloodless and cold._

_"Hold on," he murmured._

_"General."_

_Poe would hate lying here like this._

_"General Finn?"_

_There was so much Poe said he needed to do. Poe wanted them to be in command together. He meant to tell Poe he didn't need to do it alone. He didn't need to be like Le—_

_"Finn?"_

_Kalonia touched his elbow, pulling his thoughts away. He straightened up at the sight of Beaumont and Rose._

_"Did you…?"_

_His stomach dropped at Kin's head shake._

_"Suralinda was right." Beaumont bit out. "There were three journalists already there when I met the buyer. They asked me what the bacta was for. "_

_"One of them comm here asking for Connix," Rose said unsteadily. "Wanted to know what Kin found interesting in the Tre-He black markets and if it has anything to do with the rumors about Delos V?"_

_He tensed._

_"Rumors? What rumors?"_

_Beaumont's jaw clenched. "Word is out that Poe's bounty was no longer available. We're getting holos from the preliminary Senate demanding to know if something happened on Delos. "_

_General Lando warned him and Poe it could happen: the Resistance was on everyone's radar now, news on every HoloNet feed from the moment the Battle of Exegol was confirmed. They started out supportive, but Suralinda predicted the tide would turn against them sooner or later. Poe hoped it would be later. He thought it would never be._

_"Finn, what do we do?" Rose gazed at him._

_He turned back to Poe. He curled a hand over Poe's wrist and tried to decipher what Poe's weak pulse was trying to tell him._

_"We give them Poe Dameron." The idea turned around and round, gaining momentum in his head. "I was already Poe Dameron on the ground. Let the Senate have Poe Dameron, too."_

_Beaumont stared. "Using you as a diversionary target worked planetside, but the holos?"_

_"Rose?" He turned to Rose, his eyes pleading._

_"I could…" Rose worried her lower lip. "There may be a way to overlay Poe's holo over yours. It'll mean a slight delay in the transmission."_

_"How much a delay?"_

_Rose shot him a frown. "Minutes? Seconds? Finn, I won't know until we can figure it out. I need time."_

_"How much time?" He hated doing this to Rose, putting that furrow in her brow, but the longer Poe's pulse beat against his fingers, the more something told him to fix this. Now._

_"I don't know, uh, three days?"_

_"You have one." He grimaced at Rose's sputter. "We're running out of excuses. Any longer, they're going to end transmissions the moment they see my face. Hiz already does." He claimed it was because of unreliable satellites._

_"All right," Rose relented, but she looked unhappy._

_"Finn," Beaumont spoke up. "What about the defectors? How are you going to run interference as Poe and track down the defectors at the same time?"_

_He closed his eyes. He swallowed hard. He thought about the eight they took in on Delos. Two were even younger than he was when he first met Poe._

_"I can't," he said finally. "Comm Jannah. Ask her to come back. She wanted to help."_

_Rose looked pained. "Finn, the defections, the Stormtroopers? You made this your mission. Jannah is not you—"_

_"But she's also a former Stormtrooper," he cut Rose off. His words hurt coming out. "She'll find them, the ones who want to turn themselves in. She'll convince them it's safe. I need to be here."_

_Poe's pulse beat faster against his fingers. When he turned to check, murky brown eyes cracked open._

_"Kalonia," he rasped. "He's awake."_

_"'ey," Poe slurred. "'uess we need a new sh…uttle after all."_

_He breathed out through his nose, chuckling unsteadily as Kalonia elbowed past him. He didn't let go of Poe's hand._

_Poe tolerated Kalonia's fussing, his eyes rolling up to stare blankly at the ceiling as Segl took his vitals._

_All the while, Poe's hand twitched under the curl of his, shaking after Kalonia stepped back, vibrating as he helped Poe sit up in the bed._

_"Repo'…" Poe coughed. He gestured at Beaumont and Rose with his other hand._

_He studied Poe's face as Beaumont gave his intel report, and Rose told Poe about the bomb. Poe's expression stayed impassive, but Poe's hand cooled in his grip as the news continued._

_"Connix? Kenth?" Poe's gaze drifted to Kalonia._

_"They're responding to the bacta." Kalonia shook her graying head. "But it could be weeks before we know if the bacta immersion can treat radiation damage."_

_"If you hadn't ejected the hyperdrive generator so quickly," Rose said, "You all would have gotten a much higher dose of radiation."_

_"Thank the Force you somehow were exposed to far less," Kalonia went on._

_Poe's head lolled towards him. Poe's hand flexed inside his grip._

_"What is it?" he asked._

_"Lev? Gabe?"_

_His stomach dropped. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Beaumont and Rose's throats working._

_"They were seated in the back," he reminded Poe. "They…we sent the Blue squadron out. We recovered as much as we could. Poe, I'm sorry."_

_Poe closed his eyes. He nodded._

_His hand pulled out of their combined grasp._

_"All right," Poe said hoarsely. "All right." He turned to Kalonia._

_"How long before I can get out of here?"_

_Kalonia and the others' protests drowned out his._

_"Now wait a minute—"_

_"Poe, there's no nee—"_

_"We have to watch for lesions. The radiation—"_

_He held up his hand. They quieted. When he turned back to Poe, Poe was blearily watching him._

_"You heard my idea?" he asked._

_Poe nodded._

_"What do you think?"_

_Poe scowled. "I don't like it."_

_He smiled half-heartedly. "Not surprised."_

_"It's a temporary fix." Poe gestured to Rose. "She's right. Jannah may understand them, but they don't know her."_

_"But they know you, Finn." Poe inhaled cautiously, thinking. "Give Rose the three days. Get me back on my feet today. You and I do a song and dance to the senators until it's read—Finn, I don't disagree with your idea."_

_He stopped shaking his head. "You need to rest."_

_"You need a general more. Two, in fact." Poe grimaced. "We need to be present and accounted for, for as long as we can, before we try to pull this off."_

_"You don't need me," he protested. "Not with them."_

_"I need you." Poe opened eyes wider with effort. "Those politicians don't know it yet, but they need both of us."_

_He wanted to point out to Poe the senators didn't want two, no matter how convincing Poe could be. He wanted Poe to stay in medbay, let his pulse beat stronger under his grasp._

_But Poe said he needed two generals. He needed to be Poe's general._

_"All right," he said finally. "But the moment Rose can get the holo to work, you're back here."_

_"Yes, sir," Poe said lightly._

+++

The target droid squeaked before it smashed into the tree into a flurry of broken parts.

"Oh no," Rey murmured as she pulled off her blindfold. She straightened out of her fighting stance. She stared at the silver and red rubble in dismay.

Finn's thoughts were loud, or at least his memory was. It floated in after Rey braced for the target drone's approach.

Dread, anger, frustration seeped into Rey's skin. At first, Rey thought it was her own emotions. She stood in the same clearing when a vision intruded not too long ago when one half reached out. 

Rey saw Poe in Finn's eyes, tasted Finn's fear. She felt Poe's clammy skin in her hand. A pulse beat weakly under Finn's fingers, out of rhythm, like Poe's heart forgotten how.

So, when the droid attacked, Rey overreacted.

"Sorry," Rey told the shattered droid. Of course, it couldn't respond, but staring at its demise, she felt compelled to say something to the poor thing.

The lightsaber's yellow blade snapped shut with a hiss. She grimaced. She has yet to figure out how to make it stop sounding like the release of air from a breathing apparatus. She held the wooden hilt. The thrill of her very own lightsaber was gone. She felt numb now, holding what felt like just a part that she ripped out of a wreck, waiting to be traded for a measly half portion.

She missed her staff.

The quarterstaff stood taller than Rey and was her sole companion for as long as she remembered carrying it. She dismantled it for her lightsaber and fashioned a new staff in Tatooine. She left it in the tent with the tube of sealant. She didn't repair it yet. There were other things she needed to fix first.

Rey exhaled as she clipped the hilt back to her belt. It hung on her belt like an odd appendage. She didn't turn it on since she made it in Tatooine, under the guidance of the surviving Jedi texts. 

No one else came forward—past or present—to help her. No one appeared to tell her why the balance felt off, why it wasn't evenly warm all around, or why it hissed like a dead Sith.

_Where are you? Why won't you tell me?_

_Why can't I help him?_

Finn's frustration leaked past Rey's awareness again. The medbay wavered in and out of her sight.   
She blinked. 

_…The sharp tang of bacta sticky in his palm._

_Sick, the smell of sick, nothing stays down._

_Cold, he felt cold._

_…why can't I keep him warm, they won't listen to what I have to say, there's so many out there who needs a name, a life, hope—_

_this wasn't what I wanted for us…_

Rey hissed. She pressed the heel of her hand to her left ear. She breathed hard between clenched teeth.

The thoughts faded as her sight focused back on the wrecked target drone burring weakly under the tree. 

Finn was projecting strong. Stronger than any untrained Jedi should be. Trained, Finn could—

No, Finn said he didn't want to train with Rey. He didn't want to become a Jedi with Rey. 

Rey set her mouth. 

No matter, Rey thought. She was the lone Jedi. Perhaps that's how the Force wanted it to be. 

Nevertheless…

_Be with me_ , Rey thought. It was out of habit by now. 

Again, there was no reply. 

Rey exhaled. She gathered up the poor target droid within the ends of her tunic. Cradling the remains, her lightsaber swaying against her hip, Rey left the training course. Unfinished once again.

+++

The morning started to stray away from dawn by the time Rey reached Finn and Poe's quarters. She frowned when she spotted Poe leaning heavily at the door.

"What are you doing?" Rey hurried across the last steps to reach Poe. One arm cradling the target droid, her other arm looped around Poe's middle just as his left knee buckled.

"Hi," Poe panted. "Perfect timing." He swallowed convulsively. "Want to walk with me to the command center?"

Poe's forehead gleamed with sweat. He clutched the doorway with both hands. 

Rey shot Poe a look. 

"I should levitate you back into your bed instead."

"Kinky," Poe wheezed, "Sorry. You're cute, but not my type."

Rey rolled her eyes. "I know exactly what's your type, Poe Dameron. Speaking of which, where's Finn?"

Poe made a face. He didn't let go of the doorway. 

"Jannah landed a few minutes ago." Poe took a deep breath. He pulled one hand away from the door. He stayed upright; it wasn't right that he looked pleased by the accomplishment. 

"Finn went to meet the defector."

"Defector?" Rey kept an eye on Poe as his other hand slowly let go of the door. "Defector, as in one?"

A shadow crossed over Poe's face.

"One," Poe said shortly.

Rey frowned, but she kept her arm around Poe's middle. She scanned the ground, cautiously using her power to nudge any rock from Poe's path.

"Transmission came in after Finn left." Poe leaned against Rey but pulled away before his full weight brought them both down. Poe was lighter than Rey expected. She tamped down the urge to turn around and drag Poe back to his quarters.

"Asked to speak with General Dameron," Poe huffed in a breathless attempt at whatever accent he was trying to mimic. He grunted as he lifted an arm as high as he could. 

Rey ducked so Poe's arm could drop over her shoulders. She exhaled and focused on keeping Poe somewhat afloat, above the ground, without looking like it.

"You could have waited for Finn to come back," Rey said. She felt a twinge. She heard herself, voice steady, unencumbered by Poe's weight. Poe wheezed against her, his gait already clumsy after a dozen steps.

"It's just one defector," Rey continued as she fixed her eyes on the command center. Now she understood why Finn and Poe moved their quarters. 

"One defector. Out of a company of twenty-six." Poe's expression hardened. "The rest of the company decided to take their chances on their own."

"Oh." Rey swallowed. "It could be because…" Her words faded because she couldn't think of a reason.

"Yeah." Poe's reply was harsh, thick with self-recrimination. "Finn needed to be there. He needed to understand why. He needed to help Jannah understand it wasn't her fault."

_It's mine. I shouldn't have agreed to let him do all this._

Rey heard it bang around in her head, as loud as if Poe shouted it in her ear. But he didn't say anything, his exhales thin, whistling out between clenched teeth.

"Almost there," Rey murmured in place of any sort of comfort or assurances she could think up. She should have some wisdom about the Force and how things were. She should. But she doesn't.

"Thanks," Poe said, subdued. He gave Rey's shoulders a brief squeeze with his arm.

Rey didn't deserve Poe's gratitude. Nevertheless, she nodded and concentrated on using the Force to keep Poe upright and into the command center. 

"Least I could do," Rey said, the truth sharp and painful in both their ears.

+++

_"…won't accept the defectors in the Gravos settlements,"_ Hiz's hologram talked over Poe.

Rey stayed in the back of the command center. She focused on pressing an invisible hand against Poe's body, keeping him upright as Hiz interrupted Poe for the second time.

"The Resistance is not asking you or any of the senators to do so." Poe sounded remarkably patient. His hands, however, were curled around the edge of the console. "All we ask is that you offer a safe haven until we get there."

_"That is the same as accepting them!"_

Poe explained Senator Hiz, then Vice Admiral Hiz, was a close friend of Hondo. Hiz heard about Hondo's sacrifice months after the fact. Hiz didn't dare offer his allegiance due to a First Order blockade around his planet. He slipped intel to the Resistance whenever he could.

Hiz, Poe told Rey in a weary voice, has the connections and the networks they need. Hiz, Poe explained as his shaky hands punched up the controls to connect the transmission, was not a man to insult.

Hiz, Poe muttered under his breath as the hologram formed, was top on his list of people he wanted to introduce to a Salaac.

"It's not," Poe said evenly. His shoulders hunched forward before snapping back straight. He looked cold. 

_"General Dameron, I understand many were conscripted into duty, but I can't ignore their involvement in our misery as well. I can turn a compassionate blind eye to anyone who wished to change loyalties, but my people—"_

"Loyalty," Poe said evenly. "You tell us you understand the situation with many of them, yet all we hear is your concern about their loyalty."

Rey felt pushback against her support as Poe leaned back more and more into it. His arms shook minutely.

The hologram of Hiz was oblivious to it. Out of the holoprojector's range, Rey glowered at the Senator.

_"We? Us?"_ Hiz retorted. _"Do you truly have the full support of your Resistance forces, general? All I see is you alone forcing your philosophy unto the Senate. Truly you do not think I would be so naive to believe your unrealistic belief that your redemption dream is achievable."_

Poe's jaw tensed under the blue glow of the holoprojector.

Movement at the corner of Rey's eye drew her attention towards the entrance. Between the tarp flaps, a figure stood silent, waiting.

Rey stared hard at the figure lingering outside. At the edge of her awareness, she visualized a wall to prop up Poe. In front of her, she sent invisible tendrils to part the tarp.

"It's not unrealistic and…" Poe exhaled. "And I'm not alone."

Finn stood, back to the wall, his fists jammed against his thighs, listening as Poe argued. He grimaced; Poe's voice started getting a ragged quality as Senator Hiz dismissed yet another proposal.

_Be here with him_. This time Rey sent the plea to Finn.

Finn's head shot up. He locked gazes with Rey before he broke eye contact with a weary shake of his head.

Rey was acutely aware Poe's patience stretching thin in front. She gaped at Finn, lingering outside the door.

With a sharp noise in the back of Rey's throat, she shot up to her feet. She took a step towards Finn, but Poe's terse conversation beckoned as well. 

Rey took a deep breath. Heart hammering in her throat— _stay calm, center, hold on_ —Rey smoothed down the wrinkles in her tunic. She wished she had the foresight to wear her robes when she stepped into the holoprojector's emitters.

Poe tensed, but stifled his reaction and took an unsteady step to the side to make room.

"He's not alone," Rey announced. "General Dameron has the full support of the Resistance and the Jedi Order."

Hiz scoffed. 

_"Jedi Order? There is no Order, only a lone Jedi. One—"_

Even with the interference and staticky quality of the hologram, Rey caught Hiz's half-moon eyes widening as he made the connection.

_"Master Rey,"_ Hiz rumbled stiffly. He gave a little bow from the waist. _"We were under the impression you were in training. The galaxy owes you a great debt of gratitude."_

Rey wasn't sure how to respond. Was she supposed to bow back? Was she supposed to thank him or say something else? She tried to imagine what Luke would do; she came up with nothing. She drew a blank with Leia as well. 

"We all owe her a big debt," Poe said before Rey could think of anything. 

Hiz's eyes narrowed on Rey. It was like he knew her mind was still swirling around what to say.

_"Jedi,"_ Hiz said politely. _"What are your intentions in reviving the Jedi Order?"_

It felt like Darth Sidious pulled the life force out of her and him again. She felt cold, a rush of static filled her ears.

"My, my intentions?" Rey blinked up owlishly at Hiz.

_"We, of course, support the revival of the Jedi as the power to oversee the machinations of the Republic. Your presence is welcomed among many of the planets of the Republic. However, may I boldly offer my planet as a site for the new—"_

"All in good time, senator," Poe said hurriedly. He sagged forward, his arms trembling. Rey became distracted; her support faded from Poe's back. 

_"General Dameron, you fail to see the priorities of the situation. Perhaps we should speak with the Master Jedi alone—"_

"Perhaps not," Poe cut in. "We'll talk tomorrow."

Hiz looked like he was about to say something more, but then Poe ended the transmission with a fist to the controls.

Rey started at the sound. 

"Kriff." Poe bent forward, resting his forehead on the console.

Rey's head felt fixed; it took more work than it should be turning at the sound of Finn edging into the command center.

Next to Rey, Poe's shoulders tensed. He grunted, staggering up, his arms rigid and straight on the console to support him.

"How's Jannah?" Poe asked calmly.

Rey shot Poe a look. She caught the tick in Poe's jaw. 

"Upset." Finn stepped up and stood shoulder to shoulder to Poe. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "She thought it would be more than just one."

"I know how she feels," Poe muttered under his breath.

Finn inhaled sharply. "I heard Hiz—"

"Oh good, I was worried he wasn't bellowing loud enough for you to hear outside."

Finn winced. "Poe—"

"I needed you here with me."

"Jann—"

"No, I get that. What I don't get is after, why didn't you come in? Rey and I could have used the support."

Rey's chest tugged at Finn's weary voice, yet her insides twisted at Poe's rasp. 

"I'm fine," Rey said automatically.

"Yes, you're fine. Finn's fine. We're all fine, aren't we?" Poe held up a hand when Rey dragged a glare to him.

"This was the last thing you needed." Poe tried to run a hand through his hair, but his hand shook too much.

"Poe," Finn murmured. He stepped closer to Poe's space. "I'll take the next comm, all right?"

"As General Finn? Or General Dameron?"

Poe spat out his own title with far too much self-loathing. Suddenly Finn's exhaustion fled, and open concern guided his hand to Poe's stiff shoulder.

"Don't." Poe shrugged off Finn's hand. 

The move cost him. 

Poe pitched forward, his right elbow slamming into the console. 

The holoprojector flared up in an explosive wave, blue protons swirling without a hologram to form. The holoprojector cast a pale blue sheen across their faces. 

Rey cast an invisible hand on Poe's chest. Poe grunted his thanks as he righted himself.

Finn looked permanently stunned under the hologram hue. It lent a ghoulish cast across Poe's ashen pallor. Rey didn't think what the blue light looked like over her skin.

"Poe," Finn murmured. He didn't try to touch Poe again. "I got this."

Poe's head hung to his chest. The blue beams skimmed over the cut of his jaw. He looked gaunt. He looked depleted. 

"No," Poe breathed raggedly through his mouth. "You really don't."

Finn flinched as if Poe shouted. He swallowed hard.

"Let's get you back," Finn said. He gingerly settled a hand on Poe's elbow.

"Can we go back?" Poe sounded wistful. He sounded like an echo of what thumped in Rey's heart. 

Finn either didn't understand or pretended not to. He nodded, empathetically and so much like the Finn who stood in the land speeder in Pasaana, so triumphant, whooping up in victory. It was a short-lived moment before they fell into the sinking sands, but it was the same burst of joy that exploded so warm and pure in the Force. She soaked it in then, took his hand when he said he was in it to the end. And believed him. 

Rey caught Poe's eyes crinkling as he took in Finn with regret and longing.

Where did it go? 

Without a command, the holoprojector deactivated itself with a resigned hiss. The command center succumbed to darkness save for a sliver of light from the entrance's tarp. The thin blade of sunlight cut between Finn and Poe.

"Let's go back," Rey murmured. She slipped a hand around Poe's other elbow rather than trust the Force to keep Poe standing.

Poe looked at Rey; he looked at Finn. He looked torn between crying and smiling. He settled for closing his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, those brown eyes were bleak.

"Fine," Poe heaved out. "Let's try to go back."

Poe turned, his body held stiffly so he wouldn't fall, walked between Finn and Rey. He said nothing as they made their way back to their quarters. He said nothing as he sat up in his bed. He ignored them and started reading the datapads. He said nothing. To Rey, or to Finn. But out of the three, Poe's silence spoke most of all.


	11. Chapter 11

_"What do you think?"_

_Finn stood by the entrance of the tent. He studied what was in front of him, his hand under his chin in a thoughtful expression._

_"Not you," Finn said finally. "Your wide hips can't pull that off."_

_He lowered the soft moon-gray robes he held up in front of him. He glared at a smirking Finn._

_"Very funny," he shot back. Finn cackled while he checked his holster. Again._

_"Really? We heard about this yesterday. You think there's a tiny assassin already hiding in this tent to take me out?"_

_"For twenty thousand credits? Rose could be hiding under that bed of yours. It's not like you use it enough to notice."_

_He ignored the veiled comment about his sleeping habits. Hey, someone needed to worship the caf sludge the Mess made._

_"Don't let Rose hear you refer to her as tiny." He chuckled when Finn made an exaggerated show to check Rose wasn't behind them._

_He tossed the robes to Finn._

_"Listen, you nerf herder, Connix found these among Le—among her things. I think these were for Rey when she finished her training."_

_Finn studied the robes with renewed interest. He hummed as he held up the robes._

_"It's nice," Finn agreed. "We should send these to her."_

_It didn't even occur to him to get Rey her robes, symbolic if not always practical. Leave it to Leia to think that far ahead._

_A bolt of grief crashed against his ribs with all the brutality of a battering cannon. Ow._

_He pressed a thumb to his sternum and tried to breathe around the ache._

_"Poe?"_

_He blinked. When did Finn get so close? Finn was close enough to press the robes back into his numb hands._

_He crooked a smile at Finn._

_"Didn't think to do this," he explained. "Leave it to the General."_

_Finn's eyes followed him as he folded the robes and tuck it back into the curio box it was in._

_"And hey," he said, thinking quickly because Finn's stare was starting to make parts of him shiver. "What's this about my hips? Are you kidding me with this?"_

_Thankfully, Finn eased off his intense scrutiny. Finn abruptly plopped into a cot. His cot._

_"Hey, General, your bed's over there."_

_Finn grunted when he looked over._

_"I just made that," Finn said primly._

_"Oh, so let's mess up General Poe's instead, thanks."_

_Finn laughed, the great big one with the teeth that always made him feel like he genuinely said the funniest thing in the galaxy._

_"If it bothers you that much, you could have my bed—"_

_Outside their tent, something sharp and loud rang out._

_Finn grabbed him by the wrist and yanked. Finn turned them around, bodily covering him. Finn pinned him between the cot and the hard planes of his—oh kriff._

_"Don't move," Finn hissed._

_If he wasn't gasping, wondering if Poe Dameron was wrong again, he would have been gasping because of the hard line of Finn's cock pressed into the sensitive skin between the small of his back and the curve of his ass._

_Outside, no one shouted. No one raised the alarms. And then…_

_"I said the other toggle!" Rose hollered at yet another clueless tech._

_Finn slumped into him._

_He was trying to tell himself his heart was racing because he thought someone was cashing in on that bounty._

_"Twenty thousand credits or not," Finn panted. "Rose is going to kill you for foisting those new recruits on her."_

_He coughed and tried to keep his voice steady._

_"Uh…So uh, it's all clear, I take it?"_

_Finn muttered a startled curse under his breath. He climbed off, which was both a relief and a tragedy._

_He sat up and made a show of rolling his head and shoulders while moving his blankets over his lap._

_"Force, you're heavy," he muttered, and oops, now all he could think about was Finn's body pressing him down on a mattress and—kriff, get it together, General._

_Finn stayed seated in the cot, his eyes hard on the tent entrance._

_He stared at Finn's hand. He didn't notice when Finn pulled his blaster out._

_"Don't tell me that thing is armed."_

_"No, of course not." Finn hastily powered down the blaster._

_He sighed. "Look, this isn't the first time there's a price on my head."_

_"Twenty thousand credits, Poe. Forty if it was public. Someone wants your death broadcast on all the holos."_

_He shrugged. "I'm a general now; I'm sure the price is high on principle. As for being public…Maz did say I looked good on those holos."_

_"Poe," Finn groaned._

_He clapped Finn's closest knee._

_"Hey," he said. "I'm not worried. Are you?"_

_"Yes," Finn grumbled. "Someone has to be since you're busy cracking jokes."_

_"And someone was supposed to be leading a Stormtrooper rebellion, not play my personal bodyguard," he retorted. He sighed. "And it was either jokes or stay in a permanent drunken state."_

_Finn's shoulder bumped his._

_"I'd rather you sober, General," Finn murmured. "Your jokes don't improve with alcohol."_

_"Funny guy," he mocked growled._

_Finn snickered. He sobered as he slipped his blaster back into his thigh holster._

_"I don't want to see you hurt," Finn admitted with far more honesty than either could afford at this time. "And you know why, Poe."_

_His throat worked._

_"Okay," he conceded. It was all he could offer for now. "But no heroics on my account."_

_Finn grunted. It wasn't an agreement._

_"Damn it, Finn, I told you I won't—"_

_Finn dropped a hand onto his knee, stopping his words. He rubbed gently, moving up to stay possessive over his thigh._

_The heat from Finn's touch ignited inside his chest like warmth on a cold night._

_"I won't lie," Finn murmured. "But I'll promise not to die on you. All right?"_

_He exhaled. "Fine."_

_"It means playing decoy when you're out there."_

_His stomach clenched. "I still think that's a terr—"_

_"Poe." Finn's hand kneaded his thigh. "You agreed."_

_He did. He just didn't like it. It felt like his head could fall off, but he nodded, scowling._

_"And when I can't be there, you go with the escort Beaumont assigns."_

_"What?" He swallowed the rest of his protest at Finn's arched eyebrow. "Fine."_

_"I'm staying close, Poe. Don't tell me otherwise. I can handle the Stormtroopers and do this at the same time."_

_"Yes, General Finn."_

_"Poe, I mean it. Either I or someone is going to stay close—"_

_He covered Finn's hand on his thigh and gave it a squeeze._

_"Okay, I get it," he murmured. "Joined at the hip, I get it."_

_Finn relaxed. He turned his hand over and wove their fingers together._

_Here, in the tent, where there was no duty around, no generals to live up to, he allowed himself this._

_"Joined at the hip," Finn echoed. And then grinned._

_"Your wide hips."_

_"Hey!"_

+++

Rey opened her eyes, for once reluctant to leave meditation. She wanted to burrow into Poe's memories, blurred with fondness and longing.

However, Poe still dreams about his mind's violation. He still jolts out of his nightmares, utterly nauseous and often violently ill. 

The pleasant feeling lingered when Rey found herself back in their quarters. Lunch must have been served while she meditated. There was a tray on the table in the center of the room. It held a precarious stack of bowls.

Poe sat up in his bed with a pile of datapads that seemed to have grown the last time she saw them. Finn, this time, was by the crate, sitting on a too short stool that drew his knees up to mid-chest level. He failed to hide his constant checking over to Poe, peering over his current datapad. Finn hasn't realized yet he held it upside down. Poe ignored Finn.

"I'm tempted to ask what you saw during your meditation," Poe tracked Rey as she padded to the tray. She recognized some of the foods she tried before.

"It got you in a better mood," Poe continued. 

"Dreams. You all project despite the blocking you told everyone to do." Rey grunted as she picked out her favorites. Finn spooned a little bit of everything onto a bowl as well. 

"Projecting?" Poe's frown was audible. "We're projecting?"

"Loudly." Rey stared at Finn. He held out the bowl of food and spoon towards her. 

Rey raised an eyebrow. She kept staring at Finn.

"At least this time, you have a nice dream," Rey muttered. It was easier to talk about it when she wasn't looking at either of them.

Finn's eyes went beseeching.

Rey pivoted around and marched back to her spot. Poe had someone bring over a thick rug and cushions for her meditation.

Finn exhaled and rose to his feet. He stuck a fork into the center of the bowl like a vibroblade. He walked over to Poe, stopped by Poe's bed, and waited.

Poe lasted long enough for Rey to settle back in her cross-legged position. He slanted a weary look up at Finn. 

Something flickered across Poe's features. He closed his eyes briefly and sighed.

Finn took that as forgiveness and sat down in the chair. He handed Poe the fork while he took the spoon.

"Let me see if I understand this," Poe continued as he cautiously took a bite out of whatever Finn passed over in the fork. "You saw our dreams? Inside our heads?"

Rey heard the underlying current in Poe's voice. She gulped the morsel of meat suddenly stuck in her throat.

"Not on purpose," Rey mumbled. She studied her plate. She forgot what Rose called the green pouches from last time. She wished Rose was here so she could ask her.

"Rey."

Rey lifted her eyes at Poe. He frowned, his brow furrowed, but he didn't look angry.

"I wasn't sleeping before."

Rey blinked.

Poe waved around his fork of food towards Finn and himself. 

"We were going over the reports. As tedious as Kin's reports can get, I didn't fall asleep. I definitely wasn't dreaming."

Rey stared at Poe. Poe gazed back, still looking more puzzled than upset.

"Rey," Finn spoke up, thinking. "Have you been picking up on our dreams and thoughts this whole time?"

"Only when I'm meditating and…" Rey hesitated. "No. Today. It happened during the training course. I thought it was because I fell into a trance state to do the blindfold man—Oh, I broke the target droid." She felt a twinge of guilt when she remembered she left the remains on the floor of the command center.

Finn and Poe exchanged a look.

"What?" A buzzing thrummed under Rey's skin again.

"Did you pick up thoughts or dreams before?" Finn asked.

Rey made a face.

"After Exegol," Poe guessed.

Rey turned to Poe. He smiled faintly.

"You kept away from most of us after Exegol. I thought you needed to rest like everyone else." Poe shrugged his right shoulder.

"The war wasn't over for us even after Exegol," Finn agreed. He shared a meaningful look with Poe. 

"It wasn't that bad," Rey protested. "I needed to stay away for a while to gather my thoughts."

"Rey, you left the entire _system_ to do that," Poe reminded her. "There's staying away, and then there's the Luke Skywalker's version."

For some reason, Rey thought at the mention of Luke's name, he would appear, a shimmer of blue at the corner of her eye. Nothing. It was just her. No other Jedi appeared.

"Rey?" Finn leaned forward in his chair. 

Rey shook out of her reverie.

"It's fine," Rey said tightly. She gripped her plate with both hands. The edge bruised as it dug into her palms. "You're the one projecting loudly in the Force. I…" She took a deep breath. 

"I just need to shut it out. All of it."

"By leaving again?" Poe asked quietly. He held the bowl of food in his lap. 

Finn focused on Rey, no longer pushing Poe to eat.

"No. I'm staying." Rey fixed her eyes on Poe. 

Poe nodded, his mouth pressed together, his eyes overly bright with emotion. 

"Doesn't explain this." Poe cleared his throat. "Is this a Jedi thing? A Force thing?"

Rey frowned to herself. "I assumed it was because I've completed my journey to become a Jedi that everything automatically becomes louder." Her eyes burned. "There's no one I can ask."

Finn pursed his mouth. "Can't you ask…you know, you told me about Force ghosts, all the Jedi of the past?"

Rey poked a funny lump flecked with multi-colored seeds. There was a name for it. Rose told her once.

"Rey?"

Rey wished Finn would stop asking. Eyes on her food—it's going to get cold soon—Rey shrugged.

"They haven't been answering," Rey admitted. Hearing it out loud made her throat shrink. "I've tried. Last time I saw any of them was Luke and Leia in Tatooine, in the Lars—"

"You talked to Leia?"

Poe's hoarse voice broke through the constricting sensation in Rey's throat. She glanced up. Poe's face was white, but his eyes looked so hopeful, she cringed.

"N-no, I…" Rey took a steadying breath.

"No," Rey said softly. She hoped Poe heard the apology in her words. "I saw her, felt her, but…she didn't speak."

Poe nodded to himself. His eyes dropped to the bowl neglected on his lap as if seeing it for the first time. He passed it back to Finn. 

"Poe," Finn murmured. His hand flexed, reaching but not touching.

"It's fine," Poe said, his voice even. "It's…yeah…" 

Poe cleared his throat. Tried. A cough cut through Poe, sharp and unforgiving. Like something hurt too much inside to release the air he needed.

Finn gripped Poe's covered knee, his head close as Poe doubled over. 

The coughing jag abruptly turned harsher, jerking Poe's upper body forward. Finn muttered something into Poe's ear, his hand splayed on Poe's back for support. Poe grunted, unable to speak, but he didn't push Finn away. 

Rey crammed the odd spotted lump of food into her mouth. She chewed with some difficulty—it was too big and too dry—but it meant she stopped talking. 

The lightsaber hung off her belt felt a thousand times heavier with each cough. At one point, it sounded like Poe threw up into a bucket Finn kept on hand by the beds. 

Rey couldn't look. It didn't feel like she has the right. Not when she heard Finn, anxious yet efficient, coaxing Poe to breathe. Not when Finn pulled out the medical pouch again, deft fingers on needles and scanner. Not when her hands remained just hands, holding a bowl of food instead of offering life. 

Against Rey's hip, the lightsaber swayed, a weight like gravity pulling her down to a fiery crash. What good is a plasma blade against this? 

Rey wanted to unclip her lightsaber and bury the weapon. She missed her old staff and how useful it was. It felt like a part of her, an extension. The lightsaber used to, but now it felt like it should belong to someone else—

"Rey?"

With a gulp, Rey swallowed her food before raising her eyes. 

Finn was now cross-legged in front of Rey. He looked at Rey the same way he looked at Poe before. Behind him, Poe's posture screamed of exhaustion, his face damp and flushed from his fit. His hand rubbed his own chest absentmindedly, but he leveled a furrowed brow look at her as well.

"What?" Rey bristled. "I'm fine."

"Do you think," Finn tried, his expression thoughtful, "Maybe in reaching out to the Force, maybe you reached out…too far?"

Rey frowned. "What?"

"If I understand this, the Force is energy, right? You're sending signals out like transmissions, and they reply to your comms. Right?"

Rey inwardly cringed. "You can put it that way. A Jedi can feel the Force around and through everything. The Jedi join the Force and its energies after they're gone.." Rey checked with Poe on the bed, but he only appeared to be listening to Rey.

Finn nodded. "So, in controlling the Force, you can also control the Jedis who joined it?"

"No, not control." Rey wasn't used to having an audience about this. About anything, in fact. "A Jed—I should be able to hear them. If I'm one with the Force, they should _be here with me_."

From Finn and Poe's surprised expressions, Rey discovered she was shouting. And she was on her feet, her food rolling away to escape from her.

Behind Finn, a bowl of plums tipped over and spilled onto the floor.

"Sorry," Rey muttered. She tracked a meat roll tumbling to Poe's boots by his bed. "I didn't mean to intrude on your thoughts. I wasn't trying to…it wasn't on purpose."

"Rey, we know that," Finn said as he shot up to his feet as well. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "But we should try to figure out why this is happening to you."

"I think you have bigger problems to worry about." Rey bit her lower lip when Finn flinched. "I…I better go."

Rey started to roll up the rug while Finn and Poe protested. She gave up, mumbled it was all right, it was fine, maybe she'll see them for dinner and fled out the door. Finn called after Rey, but she didn't turn around.


	12. Chapter 12

_She wasn't sure she heard correctly._

_The meddroid whirred as the inventory was reviewed once more. It warbled back in binary._

_Gee's head whipped up._

_"Doctor Kalonia, we only have the two?" Gee blinked his right silver eye—the other too scarred after Crait—at their medbay. "What about a bacta suit?"_

_Another regretful warble. They lost all of them during their evacuation, along with half their medical corp. Even the droid sounded upset._

_She set her palms on the warm curved surface of Kenth's bacta tank. Lena Bern's boy Inx bobbed in the greenish gel. The bacta already needed replacing. His blood clouded the healing solution too much to see. She couldn't bear to look at Kaydel's tank next to him._

_"We could induce a medical coma," Gee limped over. He reviewed the datapad readouts and saw what she already knew. Neither would survive removal right now._

_"The general said Connix and Kenth have bacta priority," she repeated. It rang over again in her ears, like a ballad she couldn't get out of her head._

_"That was before we knew the full extent of Po—General Dameron's injuries."_

_She wanted to shout at Gee that they should have checked. But at the time, three boys with no names and still wearing their Stormtrooper boots ran in carrying the makeshift stretchers. There was no time to stop then, not when Beaumont Kin's frantic transmission came in to report they were two minutes away. They just lost Poe's pulse._

_"Doctor Kalonia?"_

_"Tell them to land here, not the airstrip." She craned her head and spotted the three newest defectors. Well, they're her medics now._

_"You three," she shouted. She pointed to Chewie, waiting by the entrance. "Follow him! We need the shuttle to land here!"_

_Chewie herded her new medics outside. He roared they would make a space for Beaumont's craft to land._

_"Prep diagnostic table three," she ordered Gee. "I want all the meddroids and instruments sterilized. I need isolation panels too. Surgical guidelines level two, no, four."_

_Gee stumped after her._

_"You want to do surgery here? Without bacta on standby?" Gee looked around their cavern._

_She grimaced. The cramped medbay was enough then when Exegol promised not many would be left to need her crude facility._

_"I've operated under fire, I've operated as my transport burned around me," she snapped. She directed her droid to prep a pair of clean scrubs for her. "I sure as kriff can save our general here."_

_Gee blinked, whether shocked at her swearing or at her claims, he wouldn't say. He nodded and started calling out for his own set of scrubs._

_Outside, a shuttlecraft hovered, trying to land. The medbay shook. It was like the Scolarea bombings all over again._

_Nevertheless, she kept her footing and ran outside towards the chaos._

+++

_Why aren't you here with me?_

Dinner didn't appeal. Sleep also eluded Rey.

Rey moved her rug out of her tent to face the waterfall. The trickling melody of water soothed. When she pulled out of her meditation, the morning sun threw out brilliant colors.

Why was this happening? 

Finn was right. Maybe. Rey wasn't sure if this was normal for a Jedi. There was an overwhelming temptation to go back to Tatooine. Or Ahch-To.

Poe's words about her leaving the system stung. She wasn't trying to run away. This wasn't like before. She didn't flee because of a vision of her as Empress. She needed to think. She needed to ask questions, but no one heard her. Not like before, as she lay on the ground, the dust so thick it felt like she was floating. She stared up at the blue lightning flashing up, wrapped around her friends. She thought she heard Finn scream. And Poe. And everybody. So many and they blinked out one by one in her mind.

 _Be with me_ , Rey thought then, a prayer more than a plea.

And the Jedi heard her. All of them.

Rey checked her left and right, but no one was here. And the base's thoughts swirled, hammering at her awareness. 

Her lightsaber shook from her belt. She wanted to take it off, but no. She was a Jedi; she should wear it. She should have asked for the robes she saw in Poe's memories. She would have worn them instead of the ones she shoved to the bottom of the green basket. 

Rey held up the lightsaber hilt, dark as night, smooth like it was polished. The curves and grooves of her staff fit within the palm of her hand. Familiar, yet now, as her lightsaber, it felt strange and odd fitting. 

"What do I do?" Rey murmured to her lightsaber. Of course, it wouldn't answer. "What can a Jedi do here?"

There was no answer. No shimmer.

"Why aren't you here with me?"

Around Rey, the Force pulsed with so many voices, but none were the ones she needed.

Rey growled. Her lightsaber floated out of her hand. It twirled before she sent it flying into the basket of clothes. Fabric flew up when the hilt struck bottom.

The tent around Rey quivered. She shot up to her feet and glared about her.

"You see this?" Rey snapped. Her heart thudded; air too large to breathe around. She waited.

Nothing.

Shame washed over Rey. She reached for her staff that hung on the loop. She stopped. She took a step towards the basket. 

She stopped again.

Rey's hands clasped together into a knot of unsteady fingers. She pressed them to her mouth. Her eyes darted: lightsaber or staff.

With a sound, Rey backed out of the tent, taking neither.

+++

Rey heard them before she stepped into the clearing.

BeeBee Ate whistled anxiously to Rey while pacing outside Finn and Poe's quarters. When she realized Kalonia was there watching the droid with bleary eyes, she froze.

"Inx Kenth didn't make it," Kalonia said tightlipped when she spotted Rey. The physician looked like she hasn't slept. 

Kalonia tipped her head to the room. The shouting hasn't stopped.

"As horrible as it sounds," Kalonia said wearily, "the bacta tank can be ready in a day, but Poe's refusing to do the surgery."

Rey pressed her lips together. "Who's winning?"

The doctor grimaced. "Neither."

"Stay here," Rey told BeeBee Ate. 

BeeBee Ate whined by Rey's feet.

"No, this is something between us. It'll be fine."

Rey steeled herself as she stalked in. She didn't knock on the door this time.

"...can continue wearing the manipulated hologram," Finn stood in front of Poe's bed instead of sitting in the chair. "No one noticed so far. We'll be okay. I can get Rose to improve the holo—"

"And what about General Finn?" Poe snapped. He leaned forward in the bed, the blankets and datapads were on the floor. His face was a patchwork of an angry flush, gray pallor, the skin around his bluish lips were bloodless. 

"What about General Finn?" Finn said it with a twisted expression. "That's the last thing we need right now!"

"You're going to hide? Let Finn fade in the background? Stay General Dameron? For the good of the kriffing galaxy?" Poe breathed harshly.

Rey took a step forward. She tried to speak, but Finn's outburst stopped her.

"I'm not hiding!"

"Could have fooled me," Poe shouted back. "You're using my name as a mask! How is that any different than the mask you wore before?"

Dead silence.

Poe blanched. He looked like he was about to keel out of bed. And Finn looked like Poe punched him.

The buzzing under Rey's skin thrummed to her fingertips. She stood behind them, her dearest friends, her family. It was like she was watching them suspended around painful lightning again. Dying. Because she wasn't enough to be a Jedi then. Not by herself.

"Finn..." Poe stuttered. "I wasn't..."

Finn scrubbed both hands down his face. He didn't turn around to acknowledge Rey. He didn't look at Poe.

"You never should have made me general," Finn said hoarsely.

Poe squeezed his eyes shut.

"Funny, I thought making you general was the smartest thing I've done since I became acting general."

Rey cleared her throat. 

"You need to get in the bacta tank, Poe."

"That's what I've been trying to tell him," Finn bit out. "I can still play General Dameron and be out there to help and—"

"And General Finn will just be forgotten." Poe shook his head. "No. There are two generals in this and if they can't accept that—"

"Then what?" Finn challenged. "Let the galaxy go to hell just so FN-2187 can play the hero?"

"You're not 2187 anymore!" 

"No one else believes that!"

"I believe it. Why isn't that enough?"

Rey curled her hands to fists. 

Above Poe, the medical datapad burst into flames.

"Force!" Finn slapped the device away. 

The datapad sputtered and smoked as it landed halfway across the room. 

Finn began pawing Poe's hair.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I didn't get burn—Rey?" Poe nudged Finn back. 

Rey glanced down at her fists, at the blue lightning dancing around her knuckles.

"I-I," Rey croaked. She looked at the datapad. She couldn't think of anything to say. Nothing at all to dissipate the sheer anxiety choking the air in the room. She couldn't apologize; a Palpatine playing Skywalker. 

Rey abruptly turned on her heel and fled.

+++

On the third day on Tatooine, there was a sandstorm.

BeeBee Ate informed Rey the sandstorm came once every three months and lasted for four days. The people of Tatooine, at least the well-to-do residents, made it sort of holiday every time it blanketed half the hemisphere with suffocating, molten hot sand.

It was quiet within the sandstorm. It dampened all sound, including her own breathing. Rey needed to power down poor BeeBee Ate, wrap the droid in an airtight tarp, and tucked the droid away inside a cargo crate so no sand would invade sensitive circuitry.

She was alone. So much more so than all her years in Jakku.

Rey meditated. _Be with me_ , she invited as she sat inside a tiny room carved out of pale blushing sandstone. 

_Be with me_ , Rey asked the countless voices that were with her until the very end when darkness took away the Emperor's face. At least she knew she won before she died.

Then she didn't. She told herself it meant she saved him. And the Force welcomed him back. 

It also meant yet one more was lost under the hand of a Jedi. Intentional or not.

Four days of sand. And no one heard her call.

_Be with me._

No one answered. 

When the storm was over, Rey reactivated BeeBee Ate. There were eight waiting holo comms from Finn and Poe, wishing her well, hoping she'll return soon.

Rey wrapped her arms around the confused astromech and cried.

Luke told her no attachments. A Jedi stood alone, yet not.

When Rey stood once more where she buried the two lightsabers, Luke and Leia never appeared. And when she tried to offer Finn the name Skywalker, he declined. He declined with joy for her. But he declined all the same. Because Skywalker meant the Force and Finn didn't want anything to do with it. She thought it meant he also didn't want anything to do with her.

Rey was the last Jedi because no one else wanted to join her. She was the last Jedi because another joined the Force instead.

She left to search for the temples soon after. Perhaps in their presence, she would hear the Jedi before her again. Then she could ask them. What's next? Why must the Jedi always experience loss to complete their destiny? How can she seek her own balance? Would she ever be a Skywalker?

Rey ran without knowing where she was going and found herself back by the bridge, the dead tree stretched across shouting water.

Although it represented the end of the training course, the bridge was rather ordinary. 

There was nothing remarkable about the tree. It was damp, only moss and insects occupied it.

But Rey found herself here again. Maybe Poe was correct that the tree held a mysterious purpose. All things happen on this tree.

Rey took a deep breath. She felt the sparks under her knuckles cool. 

_"Never be afraid of who you are."_

She wasn't a Palpatine. She was a Skywalker.

She wasn't a Sith. She was a Jedi. The last one. 

Rey dropped down to the bridge. She crossed her legs, closed her eyes, and tried again.

The water roared below. 

The wind swirled around her and lifted strands of her hair.

A bird twittered past her.

Rey's eyes flew open. She tilted her head up towards the sky.

_**"Where are you?"** _

Rey's chest heaved. Her own words echoed back. The jungle around her silenced, startled animals muted by her shouts.

And across her knuckles, a thin blue spark danced and then seeped back into her bones.

Rey inhaled sharply. 

"Where are you?" Rey repeated, lower, her voice cracking. "I…please…tell me what I should do."

"Who do you want to answer?"

Rey's head whipped around. A slight figure stooped at the shoulders, stood at the end of the bridge.

When the wizened burnt orange skin and goggles came under the fading light, Rey's stomach sank.

"Maz Kanata," Rey greeted. She hoped her voice hid the disappointment sharp in her belly.

"Rey," Maz hushed, her voice reverent as if she called her Jedi.

Rey blinked rapidly. 

Maz smiled, her mouth stretched across her aged face, brown eyes fond as they landed on Rey.

Rey bit her lower lip. Her eyes pricked.

Maz reached over and stroked the back of her hair.

"Oh, Rey," Maz murmured. "This was not what you expected, was it?"

It wasn't clear if Maz meant her return. Or Finn and Poe. Or everything. Everything else. Before. After. All of it.

Rey wordlessly shook her head. Maz blurred in front of her. For one breathtaking moment, she shimmered like a ghost.

When the illusion cleared, Rey's heart slammed into her chest, beating against her ribs as she watched a ship fly away, but they'll be back. They'll be back for her. 

_Be here with me._

Maz tsked. She patted Rey's head and guided her head to rest against her hip. She wore a blue sweater and a black sweater vest. They were soft against Rey's cheek. It was like leaning against a cloud.

Rey sat with Maz, standing close, her fingers gingerly petting Rey's hair. Maz hummed a song Rey didn't recognize. It swirled around her like the Force.

"What is that?" Rey whispered.

Maz hummed a bit more before she answered.

"An ancient lullaby," Maz murmured. "Already old when I heard it. No meaning. No name. Just sound."

Rey nodded. Maz's sweater tickled her cheek. "Just is."

"It exists because it is, woven in the Force. Its original purpose may have been forgotten, but it has a place in the Force."

"But no purpose," Rey rasped.

"Rey," Maz breathed, "Purpose is like a lightsaber. How you choose to wield it shapes it."

Rey dropped her eyes. She studied her hands, callused, her nails chipped and dirty. She curled her hands around the memory of a handle of another's saber. She flexed her hands and thought of the one that hung strangely off her belt. 

"In all my centuries," Maz said as her fingers wound around Rey's braid. "I've collected so much, many whose origins were lost in time. But I felt its existence. In the Force. They occupied the energies around us. And they became what I chose them to be."

"There was a choice." 

"Choice is what connects us and binds us to the Force. Whether you choose the Dark or the Light."

 _Sith or Jedi_ , Rey supplied in her mind. She couldn't help the flinch as a face popped up. She brushed it aside, tucked it away like her lightsaber. 

"It's good to see you," Rey told Maz. She smiled as best she could. "I wasn't sure we would."

"I was sure." Maz's mouth stretched in a knowing smile. "Ever since Takadona, I always knew we would meet again, Rey."

"The Force?" Rey wondered how intertwined Maz's light danced with the Force. Even in front of her, Maz glowed with ever-changing soft colors. It was like her presence in the Force was a whim.

"Yes." Maz's expression went dreamy, her eyes large brown moons behind her goggles. "And because I chose to see you again."

Rey wrapped a hand around Maz's. Maz's fingers were gnarled with age, rough with years, yet warm and comforting. 

"How did you know you made the right choice?" Rey shook her head. "I mean, in anything?"

"I never doubted my choices. I trusted the Force's guidance." Maz gazed up. The moons were starting to rise. 

Rey looked up as well, but the blue-tinged glow of the moons made her ache and so very alone. She lowered her eyes and let go of Maz's hand.

"You have so much faith," Rey murmured. She sniffed loudly. "I'm supposed to have as much." She screwed up her face. "I mean…"

"Rey, never forget who you are."

_Never fear who you are._

Rey's eyes felt hot again. Maz's gentle voice sounded too much like…Rey couldn't bring herself to look up.

"I'm a Jedi," Rey said to Maz's boots.

"You're also Rey."

Rey blinked. She scrubbed her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Maz, what should I do?" Rey murmured. "Shouldn't I know what to do?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

Rey glared at her crossed ankles. 

"I've tried. The Jedis of old have been silent. The Force has been everything but. I-I…"

"You're still asking the wrong person."

Rey glanced up.

Maz gazed back, a small cryptic smile on her face.

"Who should I ask?" Rey croaked. 

Maz dipped her head towards Rey. She crooked a jointed finger and tapped Rey's chin.

"I don't understand." Rey knitted her brow. "Who—"

A twig snapped. Rey's head whipped towards the sound, her hand reaching for her saber, but it wasn't there.

"Answer the question, and you'll know the answer," Maz said cryptically. Louder, she directed a greeting to the newcomer.

"I haven't found one yet, Rose." 

Rey's eyebrow rose at Rose standing at the end of the bridge. 

"That's all right," Rose called back as she stepped into the clearing by the end of the bridge. She held a basket with both hands. "But, I also have a few crewmen eager to lose their credits in your next Sabacc game."

"Sabacc?" Maz said innocently. "Whatever do you mean?" She winked at Rey. 

"Uh-huh." Rose smirked at Rey, but her smile faded at whatever she saw.

Rey turned back to Maz as she hastily scrubbed her face with her palms, hoping to wipe the flush from her cheeks.

"Will I see you again?" Rey asked, hopefully.

Maz dipped her head again. "If you choose it." She waved good night to Rey and Rose as she walked back down the log to where she came.

Rey stared after Maz's slight figure vanishing into the jungle.

"I uh…I could go if you wanted to be alone."

Rey didn't mean to, but a sound slipped out from the back of her throat.

"Or not." Rose dropped a basket into Rey's lap. Slowly, she sat down.

"Careful." Rey watched Rose fold herself into a similar position.

"Eh," Rose dismissed. "You can do that Jedi thing if I fall, right?"

"Or let you fall so I can laugh," Rey joked, but it sounded flat in her ears.

Rose snorted rather indelicately. "Or that." She glanced around.

"I uh, stopped by at their quarters."

Rey stared down into the basket, not seeing the contents.

"Oh."

Rose exhaled. "Thought you might be here." Rose patted the tree trunk. "Poe kept saying it was a significant place."

Rey's lips twisted.

"Not really. Leia found a dead tree and told me to float it over to make a bridge because she didn't feel like jumping across every time."

Rey smiled weakly as Rose muttered, "I knew it," under her breath.

"But Poe was partially right," Rey continued. "Many things happened here." She flushed when Rose favored her an eyebrow. "Not those kinds of things."

Rose pretended to sigh, disappointed. "Oh, for a moment, I thought it was like the scene out of—"

" _The Heart's Inheritance_ , I was just thinking that." Rey tapped Rose's arm with the basket. "That was the only decent scene of the entire holonovel."

"The ending was good, though," Rose pointed out. "Who doesn't like a happy ending?"

"Yes," Rey murmured. "Who doesn't?"

Rey poked a finger through the basket Rose gave her. There were tiny balls of bread wrapped in glossy green leaves.

"Sweet meats," Rose explained. "Hays Minor." She smiled briefly. "Where my sister and I were from. The Mess has been trying all the recipes we gave them. They came pretty close with these."

Rey plucked one up the size of her thumb.

"You need to peel the leaf off first," Rose advised when Rey was about to pop the entire morsel in her mouth.

Rey chewed—it was salty and sweet at the same time—and watched Rose pick two, took the leaves off, and squashed them together.

"Get different combinations this way," Rose said. Her left cheek puffed out as she talked around her food.

Rey copied Rose. They spend the next few minutes trying various versions until the basket was empty. 

"Did we have a happy ending?" Rey said as she stared into the empty basket.

"We won." Rose took the basket. She spun it in her hands. "Why? You're not happy?"

"I thought I was," Rey admitted. "But then I wasn't."

Rose hummed, the basket twirling in her grasp. The discarded leaves fluttered about, carried by a breeze.

"I cried," Rose said abruptly. "Day after. I woke up in my tent. I went to do some repairs on Wes's U-Wing because I promised, but when I got to his spot, I remembered he died."

"I'm sorry," Rey murmured. "I didn't know Wes."

"Me neither, not really, but someone out there did. I cried about that." Rose smiled, self-deprecating. "Poor Chewie. Found me crying into my toolbox. I got his fur all wet."

Rey listened to the water below. The churning has calmed. The crevice felt empty without the water shouting below.

"I cried too," Rey said quietly. When she heard herself, her words present and not lost in the water, she flinched. "After I left, there was a sandstorm in Tatooine. When it was over, I cried."

Rode didn't comment, but she shifted closer. Their knees touched.

"I caught Leia crying once."

Rose didn't look at Rey, her eyes were far away. "It was after Poe got back from Jakku." She grimaced. "He was unconscious the entire day; we didn't know what had happened to him, if the mission was successful, where was BeeBee Ate. Nothing."

A leaf caught in the breeze floated past Rey. Rose reached out and plucked it.

"Found Leia in the medbay. Poe was still out, but she was crying by his bed." Rose gulped. "At first, I thought…but then I got the sense she was crying because of someone else."

 _A lost son_ , Rey thought but said nothing.

"I don't think Finn and Poe cried like a lot of us did," Rose said quietly. She cradled the captured leaf with cupped hands. "I don't think they had a chance to. Not really." 

Rose carefully tossed the leaf back out, gently like a funeral wreath cast to the waters and fate.

Rey watched the greenery twirl as it fluttered into the crevice.

"I want to help," Rey admitted, "But I'm not sure how."

Rose grunted under her breath. "It's not exactly something I can use a wrench or socket on either." At Rey's scoff, she tilted her head to Rey.

"I said something similar to Finn," Rey explained, smiling. "Levitate and lightsabers."

Rose gazed down in the direction the leaf fell.

"I think the only ones who could help Finn and Poe," Rose said, "Are Finn and Poe."

It was the only answer that made sense, Rey thought. It just didn't sit well with her.


	13. Chapter 13

_He never should have agreed to it._

_"Finn," he called out for the third time. Again, no reply._

_He threw back the covers and swung his legs around to stand._

_That caught Finn's attention._

_"What are you doing?" Finn stood up from his spot by the crate._

_Finn dropped into the chair next to his bed._

_"Wanted to see if you were done with Beaumont's report on the Eastern Sha warlords yet. We need to decide if the treaty is worth it." He nodded towards the crate. Half of the reports were fanned out like a bad Sabacc hand._

_"You could have just asked me." Finn scrunched up his face, doing that thing with his eyebrows again. It always made him want to run a thumb over them. Not a very general thing to do. Such behavior would raise other eyebrows of other certain generals and admirals had they survived to see victory._

_Okay, that was morbid, Dameron. No jumping into the doom and gloom. Happy beeps, General._

_"I tried. Three times. Forgetting your name, buddy?" He tried to make it a joke, but it sounded too much like the truth._

_Finn grimaced. Worse, Finn didn't deny it._

_Snap once remarked Finn always looked startled whenever someone besides Poe used his name. Snap jokingly asked if Finn has trouble remembering he was Finn._

_At the time, he laughed because wasn't that the funniest thing? But then he really thought about it, and it wasn't funny anymore._

_It still wasn't funny. Even if Snap had survived and made the same joke, it still wouldn't be funny._

_"Hey."_

_Finn's hand curled around his forearm. The heat of Finn's palm made him realize he was shivering. Damn it._

_He smiled at Finn, but the lines on Finn's face only deepened._

_"Maybe you need more sleep." Finn checked the chronometer on the datapad above his head. Stars, he hated that thing, always wailing each time he kriffing scratched his nose._

_"It's still early." Finn rubbed his arm up and down. Circulation followed Finn's touch; he stopped shaking._

_But then his insides abruptly twisted. Not in Finn's touch sort of way, but in the maybe another dose of meds kind of way._

_"Whoa. Hey." Now Finn was sitting on the edge of his bed, and wasn't that a tragedy? Finn was right here, his firm thigh pressed against him, touching him and his own body reacting in all the wrong ways._

_The datapad above his head wailed, but it cut off when he threw it across the room. It landed in the docking station Finn set up for whenever BeeBee Ate returned._

_"Okay. So that happened." Finn was nonplussed. He gave the datapad a glance. "I'm going to hear about it from Kalonia, you know. That's the third one since yesterday."_

_"I can't sleep with that thing making all that racket," he grumbled._

_"All right." Finn was quick to agree lately. Finn's hands swept up to his shoulders. "Why don't you lay down a bit?"_

_He rounded back his right shoulder to shake Finn's hand off—his left felt stiff lately, but he wasn't going to complain—and stayed sitting up._

_Finn sighed. "Move over then."_

_He raised an eyebrow but did as Finn asked, shifting closer to the wall so Finn could slide in next to him. But then Finn wedged himself between him and the bed board._

_"Why, General," he drawled half-heartedly. He hoped Finn couldn't feel his heart hammering. Finn's breathing was measured, his chest rising and falling against his upper back. "This is all so sudden."_

_Finn huffed a chuckle._

_In the distance, the datapad made a feeble chirp alerting the heartrate._

_He swallowed as Finn's arm went around his shoulders and turned him so he could rest his head on Finn's left shoulder. Finn has good shoulders. Solid and strong, a promise they could carry anything._

_He shivered but for an entirely different reason now._

_"Better?" Finn rasped. His question ruffled the hair curled on his brow._

_He closed his eyes and breathed as deep as he could. He ignored the fact it was harder compared to yesterday. He thought about it getting even harder tomorrow. He thought about what if he couldn't get out of bed ever again, and Finn stayed not-Finn._

_"Finn, Finn, Finn," he murmured sadly._

_Finn's chest vibrated underneath him._

_"Okay. I heard you this time," Finn chuckled. Finn dropped his chin on top of his head. "I was distracted before."_

_He squeezed his eyes shut._

_"Try to sleep," Finn whispered. His other arm went around his abdomen, fingers pressing circles into the scarred depression under his ribs, where he was now short one. Finn always knew where the sharp tearing resided._

_The hot vibroblade twisting into his insides dulled to an ache that vaguely reminded him of the Finalizer._

_Ah yes. Fun times._

_He did get a lovely parting gift out of the whole kriffing experience. Although there are some days, he held his breath, expecting to discover Finn was only a torture-induced hallucination. There were times he couldn't believe Finn was real._

_"If you're still cold, I'll get my blanket too."_

_But that meant Finn would have to let go first._

_"I'm fine," he mumbled. He wasn't sure where to put his hands—well, he has an idea, but that was an idea better executed long ago. Too late._

_"Yeah. You're fine," Finn sighed. "So you keep saying."_

_"Finn, Finn, Finn," he muttered against Finn's shoulder. Only for a few more seconds, General. Then it's back to the warlord treatise whatever thing Kin wrote up._

_"All right," Finn rumbled against his hair. Finn's chin bumped into his forehead as he chuckled._

_"I get it. I'll ask one of the medics to check my hearing later."_

_He wanted to press his mouth on the clavicle he could feel against his cheek. Or rub his unshaven jaw there and see how Finn reacted to whisker burn._

_But all he could do was curl against Finn. Everything was exhausting. He felt Finn's heart thumping against him; he feared it didn't tattoo out "Finn."_

_Outside their quarters, someone coughed to get their attention._

_"General Dameron?"_

_"Yeah?" Finn answered far too readily and at ease before he could draw a breath to respond himself. Finn cleared his throat._

_The voice stayed outside the doorway. Finn's orders. Initially, Finn wanted to move his bed to the front so anyone would have to shoot Finn first before reaching him. That didn't sit well with him. They compromised (loudly) with putting the beds at an angle._

_"It's Juul, sir. There's a transmission from Tolks. He asks to speak with General Dameron."_

_"Asks," he scoffed and started to sit up._

_"All right," Finn said. He didn't loosen his hold. In fact, Finn's arm tightened around his shoulders. "I'll be there in a minute."_

_"We'll be there in a minute," he interjected, but with his face pressed to Finn's shoulder, he doubted Juul heard him. And when Finn exhaled, readying to ease him down flat on the bed, he knew Finn chose to ignore him._

_He caught Finn's hand as Finn rose to his feet._

_"We should both go in," he rasped._

_Finn shook his head before he finished._

_He gripped Finn's hand tighter and struggled back up._

_"Whoa, no, you need to lie down—"_

_"General Finn should talk to him." He clasped his other hand over Finn's. "Because he can't always talk to me. Finn—"_

_"No," Finn said. He clapped a hand over their combined grasp. "No. He can." Finn's smile was a mocking copy of the one he relished seeing every day. "Rose, remember?"_

_He scowled. "That's not what I'm trying to say. Finn, you know that's not what I'm talking about it."_

_Finn exhaled. He wrestled his hands free._

_"I gotta go," Finn murmured. Something indecipherable crossed Finn's expression. Finn reached up but stopped before he touched anything. "Get some more sleep."_

_"I'm getting up," he threatened. He drew in enough air to push up on his elbows—great progress, now to convince his body his lower back still works._

_"We are both going in there," he rasped. Sitting up—excellent, General, now the legs, "and talk some sense into Tolks together—"_

_Finn captured his jaw with both hands._

_His words petered into shock._

_"Finn," he rasped. Because it was not the right time, not the right place and the unfairness of it all made that never-ending pain burning his insides return sharper._

_"I can do this," Finn said, his fingers massaging the tender muscle under his chin. As if Finn was trying to stop him from protesting. Or knew his throat ached from last night because dinner (and lunch) didn't agree with him._

_"Poe, I can do this," Finn repeated. It sounded like Finn was talking to himself, though._

_"I know you can." He hooked a hand around Finn's nape. "As General Finn." He pulled Finn closer. He rested his forehead to Finn's._

_"Come on, buddy," he murmured._

_"Please," Finn whispered. His exhales tickled. "Poe, stay here. I've got this. Just stay here. I need to know you're okay."_

_He swallowed. Finn wasn't playing fair. He squeezed Finn's nape and pulled his hand away. It shouldn't be this easy to go boneless against Finn's supporting arm. He shouldn't black out the few seconds it took for Finn to ease him against the bed board._

_He shouldn't come to Finn looking like he is now as if he wasn't sure if Poe Dameron was going to wake up again._

_"When I get better," he croaked. "We're both doing this. You and me. There are two generals here."_

_Finn huffed out a laugh. It hurt to hear._

_"Get some rest." Finn's hand threaded through his hair. Probably felt gross, though. Last night's fever left him soaked from head to toe._

_Finn didn't seem to mind how disgusting he was. His hand kept combing through his hair._

_"I'll be back later to go over the reports with you."_

_He almost said, "It's a date," but that would only remind each other of what they agreed to put on hold._

_"Give Tolks my sincerest compliments," he said instead._

_Finn snorted._

_"I'm not calling him a hairless pup of a bantha."_

_"I guess you're not going to make me a holo-recording of his reaction then?" He leaned back and grinned sloppily at Finn. "It would do wonders for my recuperation."_

_"That's what you said about that last stash of holonovels Zorii got you."_

_"What can I say? I'm a voracious reader."_

_"Says the man who can't even finish the first paragraph of a survey report."_

_"They're reports on dirt!"_

_Finn chuckled. Finn leaned in; his eyes cloudy as he considered him._

_He covered his heart with his own hand._

_"Not moving. You have my word, General Finn."_

_Finn's smile wavered at the name. He turned quickly to the door._

_"Tolks is waiting," Finn said, subdued._

_He wanted to tell Finn to let Tolks wait. But Tolks knew too many connections among the old senatorial figures to piss off._

_"Yeah," he said, "Straight at him, General Finn."_

_He stressed Finn's name, willed Finn to let the name stick because kriffing hell, this was Finn's name, he said he liked it, damn it, he earned it, more than anyone else deserved including himself and his inherited 'General' title._

_The room felt confining after Finn left. The room and all the datapads and maps and half-empty mugs said this was a general's room._

_General Dameron's room._

_He threw the datapad he was reading. It joined the medical one on top of BeeBee Ate's docking station._

_He's going to hear about that one, too._

_"Tell me, General," he muttered. He jabbed a thumb over the joint of his left shoulder because, Force, it hurt to do that._

_"What the hell do I do now?" He glanced around the room. "Le—" He couldn't bring himself to say her name. Not out loud. Not when hearing no reply hurt as much as somehow hearing one._

_"What should I do now?"_

_His insides cramped. Something burned, ruptured. It felt like another rib decided to have a go at his insides._

_By the wall, the medical datapad burbled and chimed a warning about his heartrate or blood, whatever. Guess something got kriffed up inside._

_Something sour rose up in his throat. He doubled over._

_"Hold on," he muttered as he wrapped his arm around his middle. He won't let Finn find him this way. He ignored the comlink that rolled against his legs. One call, and it'll send that kid Neelsy or Kalonia running._

_It'll pass. It always does. It's just taking longer this time._

_He swallowed convulsively. He tried to pull air in around what felt like a hand shoved deep into his body to claw everything out._

_Just breathe, general. Breathe._

_Hold on…_

+++

_'Come have breakfast.'_

Poe's handwriting held a shaky quality to it. It was scratched out on the back of another piece of a star chart and tucked at the bottom of a basket of small unpainted wooden carvings. They were thumb-sized representations of the animals in Ajan Kloss. There was even a little porg in the collection, looking shocked, its tiny wings outstretched to take flight.

There was an additional note, again in Poe's almost illegible handwriting, that explained one of the defectors took up carving. The former Stormtrooper made them as farewell gifts before going with Lando and Jannah to be relocated in an undisclosed settlement.

There was no comment from Finn. 

Rey wished she stayed longer with Rose last night. They moved on to safer topics about holonovels and the benefits of a duo fuel compressor. It was nice to laugh about something and not mull over consequences, but Rose yawned twice, and Rey knew she should check on her friends eventually.

Finn had paced in front of their quarters when Rey returned. And she knew Finn sensed her when he paused. His head shot up towards the direction where Rey hung back in the thicker part of the jungle.

Rey's belly churned when she thought she could smell ozone lingering the clearing between them. She took a step forward. She couldn't take another step. 

Finn studied the direction Rey hid—because yes, she couldn't deny she was hiding—with an unreadable expression. 

After a beat, Finn lifted a hand in the air. He gave a brief wave and nodded solemnly.

Rey wanted to respond, maybe float a twig or pebble to him, but the scent of ozone sharpened as she thought about it and no, no, she couldn't, as much as she couldn't bear to hang her lightsaber off her belt. She retreated into the jungle and returned to her tent to meditate instead.

Poe's dream (memory) lingered in Rey's mind when she roused and found the note in the woven basket. She brushed her thumb over the miniature porg and set it on top of the basket of holonovels instead. 

Rey read Poe's note twice but couldn't find any hidden meaning. She thought about the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion she felt after the vision, a weariness not of her own.

+++

BeeBee Ate was on guard duty again.

"Morning," Rey murmured. She rubbed a knuckle over the orange plating on the head. "You're keeping him safe?"

The shock prod popped out of the central body unit. The astromech warbled.

"Good droid." Rey brushed some dirt off the dome. She considered the entrance.

BeeBee Ate whistled by her feet.

"Just…" Rey exhaled. "Wondering what to do." She chuckled at the droid's answering chirp. "Yes, going in would be the next step, BeeBee Ate. Not sure what else I could offer after that."

BeeBee Ate bumped into the back of Rey's legs.

"All right. All right." Rey gave the droid a careful nudge back. "You don't have to push."

A few beeps and trills shot back.

"I'll try," Rey promised. "I'll try, but this isn't something a lightsaber could solve." 

The droid's head drooped low.

Rey stroked BeeBee's head. She faced the door, squaring back her shoulders. She strode in like it was yet another dark cave where her fears lurked. It felt the same.

+++

Poe looked up when Rey entered. He answered her eyebrow with one of his own when she found him sitting by the crate instead of his bed.

"Figured the view would be better," Poe explained as he indicated the datapads stacked on the crate. He was in Finn's chair, a thick blanket crumbled by his feet.

"Is it?" Rey asked. She checked over her shoulder. All she saw was the flap of tarp that covered the wooden plank door.

"Well, you walked in," Poe said lightly.

Rey rolled her eyes. Her hesitation about entering dissipated, which was probably Poe's intention.

"I bet if someone else was here as well, the view would be much better."

Poe's grin wavered.

"Transmission from a Mid Rim settlement," Poe said shortly. "Came in for _General Dameron_. We sort of…disagreed on which General Dameron should be there.""

"Oh," Rey said, her voice small. "I wasn't trying to…I mean…."

"Sit down," Poe requested. His eyes were bloodshot again, far worse than in the dream Rey glimpsed. He looked feverish, but his gaze was alert as he tracked Rey sitting down across from him.

It was awkward. With her sitting on the floor, Rey needed to look up to see Poe. At least it was comfortable, though. There were rugs everywhere, more than the one yesterday.

"We went back to Pasaana." Poe gestured to the rugs. "A day or so after you left. Finn negotiated a surrender of a First Order company who was stranded on an asteroid base. We went there to hand them over to Lando and Jannah for relocation." 

Rey smiled. "I wondered if that festival was still there. All those kites."

"For four more days. Beaumont took holos," Poe remembered. "He wanted to record the festival because who knows where we'll be in another forty-two years?" 

Rey kept her smile up despite the roughness in Poe's voice, the crack in the end as if he ran out of air to speak.

"You…" Rey tried, "Would probably be bald, fat, and grumpy by then. Finn and I would have to drag you back there."

Poe huffed out a laugh that ended in a wince. He held up a hand when Rey started to rise.

"I'm fine," Poe said tightly. He grimaced at Rey. "Just wasn't expecting that. You're not usually funny."

Rey plucked the softest cushion on the floor and floated over to swing at Poe's head. She made sure it didn't hit him, though. When Poe gazed back, his smile lopsided and knowing, Rey flushed.

"The festival?" Rey prodded.

Poe took the pillow Rey sent over and placed it over his middle. He leaned back into the chair. His eyes stared past Rey.

"It was like the war never happened," Poe murmured, a bit awed. "They were all there, dancing, those kites, the singing. We couldn't stay long. Just long enough to meet the elders and established trading lines. They kept giving us all these gifts. Rugs, beads, and baskets; Finn had to leave some of the stuff because we couldn't fit everything in the shuttlecraft I flew unless we leave Cee Threepio behind. I was tempted to, but Finn vetoed me."

"I never saw anything like that festival before." Rey drew up her knees and rested her chin on top of them. She could hear Cee Threepio chattering away and Poe's face as he considered stranding the android. She smiled to herself.

"Get the holos from Beaumont," Poe advised. "He did a pretty good job. Rose really liked them." 

Rey ran her hand across the rug she was on. Over and over, the cords of color tightly woven to a tapestry. She felt a hum in the Force of the weaver. He was a grandfather, a dozen times over. He spun the mats in honor of his grandchildren, who sang next to him when he finally passed away to join his beloved mate.

_…she called him Le-sha when his given name was Le-sha-ku…_

_…when life faded, he wept. When he joined her, he held up his arms in joy…_

_…he told Finn this wasn't working, but Finn said if it kept him alive, it was…_

_…Inx told her it was an honor to join the General's staff. She was grateful there was no war to take her only boy away…_

_…a small hand curled into his roughened from a lifetime of weaving…_

_…they've never argued like this before, shouting to the point BeeBee Ate crashed into their quarters, squealing…_

_…they cried because grandfather was gone, but also celebrated it meant they were reunited…_

Rey pulled her hand away before distant grief and love swept over her. Her throat worked. She blinked rapidly, and her eyes cleared. It was just a rug once more.

"It's happened again, didn't it?"

Poe studied Rey, his mouth set.

Rey's eyes slid away.

"You need to learn to block better," Rey muttered.

"I wasn't even thinking of anything. At least, not purposely." Poe folded his hands over the pillow on his stomach.

"Finn's right. I think you overextended yourself." Poe's head was canted to Rey as he considered her. "I think you have all your comlink channels open, and everything's coming at you in lightspeed."

"How?" Rey grumbled. "I wasn't able to do anything." She snapped her hand towards Poe. "All I was able to do was listen to everything you throw at me and blow things up."

"And you didn't even need my permission to do it," Poe mused. He wore a small smile, his eyes distant in memory.

Rey's brow furrowed. "What?"

Poe roused. "Last night. Was that the first time that happened?"

Rey shrugged.

Poe made a thoughtful noise. He stared at Rey and said nothing else.

The silence stretched between them. There was an itch, growing in the back of Rey's neck, but she wasn't outside.

Rey grunted and lowered her eyes.

"Stop it," Rey mumbled.

"Sorry," Poe said. "Trying to see if you can tell what I'm thinking if I was thinking it hard enough."

"I didn't hear anything."

Poe's smirk was audible. 

"Good, because it wasn't decent."

Poe chuckled airlessly when Rey rolled her eyes.

"Stop it," Rey muttered.

"Stop what? I'm thinking nothing but pure thoughts now."

"Stop pretending you're not scared." It slipped out before Rey could stop herself.

Poe stopped laughing.

"Are you reading my mind?" Poe asked quietly.

"The Force doesn't—no, I'm not." Rey locked gazes with Poe. "I just know."

Poe's mouth contorted. He nodded once.

"No point denying this scares me." Poe swallowed. 

Rey peered up at Poe through hooded eyes.

"The dying?" Rey whispered.

Poe gave a harsh laugh. "Actually, no. The…"

With a shaky wave, Poe gestured towards the brown uniform jacket behind him on his bed, folded neatly, the sleeves crossed in front. 

Rey frowned. "As General? You and Finn—"

"That's just it, Rey." Poe rubbed a hand down his face. When he pulled his hand away, he looked haggard as if the admission took his reserves. 

"It's not Finn and me. It's just me. And General Dameron."

Poe gazed around the room. Rey wondered what he saw.

"Finn didn't let himself be part of the equation. Rey, that's…that's not the Finn you and I know. There was so much—he had plans, Rey. Such amazing plans. I thought we could do this. I thought once the Republic was established, we could walk away now that the galaxy was in peace again."

Rey remembered what Rose said.

"Happy endings," Rey murmured. "It didn't feel like a happy ending."

"It did. At first." Poe's smile was brittle. "But people like Finn and I were raised in war. Could there ever be a happy ending for us?"

"If you let it." Rey studied the shadows under Poe's eyes. They were darker, or perhaps the pallor of his skin was grayer. Her throat worked.

"Finn will be okay." Rey sent the blanket up and around Poe's shoulders when it occurred to her the blanket was on the floor because he couldn't pick it up. "He's Finn. He'll fight for what's important."

"This is important." Poe shrugged into the blanket Rey wrapped around him. "The Resistance, the new Republic, the Stormtroopers, the… all of this is important. I can't…"

Poe breathed out harshly; he sounded angry with himself. 

"You're included in that list for Finn, for all of us, you know." Rey watched Poe's expression contort through many emotions, settling on that self-turned anger again.

_…he shouldn't…_

And it struck Rey, the pieces of Poe that came her way, the thoughts he often thought about besides longing.

"This wasn't what Leia wanted for you."

Poe's eyes were bright as they locked onto Rey. He said nothing, but Rey heard his question.

"No," Rey whispered, "I don't see her, but I know." 

"Leia made you acting general, not because she thought the Resistance needed another General Leia Organa. It's because she knew we needed a General Poe Dameron."

"Well, I guess General Dameron was exactly what we needed, huh?"

Poe hunched further into the coverings over his shoulder. He studied Rey, lapsing into an uneasy silence between them.

"Last night," Poe tried. He shook his head at Rey's scowl. "All right, okay."

"I'm fine, Finn's fine, we're all fine." Rey threw back Poe's words. 

Rey wrapped a hand around Poe's ankle. She felt a feeble pulse. She tried to imagine a stream of energy flowing into him, but nothing. It wasn't fair. She curled her hand tighter. The ankle bone pressing into her palm felt fragile.

"Stop trying to fix everything," Rey murmured.

"Then stop saying you're fine," Poe retorted wearily. "While you're at it, tell Finn to stop calling himself General Dameron." He closed his eyes and sank back into the chair, the blanket curling up higher to his ears when he sagged.

Poe sat there, breathing evenly, silent as if he lost all words. And perhaps he did. Rey knew he spent most of his words with Finn, with politicians, with Rey, with everyone else but himself.

"You're afraid Finn stopped fighting for himself." Rey rubbed the side of Poe's ankle before she pulled away. She wiped her hands down her trousers. "I think it's because he's too busy fighting for you."

Poe drew a shuddering breath. He didn't deny it.

+++

When Rey stepped out to get lunch for them both—she wasn’t taking Poe's no for an answer, she found BeeBee Ate was gone, Finn was pacing outside.

"Tried to talk to him again about the bacta tank," Finn said, his voice unsteady. "Before, we were…" 

Finn made a strange angry gesture in the air in front of him, like slashing a lightsaber. "I went to answer the transmission. Give us some space and time to cool off."

Boots slipped briefly when Finn halted.

"Did he…?" Finn stared hopefully at Rey.

Rey's throat worked. She shook her head.

Finn made a frustrated noise deep in his throat. He started to pace again. "I was hoping you talked some sense into him."

"Sorry," Rey murmured.

Finn waved at Rey. "No. I'm the one who's sorry. We shouldn't have pulled you into this."

A bolt flared inside Rey's chest.

"I'm a Jedi, but I'm also your friend, Finn. Stop trying to solve my problem. There is none. Worry about yourselves. I'm—."

Rey almost said she was fine, but she heard Poe saying it. She clamped her mouth shut.

Finn's hands curled tight into fists. He jammed them under his arms as he marched left and right, but not going anywhere.

"Spoke to Kalonia," Finn said abruptly. He was about to say something more, but suddenly couldn't. There was a brief look of anguish that flashed across Finn's face. 

"He's dying." 

Rey worried her lower lip. "Kalonia told you this?" she asked in an even voice.

"No, it was a feeling."

Finn stopped in his tracks, hearing himself. He breathed out unsteadily. "Kalonia said even the surgery might not..." He studied Rey.

"You knew."

Rey forced herself not to look away from Finn. She nodded.

Finn's face screwed up. "You..." He looked angry, angrier than Rey has ever seen him. He abruptly spun around, his back to her. He began to pace again.

"Fi—"

Finn's hand shot up, forestalling whatever Rey was about to say.

Rey took a step forward but hung back at the rigid set of Finn's shoulders.

Finn didn't get mad very often, especially with those he regarded as friends. He once held a grudge against a newly recruited Danorian tech. Finn overheard a disparaging comment about Poe the first week on Ajan Kloss. Whatever it was, Finn didn't share, but his glares at the Danorian promised violence. 

Leia started sending Finn out on missions with Chewie and Poe. That helped Finn's mood.

Finn kept pacing, his boots digging deep trenches in the dirt. Muddy because it rained while Rey and Poe talked. It sounded like tapping on the tarps that covered the entrances. It sounded like an ancient message rapping out in the water, but Rey didn't know what it was trying to say.

Rey wasn't sure what she could offer Finn. Poe asked her to stay, but what could a Jedi do besides fill a space? No battles waited. Nothing to check and balance. 

Finn stopped in the middle of his constrained path.

"Zorii couldn't find a tank or a suit, but she found a fresh bacta supply. It'll be enough for him." Finn folded his arms in front of him. "Zorii is rushing back. When she gets here tomorrow, Poe's going to have the surgery."

Rey studied Finn's stiff shoulders. "He would never agree to that."

Finn shook his head. "This isn't a matter of lesser two evils anymore, Rey. Kalonia said this is the best chance he has left."

Rey tracked Finn as he dug a deeper furrow in the mud, his walking almost frenzied even though he didn't stray from the front of their quarters.

"Poe is never going to do it willingly," Rey argued. "Finn, you need to talk to him. You have to convince him somehow."

Finn halted.

"You can."

"What?" Rey whispered.

Finn pointed to his head, but before he completed the gesture, he froze at the look on Rey's face.

Rey felt like she needed to sit down. But she ended up gaping at Finn instead. Her body felt wrecked, as stiff as when Palpatine ripped their life forces out of their hearts.

"Rey, I—" Finn was suddenly in front of her, his fingers digging into her upper arms. "Force, I didn't mean to—"

"How could you?" Rey hissed. Finn blurred in front of her. "How could you even _think_ of asking me to—or subject Poe to another—how could you?"

Finn abruptly yanked Rey to him.

"Sorry, sorry, Rey—I…sorry."

Finn stammered his apologies into Rey's hair. She shook in Finn's hold, her arms rigid against her sides, her skin buzzing.

"I won't do it," Rey choked out. She couldn't stop shaking. "Do you hear me? This is not…The Jedi is not for you to—I won't do that to him. You can't make me—Finn, _how could you_?"

"Rey," Finn cracked. "I wasn't thinking. Sh sh sh, I'm sorry. I just—Rey, I don't know what to do."

Rey's joints unclenched. She raised her hands and clasped them on Finn's lower back.

"Rey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"

"All right," Rey murmured. Now she shushed Finn as he clung to her. "All right. Just never ask me to do that to any of you."

Finn frantically nodded against her. His head dropped into her shoulder. 

They stood in front of the entrance, Ajan Kloss jungles for once quiet, the air still, contradicting what Rey felt and what she sensed from Finn. She held on to Finn and thought about what Poe said: he was glad she was here. Just in case.

"Finn," Rey murmured. "Oh Finn."

Finn didn't say anything more, his eyes crushed into her hair. His hands no longer curled over her arms. He clutched her like it was Exegol all over again, overwhelming relief at the sight of her and Poe fueling his grip.

After a few moments, Finn gulped audibly. He stepped back from Rey. His breathing calmed as he pressed the heels of his hands into his swollen eyes. 

Rey watched Finn as he returned to his pacing, although it was less frenzied as before. He kept his hands over his eyes as if trying to look inside himself for ideas. She wondered what she could offer. She told the new recruits the Force doesn't work that way, but here, she wished it did in some way.

"He doesn't have a choice." Finn lowered his hands at last. He sounded calmer now. Too calm.

A vibration went up and down Rey's arms in warning.

"He thinks he has no choice but to stay on as general." _For you_ , Rey wanted to say. Just as much as Finn hid behind the name of General Dameron for Poe.

"Not if I make him stand down."

"Stand down..." Rey stared at Finn, but he wouldn't look at her. "You're talking about mutiny."

Finn nodded jerkily.

Rey shook her head. "He'll never forgive you for it. Finn, Poe trusts you. If you do this, you'll save him, but you'd kill everything else between you two."

"I know." Finn bowed his head and took a deep breath. He lifted his head and stared at Rey, his eyes glinted with determination.

"But he'll be alive."

Rey shook her head again.

"He wouldn't want this."

"Are you going to stop me?" Finn stopped short. 

"Rey, I wasn't trying to—"

"I know," Rey said quickly over her heart's hammering. "But this isn't the answer. Mutiny? It's been done. And for all the right intentions, but in the end, Poe never forgave himself. And that's what will happen to you."

"How do you know about that?" Finn's eyes bore down on Rey. He kept his distance, but she could see his body tensing where he stood.

Rey's eyes slid away.

"When we were in the _Millennium Falcon,"_ Rey admitted. "After Crait. I-I heard you two in the cargo hold." She grimaced. "I was looking for a place to sleep."

Finn breathed out sharply. "He had a nightmare. A pretty bad one. I was with Rose at Canto Bight. I didn't know the details about what happened. He didn't tell me much, but something in him changed that day." 

Rey nodded.

"Don't ever mention it to him." Finn tipped his head back. He gazed at the stars shining through the jungle's thick treetops. "It still bothers him."

"And here you're planning to do the exact same thing to him."

Finn's glare seared into Rey. His mouth snapped shut, his jaw set. He didn't say another word, turned on his heels, and stormed away.


	14. Chapter 14

_The comm crackled, cutting off Poe's voice._

_But she heard enough. They all did._

_By the time Finn's frantic transmission cut through, they already gave the order to scramble._

_She climbed into the Y-wing, harnessed herself into the gunner seat and slapped the console, all while shouting._

_"Go go go!" she yelled to the pilot seated behind her._

_Two other Y-wings lifted off at her shout. She'd enough time to realize they were skimming too close to the treetops of their base before they jumped. She jerked, the medkit rattling on her lap. Her knees knocked into the targeting toggles. Oh no, please don't let her accidentally engaged the weapons._

_"What's the sitrep?" her pilot shouted into her headset. He was new. A former Navy Alliance pilot who originally hacked X-wings and TIES for the highest bidder. He ditched it all when Poe's recruitment broadcasts went viral. He said he joined because it was a better profit, but Poe let it slip he's refused his pay so far._

_She should know the guy's name. After all, he shouted, "kriffing get in, Tico" when he saw her running down the hangar with the largest medkit she could find. But the name currently escaped her._

_"General Dameron's transport crashed on sector forty-two of the Delos tri-canyon!"_

_"Attack?"_

_"Bomb," she choked out. "Po—General Dameron said bomb before we lost contact."_

_"Which General Dameron?"_

_"Does it matter?" she shouted louder than necessary._

_The pilot didn't reply. They were already out of hyperspace. Delos V's yellow and white planet filled the bubble-turret glass above her._

_Her stomach lurched as the starfighter abruptly went into a vertical drop, zeroing in on..._

_"I see it!" Now the pilot was shouting. "Kriffing hell, how did he manage to land in there?"_

_"Get us down!" She craned to see._

_"There's no room to land! I'll hover as low as I can. You'll have to jump!"_

_She nodded before it registered what he wanted her to do. Her eyes were fixed on the two halves of the once boxy light craft meters apart. It landed on a canyon slope. It was split open like a cracked dee-jak egg._

_"Are those Stormtroopers?"_

_She smashed her face close to the canopy. Sure enough, three speeders skidded to a halt by the front half of the wreckage._

_"Defectors!" Finn insisted all defectors present themselves with their masks off. "They must have been close by—"_

_"Okay, jump!"_

_Oh Force._

_The wind above her scoured her cheeks when the canopy popped open. She scrambled to the port nacelle, the medkit banging against her ribs._

_She shrieked—maybe cursed—when she tumbled to the end of the nacelle after the Y-wing tilted low enough for her to hop down from it. She saw the others with their own medpacs, doing the same._

_She fell twice, scrambling uphill to the front half of the wreck._

_A rail-thin man—a boy, really—was trying to stop the bleeding of someone on the ground. It was Connix._

_"Are those medical supplies?" His hands were pressed over Connix's stomach. Her pants were soaked in blood. His Stormtrooper gauntlets were red._

_"Are you a medic?" She dropped to her knees beside them._

_"A med-what?"_

_That's right. Finn said they never saw the need for more than basic first aid. To them, wounded was good as useless and dead._

_"Do you have any medical train—"_

_The boy nodded as he thrust a bloody hand into the pack. He worked fast, quickly picking up what each item was._

_"What's your name?" she panted, finally remembering her manners._

_"NE-9—" The boy shook his head. His blonde hair was shaved close to his skull. "Neelsy! General Finn said it's Neelsy now!"_

_"Where's General Dameron?"_

_"He went to get the others!"_

_She could see the smoldering back half of the craft tilted on the bottom of the canyon. She saw Kenth carried off on a flat piece of durasteel and fastened to a speeder._

_"General's orders!" Neelsy motioned to anyone—defector or Resistance—for another makeshift gurney. "Get these two to a place where the Y-wings can land. Transport to base. Bacta tank priority!"_

_It must mean Poe was all right. She made sure people moved Connix before she ran towards the other part of the wreckage._

_She didn't realize she was following a trail of blood until she found Finn. His speeder's front wheel was smoking. The vehicle had fallen to the ground._

_Finn was dragging a struggling Poe away from the wreckage._

_"There's nothing left in there!" Finn screamed to be heard above the speeders screeching away._

_She was about to dart past them, to the hand she saw in the wreck until she realized it was just a hand. She gulped, facing Finn and Poe again._

_Poe half hung over Finn's arm. He looked..._

_She spun on her heels, sliding down the incline most of the way. She grabbed the first abandoned medpac on the ground. Then another. Her legs burned by the time she dumped three used packs by Finn and Poe._

_"You're going to be okay," Finn chanted. Poe was slumped into the protective curl of Finn's body. Finn shoved a shaking hand into one pack._

_She helped. Tried. She pulled out everything that was left. They were the smaller packs. They couldn't fit anything bigger in the ships. The Y-wings zipped overhead and jumped, their wake sent her hair unfurling and flapping wildly into her eyes. She shouted into her headset for transport._

_Beaumont cut in; he was en route with a different craft. Five minutes. Five minutes. And they'll jump._

_She told Finn even as she used whatever compression patches and the few bacta strips left._

_Poe bled through all of them._

_Finn never acknowledged her. He kept muttering into Poe's hair. Poe's head lolled against his chest. He wasn't struggling anymore._

_"You're okay. You got this. Hold on. Hold on…" Finn croaked. He didn't look at her. He only looked at Poe's bloodied face._

_She cried when Beaumont arrived with his shuttlecraft, five Stormtrooper defectors leaping out to help before it even came to a complete stop._

+++

Rey opened her eyes. She looked over to Poe; he was sleeping. She stormed back into their quarters after Finn stalked off in the opposite direction.

When Poe saw Rey's expression, he didn't comment. Nor did he ask where Finn was. He worked on his reports while Rey meditated. They both gave up hours later. 

Poe once told Rey a battalion of destroyers couldn't shake Finn when he got this way. It was an expression to behold. 

It was only for the wrong reason this time. 

Rey looked up at a timid chirp by the door. 

"You can come in," Rey coaxed. A moment later, BeeBee Ate rolled in, stopping by Poe's bed.

Rey smiled tightly when the droid nudged Poe's right hand that hung over the side of the bed. Another beep followed by a low whine.

"Neelsy gave Poe something to help him sleep." Rey brushed a thumb over the thin strip of orange plating just under the night vision sensor. "Do you want to stay with him? Finn's..."

_…a bolt of frustration…yelling…can't she see this is the only way…he can't lose him, no, this is the only way…_

"…Away," Rey finished lamely.

BeeBee Ate whistled quietly and bumped the tips of Poe's fingers again. The limp hand slipped over BeeBee Ate's domed head when the droid maneuvered closer.

"Stay with him." Rey tapped BeeBee's head. She pressed Poe's hand securely to his droid's crown. "New mission, all right?" 

BeeBee's head carefully rocked up and down to mimic a nod without dislodging Poe's hand. The astromech cooed to Poe.

"Good droid." Rey padded out of the room to seek Rose. Perhaps she could talk some sense into Finn.

+++

The maintenance and airstrip were further back, isolated from command and medbay. By the time she reached the landing area, the moons were at their zenith.

Rey still wasn't used to seeing so many rows of ships. Many were older models, but they all looked space worthy. It took her a few circuits around the rows of starcrafts before she spotted the right one.

Sure enough, Rose was on the Y-wing from Rey's vision. Rose straddled its rear section, hammering something with an intense scowl on her face.

"Do you always do repairs in your sleep clothes?" Rey was sure the ragged blue tunic and quilted jacket made from old flak vests weren't proper safety attire.

"Only when I'm not sleeping." Rose's coils on the back were lopsided. It made her look...Well, it explained why the night shift made a wide berth around her.

"I read a holonovel," Rey offered, "When I can't sleep." Which wasn't true but telling Rose Rey indulged in a lightsaber battle with the shadows to exhaust herself didn't seem like a practical solution.

"Lost a year's worth of holonovels in a game of dejarik to Chewie," Rose grunted. "I think the Wookie cheats."

A bolt hopped out before Rose could grab it.

"Kriff!"

Rose blinked when it floated back up to her hand. She peered over at Rey.

"Thanks."

Rey shrugged. "It's nice to know I can help with something."

Rose frowned. "You helped. A lot."

"I wasn't talking about the war."

Rose shrugged. "Me neither." She sighed as she considered the craft she sat on.

"I think that was all the power I can squeeze out of it." Rose got to her feet and proceeded to slide to the nacelle. She gripped the edge and did a neat dismount off.

Rey clapped. "Are you sure you aren't Force-sensitive?"

Rose snorted. "No. But I have plenty of practice thanks to too many baby mechanics forgetting to check if anyone was topside before taking the maintenance ladder." She stretched and tapped the wrench by her hip.

"I was getting sick and tired of hollering for someone to get me down. Poe thought it was hilarious. Finn complained one of these days I was going to break his back when I land on him. That's because he's always too busy drooling over Poe's ass and never pays attention when I jump."

Rey snickered. Part of her ached as well, though.

"Oh, I wish I saw that."

Rose scowled, but her face smoothed out. She smirked. 

"Trade you the holo for three of your holonovels?"

"Deal." Rey shook Rose's hand to seal the transaction. She looked up at the Y-wing.

"Y-wings are fast."

"X-wings are faster," Rose said. "But it's only because they don't carry cargo or even an extra living being. Astromech droids are heavy, but not as heavy as a full-grown humanoid or even a juvenile Abednedo. If we want to get anywhere fast to be of any use, it must be the U-wings or the Y-wings. We only got these NR2s because some of the recruits brought their own."

Rey thought about what she saw, about how Rose hugged the medkit to her, her knees banging on the toggle controls.

"I know you guys did your best. "

Rose sighed. "I know. But there's just that feeling, you know?"

"Wondering what you could have done differently. "

Rose gave Rey a weighted look. Slowly, she nodded. 

"I think all of us think that one time or another. " Rey hesitated. She considered Rose before adding, "even if everything that could be done was done. "

Rose narrowed her eyes. "This is a Jedi thing, isn't it?"

Rey's throat worked. "Sorry. Sometimes there are these…thoughts, memories, I wasn't trying to pry without your permission."

Rose shook her head. "Leia said once that sometimes we get so loud, it wakes her up. She looked right at Poe and Finn when she said it. "

Rey sputtered. "No. "

Rose smirked, but her smile faded as Leia's name disappeared into echoes between them. She tried to slip her hands into her pockets, only to realize there were none. She made a face.

"Can't sleep?" Rey offered, taking pity on Rose's evident discomfort.

"That obvious?" Rose hesitated. "Have you talked to Finn recently?"

Ah, that explains Rose's late-night repairs.

Rey exhaled. Her gaze settled on Rose.

Rose nodded. "He shared his plan with me." She scowled. "And I told him exactly what I thought about it."

So much for counting on Rose to be a voice of reason.

Rey dropped down on a battered toolbox. She looked up at Rose.

"I'd hoped you would be the solution," Rey admitted. 

"Rey, no one can talk Finn out of much. Except for maybe Poe and even that's not a given. Force, it took me ramming Finn's sand speeder to _convince_ him not to continue his suicide run into the battering cannon."

"Yes, I heard about that." Rey wished she reached Crait sooner. She was acutely aware of everyone's pain, especially Finn, Poe, and Leia's, but she also felt like an intruder every time tears were shed. She wasn't there.

A faint gleam caught Rey's eye. Rose's crescent moon pendant shone, polished as if new.

Rose tracked where Rey's eye line was. She rubbed a thumb over the metal hung outside of her shirt.

"Your sister Paige wore one just like it," Rey remembered. "Finn mentioned it."

Rose shrugged. "There wasn't a body to bury. It felt right to keep wearing this in her memory."

"And hold onto your grief," Rey said. She winced. "I wasn't trying to be cruel."

"That's what I like about you, Rey." Rose tucked the pendant back into her shirt. "You speak the truth no matter to who."

"Some find it annoying."

"I find it a relief." Rose smiled faintly. "People know where they stand with you. It's like a blueprint to an N3D U-wing. It's there for you to see. There's nothing hidden for you to figure out. Manufacturers were concise with what can and cannot be done to the N3D."

Rey blinked. She laughed.

"I've never been referred to a U-wing before," Rey giggled. "These past few months, it's been Jedi this, Jedi that." She almost regretted taking the name Skywalker. Its legacy followed her like a tracking fob

Rose snickered. "No offense, but at first, I was like the others. You were Jedi Rey."

Rey canted her head up at Rose. "What changed?"

"You lost your mysticism after proclaiming your love for the _'Scoundrel and the Kidnapped princess of Jan Los X.'_ I lost all respect for you after that."

"It's a brilliant piece of fiction!"

+++

_…hold on…_

_…please…_

+++

_Be with me…_

Rey meditated as Rose moved on to the next Y-wing. It made a surprisingly comfortable white noise: Rose banging away at a part, muttering under her breath about wires and circuits. Rose's thoughts hummed familiar to Rey. Rey was able to let them curl in the back of her consciousness, all warm and soft, while she allowed her own thoughts to drift.

_Be with me…_

Finn's thoughts were closed to Rey, tightly sealed like an airlock door. It was a conscious and deliberate move on his part. Despite his care, though, his determination leaked through. His thoughts about Poe escaped like hissing air; they were tainted with fear.

Poe's, hazed by drugs, floated pensively around Rey. Somehow, that hurt more.

Rey opened her eyes. Rose sat opposite of Rey in a similar pose, a wrench balanced on her crossed ankles.

"Is it helping?" Rey asked dryly.

Rose's thin brow knitted together. Her eyes popped open.

"No, not really." Rose grinned sloppily. "Did it help you?"

Rey shook her head. "I'm no closer to figuring out how to help them without resorting to shooting a blaster and stunning both of them."

Rose grimaced. "I wouldn't do that. Especially Poe. Kaydel told me that's what Leia did to Poe after they mutinied."

"Finn means well," Rey said. She shook her head. "He meant well when he started posing as General Dameron, too. They both meant well trying to hide this from me. And I know he thinks he means well by planning what he's going to do with Poe. But it's not what Poe needs."

"Nor Poe is helping Finn." Rose scowled. "He thinks he is, trying to stay on as General Dameron, but it's not what Finn needs either." 

Rey ran a hand through her hair, untangling the knot of hair on her head. "Finn thinks he's his past. He didn't use to think that way before."

"Things were a lot simpler back then," Rose said, subdued, "Even though there was a war going on, things were simpler. There were more of us to shoulder the load." 

Rose blinked rapidly. "I was happy to stay in the bowels of a transport to tinker and support my fellow Resistance fighters in that small way. But then Paige died. Suddenly, I needed to be more than who I thought I was. Suddenly, everything I did have much more consequences than a well-running ship." 

"I thought I have to do more than just my part in life," Rey said softly. "I had to stop being only a scavenger. I needed to become a Jedi, this…this symbol." And she couldn't do that. She took on the name Skywalker but couldn't bear to live as a Skywalker.

"You were never just a scavenger," Rose murmured. Her eyes shone when they stayed on Rey. "It was never in you to be just a scavenger."

Rey smiled wanly. "Thank you." She glanced at the sky brightening to morning. 

"We have to stop him," Rose said quietly. "This is going to end them both."

Rey nodded. "I can stop Finn, but it doesn't solve the problem." And it could be the end of her and Finn as well.

"Just delaying the inevitable." Rose stared at the wrench in her hand. "It felt like that's all we've been doing. Nothing was getting fixed. Poe's determined to help Finn. Finn's just as stubborn in wanting to help Poe."

"Perhaps," Rey said slowly, "We're looking at the wrong people for the solutions."

Rose's eyebrow arched high.

"Can you delay Finn?" Rey asked. "Find him and keep him there."

"What are you going to do?"

"Find the one person who could truly help Poe."

"Who?"

"Himself."

( hoping I can get the rest formatted and up by tomorrow evening, thank you for bearing with me )


	15. Chapter 15

BeeBee Ate trilled Poe was awake when Rey arrived at their quarters. The astromech rocked left and right by Rey's feet, warbling Finn wasn't here, and Finn was always here, and BeeBee Ate didn't understand why Finn wasn't here—

Rey brushed the tip of BeeBee Ate's antenna. She crouched down and smiled faintly into the main sensor lens.

"It'll be all right," Rey told BeeBee Ate. Her hand smoothed over the curved head, tracing the thin orange plating that ringed the dome. Memories of pulling a net off a determined orange and white droid on Jakku floated to the surface.

"We'll be fine. I promise," Rey reassured BeeBee Ate. Her words settled heavy in her chest, though. She should have unearthed the Jedi texts in her craft. Surely there was wisdom among the pages she could use.

The astromech was silent, sensor light focused in Rey, binary running inside, servos burring in thought.

BeeBee Ate's domed unit nudged Rey's hand on top; a few notes twittered out before rolling aside.

Rey rose to her feet. She considered the door, her hands curled and uncurled. She brushed her palms down her tunic, mildly distracted by the fact she couldn't feel sand on the weave. She didn't charge into their quarters. However, she didn't knock either. 

Poe must have tried to get out of the bed at some point. The blankets were on the ground again. He managed to get one boot on, but not the other.

"Thought you would be out for another hour," Rey remarked. She studied Poe, her head tilted as she studied her friend. It didn't look like whatever Neelsy administered helped much. Poe's feverish flush lingered on his cheeks, a stark contrast to the ashen pallor of the rest of his face.

Poe shrugged. Only the right. His left arm was wrapped around his middle like it was damming up his insides.

"I am full of surprises." Poe glanced over his shoulder.

Rey's gaze followed Poe's eye line. She grimaced at Finn's neat bed

"Never came back, huh?" Poe's mouth twisted into a weary smirk. "I don't know who was madder at me: Finn or Kalonia."

"Try me," Rey said. She sat down on the edge of Poe's bed. She eased his foot onto her lap and grabbed the other boot.

Poe watched Rey as she pulled the straps loose on his footwear.

"You don't look mad," Poe said at last. "Unless that impassive face is a Jedi thing."

"I'm not mad," Rey relented. She rested her hands over the top of Poe's ankle. 

"More like...disappointed."

"Uh oh," Poe said lightly. "Nothing worse than a disappointed Jedi." He held up a hand when Rey dragged a glare to him.

"I'm not oblivious to the situation," Poe said, sobering. "But you can't tell me to leave Finn to fend for himself by going into the bacta. It's not guaranteed that I would even come out of it either. "

Poe's foot was cold, the veins in his ankle a disturbing dark blue that spread to the skin. Rey eased the boot over Poe's foot. She resisted helping Poe adjust the footwear. However, she brushed Poe's hands away before he could bend too far forward to tighten to straps.

It was tempting to use the Force to tie the boot while Rey talked to Poe. But she found an odd sort of peace with her fingers plucking and pulling fasteners, like tugging wires off a compressor or bypassing a fuel convertor with sure hands.

"You can't tell me not to help him," Poe said all the sudden as he watched Rey. He sat back on the bed, foot on Rey's lap. His resignation as Rey finished bellied the edge in his voice.

"I'm not telling you not to." Rey felt Poe's foot wiggling to break free. She settled her hands over the toe of his boot to still it. "I'm asking you to take the surgery and the bacta, Poe."

"And how," Poe bit out, "is leaving him alone supposed to help him?" 

"Have you ever thought," Rey said quietly, "That by staying, you _are_ leaving him alone?"

Poe tensed. "What are you talking about?"

Rey wished she knew with clarity or with the Jedi advising. 

_Be wit—_

And Rey stopped. Because they won't come, and she didn't need them to talk to Poe. Or Finn.

"You kept fighting for Finn to step forward." Rey gave Poe's boot a gentle shake even as she frowned at him. "Yet you're also determined to be everyone's general. Doing this; you're leaving Finn alone."

"What?"

Rey shook her head. "I'm not explaining it right."

"No," Poe said tightly. "You're not."

Poe pulled his leg off Rey's lap with a muttered "Thanks." He didn't stand up from the bed. Rey suspected Poe didn't have the energy to try.

The room was quiet saved for Rey's measured breathing, and Poe's careful one; she could hear his efforts not to be gasping. She listened to his life force trickling out of him without his consent.

Rey bit her lower lip. Her eyes shifted to stare at the clutter of datapads and ignored food on the table.

"Do you remember what I told you and Finn about what happened in Exegol?" Rey began hesitantly. 

"Easy to remember," Poe said casually, "According to you, not much happened."

Rey knew Poe was only lashing out to get her to retreat. She pressed her lips together. 

Poe's shoulders slumped. 

"Sorry," Poe exhaled. He reached over and brushed Rey's arm with a shaky, cold hand. "That was petty. Go on."

"I died."

Poe's breath hitched, his voice thinned. "I heard."

Rey nodded jerkily. "Remember how he saved me? He used his life force."

Poe made a sound, a begrudging noise acknowledging Rey.

"Like you did with that snake." Poe made a face, no doubt remembering the tunnels.

"And…" Rey gulped. "And like I did on Kef Bir."

Poe's gaze narrowed on Rey. "Who did you save on Kef Bir?" After a beat, Poe exhaled. "Oh, Rey."

Rey closed her eyes to what she might see in Poe's expression, unsure which reaction she feared.

"Was this a Jedi thing?" Poe asked carefully. His voice was cautiously curious, tentative like he was guiding a ship through a minefield. 

Rey shook her head, her braid unraveling on her head. It felt apt. 

"A dyad in the Force," Rey murmured. "Two linked in mind and heart."

Poe gingerly sat back. He studied Rey, his face unreadable. 

"So the Force…compelled you to save him."

It would have been easier if Poe sounded angry. Instead, he sounded exactly as she suspected Finn would: sad, pity, confusion, yet accepting. 

Rey's head went left and right, stopped, and then, she nodded.

"Well, that clears everything up," Poe sighed. 

"I chose to save Ren," Rey blurted out. "Because I felt Leia die."

Poe rubbed a hand over his mouth. A hand swept over his stubbled chin and jaw, mouth working as he absorbed the words. 

"You felt Le—you felt her die," Poe said at last as he lowered his hand.

"We were dueling on the ruins of the Death Star. I was losing. Then, I felt her calling to him." Rey screwed up her face. "And when he was distracted, I…"

Rey mimed a striking motion. Her hands dropped to her lap and twisted the broad sashes of her tunic.

"And then you saved him."

"I chose to save him." Rey locked gazes with Poe. 

"You saved him for Leia."

"Yes, …and for me." Rey dropped her eyes when Poe's expression went neutral. "I wanted to give him a choice to return to the Light. I knew Leia wanted him to have that choice, but if I killed him…"

Rey lifted her shoulders, her eyes downcast.

"That clears some things up about why he helped you in Exegol." Poe heaved a sigh. He sounded reluctant when he added, "You saved him."

"I gave him a choice. And it was as Leia and I'd hoped. He fought back to the Light." Rey blinked rapidly. She felt more than saw his nod, the bent of his dark head, accepting the lightsaber she sent through their bond. He sent back a vow: _hold on_ , he was coming for her. And he did. And yet he didn't. 

In the end, it was a well intentional yet empty promise.

"At Exegol…" Rey willed back the lump in her throat. "I defeated Palpatine with all of the Jedi, but it took everything. I-I died. And then I felt him. And then I wasn't dead. And he was."

"He chose to save you," Poe murmured.

"He chose wrong."

Poe's eyes sharpened on Rey.

Rey shook her head. 

"I'm not saying I wanted to die, but he shouldn't have made that choice for me."

"He wanted to save you," Poe argued. "You faced Palpatine, became the Jedi he feared he couldn't hope to be so instead he saved you—"

" _He abandoned me_!"

Poe started.

Rey didn't mean to say it. She tried to squash down the growing feeling pressed up against her heart.

But Poe kept saying "he," and she kept saying "he." They all did. It was like they accepted his sacrifice as the burden of his destiny. It felt like they left his memory vague, a ghost that shouldn't appear.

"Ben," Rey gritted out. It hurt as much to say his name as it was to hear it. "He gave up his life for mine. He never fought for his. He didn't give me the option to fight for him."

"Rey." Poe couldn't think of anything else to say.

"I came back to Ben, not Kylo. There was so much hope; that being a Jedi didn't mean sacrifice. Not always. And then he..."

Rey didn't realize she was crying until Poe swiped a thumb under her right eye. She blinked at Poe and thought about him and Finn and what they showed her in dreams before they became nightmares.

"Don't you understand?" Rey said, her voice thick with tears that wouldn't stop falling, "Ben thought he saved me, but he ended up burdening me."

"Rey," Poe croaked. "Ah, Rey." He curled a hand on Rey's shoulder.

"How am I supposed to be the Jedi he wanted to be?" Rey sobbed. "I gave him a choice to choose his path, and he fought! Why didn't he fight to stay? How are we a dyad in the Force when there's only one of us left? It wasn't fair. He should have fought to live. For us! I was abandoned, Poe. Abandoned. _Again_."

"Hey, hey, no, you weren't—"

"Don't you see that's what you're doing to Finn?" Rey wiped her arm viciously across her eyes. Her armband rubbed against her cheek. "You're taking away his choice to fight. You're making him believe his past is what's destroying the future."

Poe looked dismayed.

"I know you only want to help him." Rey smiled watery at Poe. "You only want to save him, but you're also letting him believe his past as a Stormtrooper is something to be ashamed of."

At Poe's head shake, Rey pressed on.

"It's not what you intended, but it's what you're doing. I know why you want to save him as much as why Ben wanted to save me, but it's not working."

Rey grabbed Poe's hand on her shoulder. She clutched the cold fingers with both hands.

"Poe, Finn thinks he can't be General Finn."

"No," Poe rasped as he shook his head over and over as if Rey's words would bounce off his denial. "I've been fighting to get him to step forward, to resume being—"

"The only way to fight," Rey said. "The only way to fight for Finn is to fight for yourself." 

Rey tugged Poe's hand until bloodshot eyes lifted. She guided Poe's hand to lay flat on his heart.

"Finn has to fight for himself. You can't do it for him. I can't do it for him. But if you refuse to fight for your own life, Finn will. He has no choice but to. Then you're robbing Finn the choice to fight for his."

Poe stared at Rey. 

"We can't help Finn," Rey stressed. "Only Finn can help Finn."

Poe breathed hard, too hard. Rey feared she went too far.

Silence returned between them. There was nothing else to say. 

Rey felt clumsy, awkward, like the first time she was on the base after Starkiller. There were more people than she ever saw in one place and they were inexplicably glad to see her. The brief time she was there before she left to find Luke, she jumped from awkward and often rude comments to being mortified and unsure of herself.

It was like a glimpse to the past again, only this time it was from herself. Rey roiled, conflicted on whether she said too much or not enough at all.

When Poe pulled his hand free from Rey's grasp, Rey swallowed. She looked at him with hooded and uncertain eyes.

Slowly, a crooked smile curled on Poe's face. He huffed and weakly patted Rey's shoulder.

"Wise Jedi," Poe murmured. 

There was still an edge of fear lingering in the back of Poe's eyes, but Rey felt something inside her unclench.

"Compared to you two idiots." Rey wiped her running nose with the back of her hand. This was why she detested crying; appallingly messy. "I am completely enlightened next to you two." 

Poe scoffed. His head dropped back. He rubbed his chest absentmindedly as he stared at the ceiling with an intensity Rey knew Poe reserved for his star charts.

"Finn's planning on mutiny, isn't he?" 

Rey blinked.

Poe exhaled. "That's why he's not here."

"It's frightening how well you two know each other yet so utterly clueless," Rey muttered as she shook her head.

"Huh?"

Rey took a deep breath. A weight that burned in her belly cooled. The mass was still there; she would not be surprised if it stayed there. But it felt bearable now, promising it would lighten in the years. One day, Rey might even be able to think back to Ben Solo with fondness rather than bitter grief.

Poe studied Rey. He reached over and brushed the hair away from her drying eyes.

"Better?" Poe asked. "Now that you've finished yelling at me?"

Rey glowered at Poe. Poe grinned back in a bleak copy of his unrepentant smirk.

"If all else failed," Rey scoffed. "I was going to lock you and Finn in an X-wing."

"X-wing only seats one person," Poe reminded Rey.

"Exactly."

The two chuckled. Rey thought she felt the Force smooth out, ripples calming around them, steadying their ship. 

"What now?" Rey asked. She wished she didn't say anything. The lightness over them abruptly vanished at her question.

Poe's hand curled slightly on his chest as if holding in the breath they can both hear rattling inside, his mouth thinned as he considered Rey's inquiry. He shrugged carefully. 

"Talk to Finn before I'm forced to throw him in the brig." 

Poe paused. "Actually, we'll need to make one first. We never got around to that. We've been just confining rowdy people to that derelict ship at the end of the airstrip."

A knock in the door interrupted whatever Rey was about to say.

Poe roughly scrubbed his hands across his face.

"Come in," Poe called.

A tall violet-eyed lieutenant with a tiny pink mouth stepped into the room. Rey didn't recognize the race, but the newcomer appeared humanoid, female, and very nervous.

"Cleaks," Poe greeted, his voice forcefully louder. "What is it?"

"Transmission, sir. Insisting on speaking with General Dameron. I-I couldn't find General Finn."

Poe frowned mildly. "Which one? Kriggs? Rells? Hiz?"

Cleaks held her datapad up to her chest like it was a shield.

"Um...all three?" Cleaks squeaked.

Poe rested a hand on Rey's shoulder. It shook as he started to rise, stopping before his thighs were entirely off the bed.

"Poe—" Rey started.

"Cleaks," Poe said. The firm tone Poe carried in his voice before now wavered. "Let them know I'll be there shortly."

The officer's eyes flickered. Double eyelids, Rey thought.

"Should I get Neelsy?" Cleaks stammered, her eyes blinking rapidly.

"No need." Poe tried again, this time with Rey gripping his elbow. He stood, leaning slightly against Rey. He smiled reassuringly at the lieutenant. "I won't be too long with them." 

Cleak hurried out to the command center.

Poe's left boot abruptly skidded out from under him. His weight crashed into Rey. She staggered before pulling her energies to keep them both steady.

Ragged breathing, sharp with pain, filled Rey's ears.

"Poe." Rey slanted a worried look at him. 

Poe's head lifted with effort. He grimaced tiredly at Rey. 

"I can fix this," Poe promised hoarsely. Yet he sounded so sure, so resolved, Rey knew this was how Poe must have looked before the Resistance went to Exegol.

"All right." Rey wrapped an arm around Poe's middle, careful because she felt how much Poe increasingly favored his left. She gave Poe a gentle hug, tucking him closer, her power keeping him on his feet. The Force flowed around both, and she sent a plea for it not to fail her. Not now.

"What can I do?"

"Help me to the command center."

+++

Rey sensed Finn and Neelsy coming as she stepped out of the command center. She brushed down the robes from Leia she took from Finn and Poe's quarters and readjusted her lightsaber off her belt. She stood in front of the command center, watching the two far away dots crash through the jungle towards her, tiny animals fleeing from their path.

A deep breath. _In. Out._

Another breath. _In. Out._

In Rey's ears, she heard the echoes of Ren's craft shrieking towards her. Here, she felt the same taut coil in her stomach as Finn and Neelsy came to an abrupt halt in front of her.

Finn glowerred when Rey held up a hand. He appeared to be debating charging through Rey regardless.

"You and Rose…nice try, but it didn't work. Don't try to stop me, Rey." Finn's eyes were hard, yet the rest of him trembled. "Zorii will be here soon. Rey, we need to get Poe to Kalonia."

"You do this, and you'll destroy what you two have between you," Rey reminded Finn. "This isn't the way. Not when Poe knows it means you'll—"

"General Finn doesn't need to exist." Finn curled his hands. "But I need Poe to be okay."

Rey's mouth tilted down. 

"The only way he'll be okay is if he knows you'll be okay."

Rey pointed to the cavern behind her.

"Right now, General Poe Dameron is informing the upper Senate seats that he will be unavailable for the next month and that General Finn will be in temporary sole command."

Finn jerked. 

"He can't do that," Finn rasped, his eyes widening. "Rey, I can keep going as—"

"He's stepping back to let his co-General take his place."

"They would never—"

"You're right," Rey agreed. Her heart ached at how strongly Finn believed it. "Not at first. Poe knows they'll most likely combat your authority every step of the way." 

Rey took Finn's hand, but Finn jerked it out of her grasp.

"But Poe also knows this is a battle you'll win," Rey murmured. She didn't chase for Finn's hand. She waited.

Finn's chest heaved. He vehemently shook his head, very much like Poe did. They were so alike at times in their stubbornness.

Rey's eyes drifted to Neelsy, who clutched a medical satchel once more as he hung back. The boy was no longer as thin as he was in Rose's memory. He grew out his light military cut into long wavy strands all over his face, highlighting how young he was.

An idea curled like a ribbon in her mind.

"You're Neelsy," Rey said curtly.

The medic blinked, taken aback. He nodded.

Rey smiled, softening her tone.

"You were the defector at the crash. You helped the generals."

Neelsy, still looking surprised, nodded again.

"You only defected that very day," Rey continued. She caught Finn turning to Neelsy like he was seeing him for the first time. "Your entire company. Yet you all helped, without hesitation. Why?"

Neelsy flushed. 

"We heard about FN-2187." Neelsy smiled. It looked natural on his face, but small, still new to the medic. He turned to Finn. "We heard he stood shoulder to shoulder with the Resistance. Together, they brought down the First Order."

"And that's why your company reached out," Rey prodded. "After the First Order fell."

Neelsy's eyes flicked down to his boots.

"We talked about it after word got out about the Battle of Exegol. But we weren't sure." Neelsy shifted from his left to his right. 

"All our lives, we heard what the Resistance would do to any of us if captured."

"It's what they told me too," Finn said, his voice rough. "They lied. To all of us. Fear was their best way to control us."

"Fear controls everything we do," Rey murmured. "Even the Jedi acted out of fear once or twice in his or her lifetime." Rey smiled gently at Neelsy. "Yet, you defected to the Resistance." 

Neelsy's eyes stayed on Finn. "We were defecting to General Finn."

Finn's throat worked.

"We saw you side by side with the very enemy who wanted to strike us down. It felt like everyone in the galaxy was hunting for us and wouldn't listen to anything we say."

"Everyone but Finn," Rey guessed.

Neelsy nodded. "If General Finn trusted General Dameron and vice versa, we knew we could trust either general as well. That's why when we heard about the explosion, we knew we needed to help them. Both of them. We needed to keep the peace."

Rey breathed in deep. Rey's head tipped to Neelsy in thanks. 

Yes, they were no longer fighting for peace. They already have it. But it was a fleeting thing, so fleeting. They were all fiercely fighting for it. It never occurred to any of them that peace was already in their reach.

"Poe was fighting for you in there all this time." Rey turned back to Finn, who gazed back with calmer eyes. "He was fighting for peace. He was fighting for Leia. But most of all, he was fighting for you."

Rey curled a hand on the fist against Finn's side. It loosened within Rey's touch.

"I think it's time you fight for yourself."

Finn gave Rey a tight-lipped grimace. He exhaled shakily.

"You're both trying to help the other, but you're not helping at all." Rey stepped closer into Finn's space. She leaned in, her shoulder brushing against a heaving chest, against Finn struggling with something deep within himself.

"You know why Poe's doing this for you," Rey whispered into Finn's ear. "For the very same reason why you've done all this for Poe."

Finn's fist completely unfurled and wrapped around Rey's hand.

"Search your feelings," Rey said softly. "Poe trusts you to do this. He never saw your mask. Don't put it back on. It's time to stop hiding."

Finn squeezed his eyes shut. When he opened them again, it was the same Finn who stood in Ochi's ship, the same Finn who made them hold hands and resolve they would finish it to the end.

"Come on." Rey kissed Finn's cheek. "Go be Finn."

Finn nodded jerkily and pivoted towards the command center.

With Rey's hand firmly in his grasp.

"Really? Again with the hand holding?"

+++

_"...if we need to reassign the number of seats—"_

"Then General Finn will work with you on them. He is aware of where I stand on the issue," Poe said. He stood, feet shoulder apart again, hands clutching the edge of the console.

_"And we are to believe this General Finn who deceived us for so long—"_

"With the security threat, I felt it was necessary for the deception. For that, I apologize. While the threat still exists, I have every bit of confidence at leaving General Finn in command while I recuperate." 

_"There are mobs seeking blood. You can't think they'll accept a former—"_

"That is your responsibility," Poe cut off Hiz. He was harsh, barely audible between his pained gasps. The senators, however, were oblivious to them. "Your leadership can't turn a blind eye on this anymore. Where will it end?"

Finn tensed next to Rey. He abruptly released Rey's hand and stepped up to stand by Poe.

Poe's breath stuttered until Finn's right hand slipped around to grasp the back of Poe's jacket.

 _"General Finn,"_ Hiz greeted coolly. The other senators said nothing. _"Welcome. Or should it be General Dameron?"_

Next to Finn, Poe grimaced.

Finn's mouth curled up. "Whichever you're comfortable with, Senator Hiz. You and I have met plenty of times when I was both. You were difficult no matter who I was."

A senator among the holograms stifled a laugh. Next to Finn, Poe coughed.

 _"Then perhaps you should have let yourself continued as General Dameron, sir,"_ Hiz snarled. 

"And you've let your citizens run around taking a perverted justice in their own hands," Finn said, his eyes unwavering from Hiz's hologram. 

Next to Hiz, Kriggs sneered. _"The First Order kept us under their thumb for years. Understandably, my people want revenge."_

Rey took a deep breath. She smoothed down the robes once more. The fabric flowed down her body, like the Force was wrapped around her.

"Revenge destroys." Rey positioned herself to Poe's other side. She knew she probably stood too close. But Poe peeled his death grip off the console and brushed a thumb across her trembling hand.

"Revenge never heals," Rey continued. It sounded right. It felt right. "The peace we've gained is too fragile to survive the dark emotions of revenge."

 _"And who might this be?"_ Another senator Rey didn't know pointed at her with a jab of a long-boned finger.

 _"Ah,"_ Hiz demurred. _"This is the Jedi I mentioned."_ He bowed deeply.

Poe gave Rey an eyebrow. 

Rey gulped and nodded.

"This," Poe rasped, "is Jedi Rey Skywalker."

 _"Skywalker?"_ Kriggs openly gaped at Rey. 

"Luke Skywalker and Leia Organa were my teachers." Rey couldn't stop shaking. She grabbed Poe's hand and held tight. "I wear their name in honor of my teachers."

 _"Skywalker,"_ Seegas murmured. _"A Skywalker among our ranks?"_

 _"Does this mean you intend to revive the Order, Jedi?"_ Hiz cut in. 

Rey stuck out her chin. "Maybe. But if I do, it would be with the Resistance."

The holograms murmured and exchanged looks with each other. Hiz seemed flustered.

Poe smiled grimly.

"All we have been doing so far is work with each other separately, never agreeing, never seeing eye to eye. Do you see what we're doing right now? Do you see any solution in sight with what we've done so far?"

Rey caught Poe take a deep breath, his right leg tensing straighter to keep him upright. She sent a tendril around Poe's middle, shoring him up. He didn't look Rey's way, but his hand tapped a quick code of thanks. on her fingers 

"No more," Poe rasped. "You will work with General Finn during my absence. When I am fit for duty again, General Finn and I will work with Skywalker regarding the Jedi. In a month, we'll convene. Every one of us."

 _"Convene?"_ Rey couldn't keep track of all the senators. Poe must have holo-commed more.

"Poe?" Finn murmured too low for the holoprojector to catch.

Poe smiled at Finn. He turned to Rey and nodded before he faced the holoprojector again.

"In Naboo." 

Rey paused.

Finn caught on quickly. His hand loosened and moved up to middle of Poe's shoulders while Rey sent up an invisible hand in his place.

"Before General Organa was general or senator," Finn told the speechless holograms, "she was a princess, her mother was—"

 _"Queen Amidala of Naboo,"_ Kriggs murmured. Even in the blue tint of the hologram, her eyes seemed to shine brighter. _"Queen and senator. Amidala gave so much to the old Republic."_

 _"Naboo,"_ Tolks commented, _"I like it, but the Resistance should remain a neutral party within the New Republic. To position a base in Naboo suggests favoritism."_

"After Operation Cinder, the Naboo government build a new palace on the other side of the planet in the city of New Theed. They'd offered the remains of the first city to the Resistance with the understanding this will not grant the sovereignty of Naboo any special privileges." Poe reached for a datapad on the console, grimacing as he tried. Finn beat him to it, punching up the file Poe wanted.

A hologram of Naboo pushed into the cluster of the senatorial projections. It floated, suspended, in blue light, its three moons around it like jewels of a celestial crown.

Naboo. Rey felt a spark that shimmered down her spine. A buzzing returned to her skin, a sensation that now promised instead of warned like before.

So much started with Naboo. The thought of finishing in Naboo sang in Rey's blood. The Skywalker and Palpatine lines crossed paths in Naboo. 

Perhaps it was time to untangle these threads. 

Poe gave Rey a sideways look, a silent question. She smiled and nodded.

"Naboo was part of every turning point in our battle with those who tried to suppress us." Finn spread his hand wider against Poe's shoulders. "It's a strategic location in the Mid Rim. We can respond faster to anyone who requests the Resistance's help."

"The Resistance's role will be to maintain the peace General Organa fought to regain for so long," Poe said. His lips twisted to a sort of smile, one tinged with grief. 

"We'll make the remains of the first palace of Naboo our base in honor of her," Finn added. He stepped in closer to Poe. When Rey looked over, their profiles lined up. Something inside her flared bright and hopeful.

"And to her memory, we will have our first council meeting there," Poe declared. His voice softened. "We can think of no better way to honor our General."

 _"She'll always be royalty to me,"_ Hiz said gruffly.

Kriggs and a few others nodded, too choked up to speak.

"Look at that," Poe said lightly, "We finally agree on something."

"Work with us." Finn tipped his head up to stare at the holograms. "We won peace, help us keep it. The First Order is no more, but if we keep fighting among ourselves, the new Republic won't survive either."

"General Finn has never broken my faith. I owe him my life," Poe said, his eyes steady, his voice so sure, Finn gazed at Poe, his mouth slightly open. "There's no other man I trust more on and off the battlefield."

"The Force brought us here together," Rey added. She clutched Poe's hand as she fought to keep her voice steady. "Such things occur for a reason. I have faith in both generals. And you have my word you can trust putting your faith in them as well." 

_"Such ringing endorsement, Jedi Skywalker,"_ Hiz murmured. _"Did the Force tell you this, Jedi?"_

Rey looked over to Finn and Poe before she faced the senators crowded in the holoprojector.

"Yes," Rey declared, "as well as my heart." 

The senators looked at each other. They seemed to agree for Kriggs to speak for everyone.

 _"We will try to work with you, General Finn,"_ Kriggs said. She looked at Finn with a mild frown, but she kept her gaze with Finn. _"We cannot guarantee it will be easy. There are years of bitter history to overcome."_

"All we ask is for you to try," Poe replied. He looked over to Finn and then to Rey. "It's all we can hope for; that you try."

"None of us can do this alone," Finn added. "I look forward to working with you. _All_ of you. We can do this. We've already done what many feared was impossible. There's so many counting on us to revive the Republic."

Rey stepped back and let them finish discussing the details. Her chest swelled as she watched Finn and Poe edged closer together. Shoulders touched, so close they appeared linked, they continued talking with the senators. 

When Poe's voice rose, Finn gripped Poe's jacket and tugged it back gently. When Finn's steady burr stuttered with frustration, Poe carefully bumped their shoulders together.

And Rey was content to stand back, observing with a growing feeling that lifted the corners of her mouth. She watched over the two, her heart was full, and her skin tingled with the sense she was where she should be.

When done, the holograms faded, each solemnly nodding to Finn and Poe as they ended the transmission. 

When the last hologram winked out of existence, Poe sagged.

Finn caught him.

"Hey," Poe murmured. He dropped his head onto the crook of Finn's shoulder. He breathed deep. "Hi."

"Hey," Finn replied quickly. He wrapped his arms around Poe. He closed his eyes and pressed his face into Poe's hair 

"Finn..." Poe coughed and tried again. "You have to know that I..."

Finn nodded, his chin knocking against Poe's temple. "Yeah, I know. I know."

"This was never about—"

"I know."

They stood folded into each other in the quiet.

"I'll be okay, Finn," Poe exhaled. 

Finn pressed a kiss into Poe's curls. He tucked Poe's face to his shoulder, cupping the back of Poe's head. His face wore a fierce and protective expression. 

"I'll be okay, too."

"Yeah?" Poe rasped, muffled against Finn, but he still sounded hopeful.

Finn looked over Poe's head to Rey. He smiled wearily at her. 

"Yeah," Finn whispered. His eyes glinted as he brushed his lips against Poe's brow. "Poe, I..."

"Tell me later," Poe interrupted. He pulled back to give Finn a shaky smile. "Tell me when I get out of the bacta. I'm getting out of it, Finn. I'll see this through. Okay?"

Finn swallowed hard. His arms engulfed Poe as he hugged Poe harder, pulling a weak "Oof" from Poe. "Okay. I'll be waiting."

Poe coughed out a small chuckle. "I uh, I'll have something to tell you, too."

"You better," Finn pretended to growl.

Rey stepped forward. She took one of Finn's hand fisted on Poe's jacket. She rubbed Poe's bowed back with her other.

"You two are such idiots," Rey murmured. But they were her idiots.

Finn and Poe chuckled wetly. They stayed where they were.

"Naboo," Rey murmured. She sensed Leia's approval hovering behind them, unseen but there.

"Call it a fit of inspiration," Poe muffled against Finn's shoulder. "A feeling."

Finn twitched. "Uh…A feeling?"

Poe snickered against Finn's shoulder. "Okay, maybe I have _two_ things to tell you. Or, well, you do." He lifted his head, leaned in and hesitated.

Finn met Poe halfway.

Rey flushed as the two kissed; she couldn't bring herself to look away. She did look down at her feet, however, when the two pressed into each other closer still, their sounds turning quietly desperate.

There was a sigh when the men broke apart, but it wasn't clear who made the sound. When Rey checked, they both looked dazed. They flushed and grinned sloppily at each other.

Then Poe ruined it when his knees buckled.

"I'm fine," Poe panted as Rey Force lifted Poe high enough to allow him to stay upright. 

Finn was wild-eyed as he ducked under Poe's right arm.

"Okay," Finn declared. He looked tempted to haul Poe over his shoulder instead. "Time to see Kalonia."

Poe hummed. He rested his head against Finn's.

"Okay," Poe exhaled. His eyes slowly slid closed, cracking open when Finn nudged him awake.

"Neelsy," Rey bade. 

Neelsy was already pulling Poe's other arm over his shoulders before Rey finished.

The area outside the command center was empty. Rey trailed behind the trio. 

"I can't believe you convinced Rose to lock me in the armory," Finn grumbled all the sudden. He glared over his shoulder at Rey.

Poe choked as he struggled to put one foot in front of the other. Rey used her power to brush aside any debris in their path, but otherwise, let Poe move under his own power.

"I can't believe Rose managed to trick you into getting locked up," Poe wheezed.

"I can't believe you swooned after Finn kissed you," Rey remarked. 

Poe sputtered. Finn laughed. Neelsy coughed, but it suspiciously sounded like a laugh as well.

"Oh yeah," Finn chuckled. "I will never let you forget that, general." 

Poe grumbled under his breath.

Rey didn't comment, but she smiled after them as they entered the medbay, Kalonia snapping orders the moment she spotted them.


	16. Chapter 16

Finn looked lost.

Rey checked the medbay after breakfast with Rose. Sure enough, Finn stood in front of the bacta tank again, dressed in his officer's uniform, his eyes glued to the figure submerged inside.

BeeBee Ate's domed head tipped up and paused the stream of trills and chirps. The droid followed Finn—Poe's newest orders—and serenaded Poe every time they visited the medbay.

"I knew I would find you two here," Rey accused as she went around the privacy panel and stepped up to Finn. "Stop leaving me reports in my tent. I can't 'Force' them away." 

BeeBee Ate whooped, protesting it was Finn.

"Thanks a lot," Finn scoffed. He continued gazing up like it was the night sky.

"Good morning." Rey skimmed a hand across sleek metal. The astromech whistled a greeting before going back to the sweet melody of notes to Poe.

Rey glanced up. Poe was barely distinguishable with his breathing mask on, the lines of nutrients running into his limbs as he bobbed in the thick greenish liquid. He looked suspended, but every so often, a ripple in the tank ruffled a curl off his brow. She felt the heat from the container. Kalonia feared Ajan Kloss's approaching chill would harm her patients.

Finn's eyes flicked over to Rey before sliding back forward to Poe.

"When I woke up in the bacta suit," Finn remembered, "I didn't know where I was, couldn't remember what happened to me. All I knew was I needed to get out and find you or Poe."

"It's only been a week," Rey murmured. She smoothed down her front. Her lightsaber kept getting caught on the folds. She and Rose trimmed the length to something more practical, although she wished either one of them figured out how to sew on more pockets.

The movement caught Finn's attention. He tore his eyes away from the tank.

"Looks good," Finn said, nodding to the knee length robes. "Leia always did have good taste. Poe wanted to…" He swallowed and didn't finish.

Rey touched Finn's elbow.

"Poe survived the surgery. That was the biggest hurdle. Kalonia felt confident the bacta would finish repairing the radiation damage."

Finn exhaled. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"But, Kenth…" Finn shook his head. 

BeeBee Ate bumped into Finn's knee and cooed.

Finn glanced down at BeeBee Ate.

"You're right. I…Forget it. He'll be fine. Happy beeps."

Rey eyed the other tank on the opposite corner of the medbay. 

Beaumont Kin murmured in that direction behind a similar semi-translucent partition. He brought flowers again.

"Kalonia thinks Connix is coming out of it on her own. It's better that way." Finn placed a hand flat on the tank, over Poe's heart. Next to the tank, a datapad serenely beeped out Poe's vitals.

"And we'll be there when she wakes up." Rey settled a hand next to Finn's. "As we'll be there when Poe wakes up too."

Finn turned to Rey. He smiled faintly. 

"He'll wake up," Finn said, his voice firmer. He stroked the bacta tank at a spot over Poe's cheek. He absently touched his neck. Something thin and silver glinted within the open collar of his tan shirt.

Rey's smile broadened. She hugged Finn's arm. And Finn snorted, shooting her a smirk when he caught where she was looking.

"He was worried the bacta would rust it," Finn muttered. "Promised I'd keep it safe."

BeeBee Ate bleated, puzzled. A small empty compartment popped out. The astromech's domed head tilted down to it. And bleated again.

"No, BeeBee Ate," Rey chuckled. "This is Finn's mission. Very classified."

Finn rubbed the back of his neck, muttering under his breath.

Rey snickered. She canted her head up to Poe. Behind the mask, Poe's face looked calm, at last free of pain, at peace in a way Rey hoped would take residence in her friend's heart.

"General Finn?" Creaks lingered behind the curtain. "Transmission from Senator Kriggs. Her government was approached by a First Order platoon in her system. She's asking about terms of surrender. Seegas indicated he could have a transport ship there within the hour if needed."

Finn took a deep breath. "I'll be there in a minute."

" _We'll_ be there in a minute," Rey announced. She grabbed Finn's hand.

Finn's hand curled tighter around hers as he nodded.

+++

Flowers have sprung up on the tree bridge.

Rey fingered the pink-streaked blossoms the size of her pinkie nail. They wrapped around the tree like a vine; a garland of pink and white flowers tilted up to what little sun the thick jungle canopy allowed.

Hiz, Rey decided as she made herself comfortable in the center, was a simpering senator with delusions of grandeur and was far too fond of the old Republic days. If Rey were ever to make a list, yes, Hiz would be on the very top.

Last week, Finn reminded Rey not to threaten to blow up any more holoprojectors with the Force. He repeated the warning as he bounded up the _Millennium Falcon's_ ramp to fly off to meet with the surrendering troops on the third moon of Re-sha.

Rey wanted to whack Finn's head with an invisible hand. She knew it was not proper Jedi behavior, but who will refute her? But she didn't give in to temptation. She waved Finn and BeeBee Ate off and strode back into the command center. She wished Finn good luck in her head and knew Finn heard her in the Force.

Promises. Promises. Rey didn't blow up any more holoprojectors in the distance just to hear the senators shriek before their holograms snapped off. She only thought about it. Twice. 

Rey may or may not have knocked Seegas's hat off during their comm yesterday. Maybe. Perhaps. 

Over their evening meal, Rey told Rose it shouldn't count. Still…

"I'm not a very good Jedi," Rey said out loud, sheepishly.

_'Well, finally,'_ a gruff voice replied. _'That only took you four months to figure that out.'_

Rey narrowed her eyes at the glowing blue figure at the end of the bridge.

"Where were you?" Rey demanded.

Luke Skywalker offered her an arched eyebrow. He shrugged and walked or floated across the tree to Rey.

_'Where were you?'_ Luke countered. _'Did you have fun looking for moldy old temples? The last one on Dandabar was a fake, by the way.'_

"I called and called," Rey bit out. "Do the Jedi of old only come when I need to strike something down with my lightsaber?"

Luke sighed.

_'The Jedi of old? I'm not sure if I care to be lumped together with them like that.'_ Luke stroked his beard. Luke adjusted the sash of his robes before he sat down cross-legged next to her. 

_'Rey, the Jedi came to you after you accepted who you were: a Palpatine but also a Jedi.'_

"I do not deny I'm a Palpatine. I accepted it." Rey blinked rapidly. "I chose Skywalker because part of Skywalker is in me as well now."

_'Ben is at peace, knowing Skywalker will live on.'_

It was the first time Rey heard his name out loud; the first time someone other than herself dared to speak his name. 

"What purpose do we fill after we won the battle?" Rey stared hard into the water. Night cast shadows into the river.

_'The battle is never over for a Jedi.'_ Luke glanced down at the water with vague interest. _'The fight between good and evil, dark and light, is never over. Each victory comes with loss.'_

"Palpatine is gone. The First Order collapsed. Darkness failed." Rey glared at Luke, but she suspected the effect was lost as it felt like her ire went through him and towards the trees instead.

_'All a good list,'_ Luke said, _'But why are you measuring your victories with these?'_

"The Jedi are needed to—"

_'Restore justice and peace,'_ Luke sighed. _'I've heard it all before. You have, as well.'_

"We've done that," Rey pointed out. "Me and the Jedi before me. We've done that. It's over."

_'You're thinking in too large of a scale.'_ Luke shook his head at Rey.

_'I taught you to be a Jedi, but I had hoped I have time to teach you to be Rey.'_

Rey's brow knitted.

Luke exhaled. He was all echo; his sigh seemed to have seeped into Rey's bones. She felt his regret.

_'Although,'_ Luke mused aloud, _'I'm probably not the best example to follow either. Leia could tell you that.'_

"Where's Leia?" Rey asked softly. "I haven't seen her since…" Her throat worked. "There was so much I wanted to tell her, but I never…"

_'Leia knows,'_ Luke told Rey not unkindly. _'She's needed elsewhere.'_

Rey nodded.

_'Are you nodding because you truly understand or because you don't want me to know you don't?'_

Rey glowered at Luke.

Her Jedi Master chuckled. The blue glow around him brightened along the edges.

_'Remind me to tell you about my Master—most cryptic son of a bantha in the galaxy.'_

"Next time?" Rey peered up at Luke. "Then, I'll see you again? You'll come when I call?"

_'The Force isn't a holo-comm, Rey. We come when there is a need.'_

"A need?"

_'For guidance.'_

A thread snapped in Rey's chest, so sharp and sudden; she wondered why Luke didn't hear it.

"Guidance?" Rey repeated. Her eyes narrowed. "I needed guidance. In Tatooine. In my travels. Here. And I called. No one came."

Luke stared back at her, blank, his self-amused smile absent.

_'You didn't need guidance, Rey. You wanted answers.'_

Rey wanted to send a pebble through Luke and see if it would provoke any reaction other than smug enigmatic.

"Isn't it the same thing?"

_'The answers you seek only you can give.'_

Rey's brow furrowed. Maz inferred the same thing.

"I don't know why I'm alone," Rey said slowly.

_'Are you truly alone, or do you feel like you're alone?'_

Rey wondered if this was the cryptic nonsense Luke mentioned. She tugged at the sash ends that hung from her waist.

"How am I supposed to answer that?"

_'I think you tried to answer it before. Or at least tried when you kept calling to us.'_

Rey stared. "Then, the Jedi did hear me."

_'But they knew you didn't need them. Not for this. You stretched so far, reaching to every spot of the Force you can find. But you didn't catch us.'_

"I caught everything else." Rey grimaced. 

_'The visions and thoughts stopped intruding, haven't they?'_ Luke smiled at Rey's nod. _'Did you notice you never had a prophetic vision?'_

Oh. Rey pursed her lips, thinking. "It's because I was too focused on the past and present?"

_'And the pupil surpasses the Master,'_ Luke murmured.

Rey perked up. "Really?"

_'No, not really.'_

Luke arched an eyebrow when Rey levitated a twig and threw it through him. _'Well, that's mature. But at least you know your powers are working again.'_

Rey scowled. "The visions stopped. Why?" 

_'It's because you managed to answer your question.'_

Rey paused. "Why am I alone?"

_'You kept thinking about the fact you're the last Jedi, obsessed over needing someone else to explain what to do. You focused on the Jedi part and completely forgotten about the other part.'_

"What other part?"

_'The Rey part.'_

Rey plucked at the flowers by her. She thought about how they would nice behind Rose's ear.

"When I became a Jedi, I thought it was the solution, but I didn't know how to be a true Jedi that everyone expected."

_'So you asked all the Jedi before you what it meant to be a true Jedi.'_

Luke pursed his lips together in thought. 

_'I stayed in Ahch-To because I hoped to find out the same thing.'_ Luke frowned. _'But you're not going to like the answer.'_

Rey studied Luke. The back of her neck prickled.

"There is no answer."

Luke chuckled. _'You're learning.'_

Rey huffed. "It would have been nice if you just told me this," Rey complained. "Instead of…" She shrugged.

_'This was something you needed to learn as I did.'_ Luke sighed. _'The knowledge passed down from Jedi to Jedi are lessons. Not rules. You have to trust your feelings, stay in the Light, and believe the Force will guide you.'_

Rey mulled over Luke's words.

"I don't want to be a Jedi," Rey said finally. "Not only a Jedi. I want to be Rey, too. I think I want to find the balance to be both."

Luke shone brighter around the edges again. 

"Is that…" Rey asked, her voice smaller, "Do you think it's the right choice?"

_'That is for you to figure out.'_ Luke nodded at something past Rey's right. _'When you are actually alone, that is.'_

Rey looked over. She leaped to her feet.

"What are you doing?" Rey exclaimed when Finn emerged into the foot of the bridge with Poe's arm draped over him.

"Being stupid," Poe puffed. He knocked his head against Finn's shoulder. "I told him it'd be a lot easier if he just carried me on his back."

Finn grunted as he readjusted Poe's arm over his shoulders. "And I told him how ridiculous we'd look with him draped over me like a Wallio monkey." He shot Poe a scowl.

"You barely ate anything for weeks. How are you this heavy?"

"You eat too many of those spice biscuits," Poe huffed. He swallowed convulsively. "Oh, that's a lot higher than I remember. Are you sure this is the same bridge?"

Finn pulled Poe closer to him. "This is stupid. This is crazy."

"This is where we need to talk," Poe insisted. He slumped further. Finn swore and hefted Poe higher to his feet. "It's fine. I'm fine. I told you she would be—Oh."

Rey knew better than to wait for whoever won the argument. She extended out her hand and envisioned the two reaching her. She kept them closer to the end of the bridge because knowing them, one of them would pitch into the water, and the other would foolishly follow.

"Show off," Poe muttered as he eased down. He couldn't fold his legs, or at least Finn wouldn't let him. He sat with his legs hanging over the edge, Finn's arm around his middle to keep him upright.

Rey checked behind her. To no surprise, Luke wasn't there. 

_Typical._

Rey mentally rolled her eyes before she nimbly dropped down next to Poe, folding her legs in one single motion.

Sandwiched between Rey and Finn, Poe appeared to have no trouble staying seated. But Finn's hand curled tighter around Poe's middle every time Poe moved. And Poe kept huffing, shooting Rey an exasperated look every time Finn clutched him like a favorite child's toy.

"I'm not going to fall," Poe muttered when Finn grabbed the back of his jacket for the third. 

"No, you're not," Finn said determinedly.

Rey scoffed. Finn would probably fall first so he could catch Poe pitching over the bridge a moment later. She shook her head and let their presences fade into the back of her awareness, blurred warm and familiar. 

The jungle was a sea of sound above them. Rey thought she spied the bright tiny eyes of birds watching them. Every so often, one cooed. Another cawed. Below, the river was calmer, purring, and rippling in the crevice below.

"I'll miss this planet," Finn sighed. 

"Naboo." Rey tried to imagine it. "Rose and Beaumont showed me old holos. Is everything still standing?"

"Survey teams reported a portion remained structurally sound. We'll have to knock down some structures, but it's more than enough for what we need," Poe said. He swung his legs, whistling as he glanced down. "We haven't heard back from Green team yet, but I don't think they'll say anything different."

"Rey," Finn ventured. "Were you, you know, talking with the Jedi?"

Rey nodded. She sensed Poe's eyes on her.

"Luke," Rey clarified. 

Poe nodded, his face blank. 

Finn looped his arm around Poe's shoulders.

"Hey," Finn said close to Poe's ear. "You okay?"

"Yeah. It's fine," Poe breathed out. "I think wherever Leia is, she's..." He fell silent and studied the water. His profile was a shadow in the darkness, his eyes faraway.

"She chose you as acting general. And then you chose Finn to share command." Rey gripped Poe's closest knee. "She trusts you would make the right decisions."

"Well," Poe said with a self-deprecating smile, "sooner or later, I was going to get something right."

"Poe." Finn rested his head against Poe's.

Poe waved dismissively in the air. "Don't mind me. Post-bacta melancholia."

Rey scoffed. "You've been out of the bacta for almost a week." It was funny how Poe kept falling asleep at a moment's notice for the first two days. It was funnier how Finn stared distracted and with a silly grin each time he came across Poe

"Okay," Poe quipped, "Maybe I'm just grumpy because _someone_ here insisted we keep everything above the waist."

"Poe," Finn choked out. "You're recovering."

Poe winked at Rey.

"Can one die from a lack of sex?" Poe asked conversationally. Rey hummed thoughtfully. "Feels like one could."

"Doctor Kalonia did stress you should be in bed," Rey added.

"H-hey," Finn squawked. "That's not the kind of bed she—"

Rey and Poe started snickering.

"You two," Finn grumbled. He shook Poe gently within his arm over Poe's shoulders.

Poe chuckled as he dropped his head on Rey's shoulder. Finn's hand bumped into Rey's upper arm when it curled tighter around Poe.

The jungle around them sang with life. It was like it knew the Resistance was moving soon. Ajan Kloss gifted her temporary inhabitants with a sweet farewell.

"I'm sorry." Rey's thumb swept over Poe's knee. She tipped her head and rubbed her cheek on Finn's knuckles on Poe's shoulder. "After Exegol, I completed my path to becoming a Jedi. I thought that was all I should be: a Jedi. But I didn't know how to become one, not the one everyone expected."

"You're a Jedi," Finn said, "But you're also Rey."

"Our Rey," Poe murmured. He sounded like he was falling asleep again.

"You two are generals," Rey countered, "But you're also Finn and Poe." She peered around to Finn. "It's all right to be both. Like it's all right for me to be Rey."

"Clever Jedi." Poe kept his head on Rey's shoulder, but his hand was now tight around Finn's other hand.

"I wanted to help Poe. Poe was trying to protect me. And we wanted to help you, Rey."

"And I wanted to help you two." Rey unfolded her legs and let them hang over the tree, copying Poe. "But we ended up feeling alone. We needed to help ourselves to help each other."

Poe grunted.

"Someone once said," Finn said quietly, "there's only fear if we think we're alone."

"Close enough," Poe mumbled.

"I kept thinking I was alone and stopped hearing the Jedi and let my powers go astray. I kept searching to see where my future lies, believing the solution was in the past. I left myself wide open in the Force. I thought I was going mad." 

Poe was holding onto Finn's hand, but he reached over and patted Rey's knee with his other hand.

"I thought my past was destroying our future." Finn's hand flexed and unflexed around Poe's.

Rey's eyes drifted to Poe. "And you were afraid of where your path lies in the present as a general."

"Kriff, aren't we a pair?" Poe grimaced.

"There's three of us," Finn pointed out, ever mindful of the details.

"Sorry," Rey retorted. "Not interested. You two are far too noisy and terribly maladjusted."

Poe sputtered. Finn made a choking sound.

"Hey. So, we're not alone," Poe's boot tapped Rey's. 

"That's what I kept telling her," Finn complained. He shot Rey a grin over Poe's head. Rey made a face in return.

"We're alone if we choose to be." Rey threw Finn a meaningful look. 

Poe grunted. He knocked a knee against Finn's knee.

"What now?" Finn asked. The question sounded like it was to himself, to no one in particular, to everyone.

"Stop trying to solve everything alone," Rey said.

"Because we're not," Poe yawned. He switched his head to Finn's shoulder, his hand now over Rey's.

Finn gazed down on Poe. Rey caught the emotion flitted across Finn's expression; that intense memorizing eye following every angle of Poe's face, like it was the only thing worth looking at in the universe. 

The last of Ajan Kloss's crimson sunset purpled into the night. Finn absently dropped a kiss into Poe's hair. Poe mumbled as he drowsily traced the lines in Finn's palm with an idle finger. 

Rey couldn't look away, the sunset a vague notion in her mind and no longer held her interest. She drank in the sight of the two, her heart thumping in her chest as Poe murmured something and Finn chuckled in reply. There was an ache in the base of her throat that made her eyes prickled at the corners.

It was longing, Rey realized. Longing for something she'd hoped she would have with Ben. They had one perfect moment, but it shattered with his sacrifice.

Would she get it again? Could a Jedi have this? 

"Rose," Finn greeted the newcomer hanging back on the other end of the bridge.

Rey's stomach did another funny leap. She turned and gave Rose a little wave.

"Sorry," Rose called out. She didn't approach. "I didn't want to interrupt you three, you know, if you were, uh, sorry."

"No," Poe yawned as he lifted his head off Finn's shoulder. "We're done. I wore them out."

Finn tugged Poe's hair.

"Ow, no, all right, they wore _me_ out," Poe amended, chuckling when Finn groaned and pressed his face into the crook of Poe's neck.

"Come over here and save me from these two." Rey rolled her eyes. "They test the patience of a Jedi."

"Well, we can't have that."

Rose crossed the bridge, stopping short in front of Rey.

"Hi." Rose clutched a basket to her body with both hands.

Rey grinned up at Rose. She let her hair down today.

"Hi," Rey parroted back. 

Rose stood there, smiling down at Rey.

"Hi," Rose repeated, heard herself, and she flushed. She stayed standing.

Poe groaned. "Rey, you're a Jedi. Couldn't you..." Poe gestured vaguely in the air with his other hand. 

"You do look ridiculous doing that," Rey told Poe. Poe scowled half-heartedly.

Rey turned back.

"Rose," Rey said politely, "Would you like to sit down?"

"Wait, why does Rose get asked, and we get hauled over like a sack of gilba apples?" Finn grumbled.

Rose cast her eyes skyward as she sat down next to Rey.

"Mess made more of the sweet meats," Rose explained. She passed the basket to Rey. Rey handed it over to Poe, who made a face and gave it to Finn.

"Still taste bacta in everything," Poe apologized.

"Taste what?" Finn muttered, "You hardly eat anymore."

Poe ignored Rey's frown tossed his way.

"Rose," Poe shouted. Rose started. Rey narrowed her eyes in suspicion. "I like what you did with your hair."

"Oh. Yeah. Thanks." Rose's hand flew up to her straight locks. The tips twisted into loose ribbons. The hair was as black as night. Rey suddenly thought the tiny flowers in Rose's hair would look like stars.

"We should go back," Finn said to Poe. "I don't want to carry your lazy ass back if you fall asleep on me."

"You weren't complaining about my ass before," Poe mumbled. His eyes drooped, missing Finn's face turning into an interesting flush despite his dark skin.

"Poe," Finn muttered. He slipped an arm around Poe's torso. "Let's go to bed."

"Check out that blaster of yours," Poe slurred, half-drunk with exhaustion.

"Uh…" Finn stammered. "We should wait on that."

Poe heaved a sigh.

Biting back a smirk, Rey tsked. She pretended to frown. "Finn, you keep a blaster in your bed? That doesn't sound very safe."

Finn's eyes were large bright spots in the dark. "What? Blaster? M-me?"

Rose glanced over to Rey. After a beat, she shook her head. "Finn, you should know better."

Poe's shoulders shook.

Rey nodded to Rose. "You're right. Blasters could go off suddenly. That wouldn't be good."

Poe squeaked. He abruptly crushed his face into Finn's chest. His shoulders shook harder.

Rose didn't seem to notice as she tapped a finger to her mouth. She looked thoughtful.

"Blasters in a horizontal position tend to go off prematurely, too."

Rey caught a twinkle in Rose's eyes. She squashed down the grin that wanted to break free.

"Oh yes," Rey agreed in a grave voice, the one Finn started calling it her 'Jedi' voice. "Especially if that blaster gets a good whack on the barrel. It can start firing without warning."

"Are you all right, general?" Rose said innocently. Her hip knocked into Rey's.

Poe hiccupped into Finn's shoulder. He mumbled he knew Rey was his favorite. When Poe stood, leaning against a flustered Finn, he looked over to Rey and winked.

Rey finally allowed herself to grin.

"Good night," Rey bade sweetly. She kept an eye on her two friends, relaxing when they were off the bridge before adding, "Careful with the blaster!" 

Finn hurriedly helped Poe down the path. A frond smacked Finn in the face. Poe yelped when they tripped over a tree root thanks to Finn's haste. Something chittered angrily during their escape.

"Safety first!" Rose called out cheerfully.

Poe's howl and Finn's exasperated, "It's not that funny. How did she know?" floated back to Rey and Rose.

Rey listened for Finn and Poe. Their voices dropped to something softer, deeper, intimate until she couldn't hear them anymore. She stared at the direction they went. 

Warmth bloomed in Rey's chest as she stretched out her senses. 

Finn and Poe's lights pulsed the brightest again. Rey's eyes burned at the corners as she basked in the Force. The lights around her sang, two chorused louder than the rest.

Her Polaris stars. 

"Careful with that blaster?" Rose drawled.

"Safety first?" Rey repeated when she turned back to Rose. 

After staring at each other for a moment, Rey and Rose burst out laughing.

"Oh," Rey giggled as she wiped a tear from her eye, "I'm a terrible person. Blaster in bed. Really."

"I don't think you're a terrible person," Rose murmured, smiling almost to herself.

Rey's laughter faded. She peered at Rose through her lashes.

"Oh," Rey managed. She worried about the hem of her robes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Rose hugged the basket of treats to her stomach.

"I heard…" Rose tried, "You'll be joining us at Naboo?"

Rose's voice held so much hope. It trickled into Rey's belly like a hot drink that infused her entire body when she breathed.

"Soon," Rey promised. This time, it felt like a real promise. One she looked forward to keeping. 

"There are minds out there," Rey said. Rose tilted her eyes to the sky. "Force-sensitive and so unsure." _And alone_. 

"You're going to be their teacher?"

"We're going to learn together," Rey said. "I have the texts. I have my teachings. But there's still so much to learn. I don't have all the answers."

"You'll have to teach each other." Rose's gaze dropped to Rey. She looked awed. 

"A Jedi Order. A new Jedi Order." Rose's eyes glittered as if the above stars sank into her gaze. "Wow."

"A new Republic." Rey felt an overwhelming pressure in her chest. "I didn't think I would ever see it."

Rose huffed a light laugh. "I hoped I would, but there were times…" She sniffed loudly. She touched the pendant around her neck.

"There were times," Rey murmured. She scanned the jungle. Simple bright thoughts blinked back at her. 

"I'm glad I'm going to see it happen," Rose said. "Finn and Poe said we'd make it happen together."

Rose took a deep breath. 

"And…" Rose stroked Rey's hem. "I'm glad I'll get to see it with you, Rey."

Rey swallowed. She tentatively reached over. 

Rose seemed fascinated with a tree in the distance. Her hand remained on Rey's robe draped over a knee. She didn't say anything; she didn't look over.

Rey felt like her hand was a paw when she covered Rose's. Rose's hand was small. Rey's hand lingered, finally pulling away, her heart on her throat.

A breath escaped Rose's lips. Her eyes slid over to Rey's, her cheeks pink.

"Me, too," Rey stuttered. "I mean, I'm happy to see it with you."

At the corner of Rey's eyes, there was a flicker of blue, lightning blue but nowhere as chaotic. Her intuition told her not to look directly at him. The glow would fade away, still unsure of his welcome. 

Rey sat there, smiling at Rose, basking at the soothing flow of the Force that connected her to the lone, hesitant new ghost hanging back from the edge of her perception.

He felt…relieved. Happy. Grateful. And without looking, Rey knew there were tears in his once tormented eyes, a smile in his once unhappy mouth. He felt full. He felt complete. He felt like a part of Rey. And Rey accepted that. His energy swirled in her, intertwined with her heartbeat, pounding in sync as she gazed at Rose Tico.

"Can I…" Rey floated a few pink blossoms off the tree bridge. The flowers danced around Rose, who exhaled in amazement.

_Show off_ , Ben Solo rumbled. He laughed unfettered and pure in the Force when Rey mentally shrugged in reply.

The flowers dropped into Rose's hair, pink stars in a galaxy Rey started to believe can be hers.

Rose looked up at Rey, her lips curved, slightly parted in awe and curiosity.

Rey hesitantly felt an ebony ribbon of Rose's hair slip like silk between her fingers.

"I thought they suited you," Rey explained shyly.


	17. Chapter 17

Chewie bellowed by the _Millennium Falcon_ ramp.

"That's rude!" Finn shouted.

Chewie barked something else in return.

Poe threw his head back and laughed. 

"I can't help you there, general," Poe teased as he shouldered past Finn to wrap Rey in a hug. "You're on your own with that mission. Wookie grudges are known to last generations."

Rey buried her face into the crook of Poe's neck. She soaked in his aura. It pulsed stronger each day, glowing steadier with content. There were bursts of joy (pulsing in sync with Finn), and she knew, deep down, his light will beam endless joy soon. She knew Finn would make sure. Or he'd have to deal with Rey.

BeeBee Ate trilled sadly by their feet.

"Oh you," Rey scolded lightly. "You can't have it both ways. I'll be fine. D-O will send holos."

When Chewie returned yesterday, the little droid whizzed down the ramp, chiming "Rey—fixed squeaky wheel. So kind. Hello, hello, Rey!" And it was decided: Rey was going to search for her future pupils with Chewie and D-O.

"Sorry you're stuck with the second choice, buddy," Poe told his astromech with a shrug.

BeeBee Ate squawked rapidly in denial. The droid bumped Poe's knee, taking care to be gentle despite Poe's increasing protests (to anyone who would listen) that he was okay now.

"Don't be greedy, Poe," Finn said. He prodded Poe to step back. "BeeBee Ate, Connix made you schedule charts for Poe's recovery. A new mission, remember?"

BeeBee Ate whistled proudly. Poe cast his eyes up and mouthed, "Why me?" to no one and everyone.

Rey chuckled as Finn's arms engulfed her into a hug. She embraced him just as hard.

"Take care of each other," Rey murmured. 

"And you better come back soon," Finn whispered back. He gave Rey another squeeze. She felt the hint of that thin chain against his neck.

By now, there was a mix of Resistance veterans and wide-eyed recruits gathered in the landing bay to see Jedi Skywalker set off to establish the first Jedi Order in generations. Their thoughts buzzed in the back of Rey's mind, a low hum she tucked into her heart, memorized the flurry of thoughts to be a homing beacon for when she rejoins them in Naboo.

A soft glow hung back in the crowd. 

Rey's breath caught. She gave Finn a look. His eyebrow rose, but he turned around and nudged Poe back into Rey's arms.

"Couldn't get enough?" Poe joked but quickly threw his arms around Rey once more.

Rey pressed her mouth by Poe's ear.

"Leia's here."

Poe stilled. Abruptly, he squeezed Rey closer like he was hugging two people.

Rey felt Poe trembling, felt Finn step closer to block Poe from view.

"I don't think she's ever left," Rey whispered. The moment she said it, she knew it was true. She rubbed Poe's back, her fingers brushing by Finn's splayed between Poe's shoulders.

"What…" Poe rasped, more into Rey's shoulder. "What is she doing?"

Rey didn't look over. She knew.

"She's rolling her eyes at you two."

Poe burst out laughing, lifted Rey off her feet, and spun her around.

"General Poe Dameron put me down this instant!" Rey shrieked, laughing. It was very un-Jedi-like, very un-General-like, especially when Finn, not to be outdone, took over. 

Yes, very inappropriate behavior, but oh, _oh,_ it felt right. 

Finn put Rey down when Rey started tugging at the chain around his neck with an unseen finger. She smirked at Poe; his neck was suspiciously bare. 

Poe held up his hands. 

"Wait," Poe said, "One last basket for you."

It was a larger basket than the ones from before. This one was full of pink flowers and a datapad.

Poe grinned. "I heard you were interested in the schematics for the new X-Wing we're developing. Loaded a few holonovels into it, too. Should last you about a…month?"

Rey held the basket close. She scanned the crowds. And saw her.

Rose straddled an X-wing's nose in the back above the crowds. She put braids up in her hair again. A newly repaired target drone bobbed behind Rose. There was a pink flower tucked behind her ear. She waved to Rey.

"It's perfect," Rey murmured. She hugged the basket and smiled.

"Sirs?" Creaks inched out of the crowd with an apologetic look on her face.

Finn and Poe groaned.

"Hiz?" Poe asked. He looked at Finn.

Finn shook his head. "I bet it's Rellas. I told you that comment about his ears was going to haunt us."

"Actually," Creaks spoke up. She grimaced. "It's both."

Poe gave Rey a mournful look. "Have to cut our goodbyes short."

BeeBee Ate beeped.

"BeeBee Ate's right." Finn settled a hand on Poe's shoulder. "It's more a 'See you later' than goodbye."

Rey nodded. She glanced over to Creaks.

"Be sure to send me updates as well as through D-O," Rey advised. "If you need me, I'll be there as fast as I can."

"Could get to Naboo faster if you lightspeed skip," Poe suggested. He innocently blinked when Rey dragged a glower to him.

"Remember," Rey told Cleaks.

"Yes, Master Skywalker," Creaks fumbled. She clutched her datapad with two hands, her eyes huge.

Rey exchanged a grin with Finn and Poe. 

"Call me Rey."

+++

_The uniform should fit better._

_He took a step back. He made a circling gesture with a finger._

_Poe rolled his eyes. He obediently did a slow turn, his arms extended out._

_Connix found the brown officer uniform among Leia's things. Leia was a bit of a collector, shoving tightly packed boxes and packages wrapped in brightly colored fabrics in the various crates in the Millennium Falcon. Sadly, Leia probably lost a lot of it in the ships that fled D'Qar. She never said a word, though._

_"Well?" Poe huffed, "Can I put my arms down at least? I feel like I'm about to take flight."_

_He was staring all dazed at Poe's, um—_

_"I think it needs to be taken in," he said hastily. He tugged at the fabric that sat loose across Poe's shoulders and the pinch of fabric around Poe's waist._

_"Either that or you need to visit the Mess more." Most likely, the latter._

_Poe grunted as he looked down at himself. His shoulders hunched forward._

_"Fits weird," Poe mumbled. Poe swept a hand down the front. "Doesn't feel like it's mine."_

_"Sure, it is." He pointed to the flimsi with Poe's name scrawled across in fragile print. It sat among the folds of a scarf Leia used to wrap the uniform._

_Poe sighed. "Never mind."_

_With a snap to tug his jacket straight, Poe slipped the narrow belt through the loops. He turned on his heel and canted his head._

_Poe has this intense look that made his chest feel tight and too small for the hammering of his heart._

_"How does mine look?" he asked, his arms up like Poe's before. He didn't do a slow spin, though. The thought of Poe staring at his ass did funny things in his stomach. "This is definitely not my uniform, unlike yours."_

_"Maybe," Poe said thoughtfully, "But you should keep it. It suits you."_

_The snort escaped before he could stop himself._

_"What?"_

_"That line again?" He grinned at Poe._

_Poe smirked as he swept his hands over the uniform in front of him._

_"Finn," Poe said his name with such wistfulness, he couldn't help but touch Poe in return, his palms going across Poe's broad shoulders._

_"I know, I know," he murmured. He reached up to brush a stray curl off Poe's forehead. He stopped before his gesture moved to trace the swept of Poe's brow next. "After this whole Republic business gets sorted, right?"_

_Poe's lips crooked into a rueful smile. "And after we fetch Rey back from Tatooine?"_

_"Hell, yea. Rey will kick our asses if we don't include her in this." At Poe's eyebrow, he snorted. "You know what I mean."_

_Poe chuckled low. Poe reached over and helped him with his collar._

_His throat worked when Poe's thumb traced the side of his neck before lingering at the hollow of his clavicle._

_"You do look good in that uniform…General," Poe murmured. He peered up through his lashes._

_His stomach did another flip. The tent felt like a wind picked it up and tumbled it and its occupants down a slope._

_"I bet you," he rasped, "will look just as good out of it."_

_Poe stared at him, speechless, busting into a laugh after he waggled his brow at Poe._

_"That," Poe managed around a giggle mixed with a snort. It made him want to gather Poe against him and forget about the ceremony waiting for them outside._

_"That was a terrible line," Poe finished. His face was flushed, his hair tousled and—do they need this ceremony? Everyone already called them "General."_

_"Soon," Poe murmured. His eyes darkened with promise. "After the Republic's restored, I'm going to tell you all the terrible lines I can think of."_

_"Yeah?" he asked. He fixed his jacket and adjusted his belt. He really should see about getting Poe's uniform taken in. Or see if the Mess could make some of those spicy meat rolls Poe likes so much._

_"Yeah." Poe's mouth parted. Poe stared meaningfully at his mouth. With a sigh, he stepped back._

_"Come on, Rey's going to skip the ceremony and fly off to Tatooine without saying goodbye if we're late."_

_"Right behind you, general," he quipped as he bounded up to Poe._

_Poe's smile wavered when he looked over._

_"I prefer besides me, General Finn."_

_They were still in the tent, so it was safe for him to catch Poe's hand. He_ _squeezed the stiff fingers until he felt them relax in his grip._

_"I can do that, General Dameron," he promised before reluctantly letting go._

_Strides matching, he and Poe stepped out of the tent and into their new roles.  
_

\+ the end (or the beginning) +

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the sappiest, unsexiest slash fanfic I ever wrote. LOL. Rest assured, my next fic (Finn's turn) will definitely have more sex. 
> 
> Despite the lack of slash in this fic, thank you for giving this story a chance. I had fun exploring Rey's POV.
> 
> ————-
> 
> Come say hi on my [tumblr](https://d8rkmessngr.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Goodness, it went from a 7K fluff piece to this space opera. Oh my....


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